Ive posted about DD a few times before so some of this maybe familiar. But , Dd aged 14 admitted to me at the weekend that she is self harming again and sometimes thinks of suicide,but just talks herself 'out of it'. She also said she thinks she has ADHD.
What practical things can I do to help?
I have contacted CAMHS , but I didn't find them that helpful when we first spoke to them 18 months ago. Back then I got her referred via our GP after she told me she was self harming. We saw them once and then they referred her for an ASD assessment which came back as her having autistic 'traits'. She admitted at the weekend that she had tried to kill herself at that time, although I didnt know that at the time. She had a few private counselling sessions and then told us she felt better and rather naively , I thought we had moved on.
But, shes now telling me she feels as bad, if not worse than then. She hides her feelings well, so as awful as this sounds theres part of me that wonders if shes exaggerating to get a reaction. 
But then again , I don't want to take any risks especially as she talks about suicide. How do you unravel how much is teen angst and over dramatising and how much is real?
She has asked me not to tell DH, which for now I have agreed to under the condition that I will have to at some point when shes ready. He tends to roll his eyes when she get all 'doom and gloom ' which she has a tendency to do. She always catastrophises and thinks the worse. Ie, When I go and meet friends she always tells me to be careful in case I crash the car.
She seems 'happy'. I have never been depressed like this, is it normal for those closest to you to miss it? She was very tearful when she told me what has been going on but claims up when I ask questions to try and work out how serious this is. Should I hold off on the questions?
I am taking her to and from school at the moment which is a chance to talk. Not that she often does. I am also getting her out for dog walks everyday. She has spent the last 5 months mostly in her room avoiding social contact. Now, shes back ar school which I am hoping will help. But she hates school and always has done. I have agreed not to involve the school , because to be honest they weren't helpful last time. They offered no help at all. Just said they would let all her teachers know that she wasnt allowed to go to the loo in class time in case she SH in the toilet! And told me to hide all the scissors in the house.
. No counselling or pastoral care offered.
I am thinking of getting her out more as well. Her whole social life is online.
Should I get a private psychiatrist assessment done?
Dd thinks she has ADHD. I dont know about that , but she certainly may have something. She's always struggled socially , very sensitive to others feelings , sensory issues paired with constant complaints of achey joints. Should I pursue a diagnosis or try and deal with the depression first?
As you can see , I am awake in the early hours. If you have been through this and didnt have anyone in real life you could speak to, where God you get help? I am so worried I am going to walk in her room and find her dead. I cant get my head round where it must have gone wrong. 