Any advice on how to help 15 yo DD deal with unwanted attention/comments from older men

[Bellebelle]

My 15yo DD is frequently getting comments about her body (she is slim with big boobs) from older men in the street - when she’s walking to school, out with friends etc. I experienced the same at her age and while I didn’t like it I was quite balshy and confident at that age and I think I mainly told them to get lost in no uncertain terms (wasn’t as polite as saying ‘get lost’ I think...)

DD is very different in that respect though, she’s quite shy and understandably finds it intimidating and horribly uncomfortable. It’s making her feel quite anxious and self-conscious about her body.

What to do though? As much as I hate it and would happily throttle any man I found saying anything inappropriate to my daughter the issue isn’t going to go away, there are some complete pricks out there who won’t think twice about saying these things.

Does anyone have any advice about how to help her cope with this? Anyone been through similar? Thanks

@Smallsteps88

So what do you suggest when ignoring has the opposite effect of what you want and angers them so they keep on?

Get out of there, asap, is the only possible thing to do here. If ignoring them angers them so will any other reaction, and this is the point where my assessment of them would go from 'disgusting creep' to 'active danger' and I'd start planning exit routes.

I was going to post wear headphones but keep the sound off or low so you can hear what's happening around you.
That way you can safely (ish) ignore as you may not have heard.
It's really sickening that we have to teach young women how to keep themselves safe when really all it would take is for (some) men just simply not to behave like this.

Obvious Airpods (even if there's no music on) might give a bit of a buffer if your DD wants to be able to appear as though she hasn't heard the comments but it doesn't sound as though she's feeling any less uncomfortable about the situation. Has she said if the men making comments are often the same/in a particular location? If they are, I wonder if she might feel empowered by reporting them online for anti-social behaviour e.g. the MET Police has an online crime reporting service. Although it might feel like a hassle, it will help the local force to form a picture of where gender-based harassment is taking place. There are some very small body cameras that slot into rucksack straps etc. That sort of thing has become popular with cyclists and others who feel as though it may be useful to have a recording of their journeys. If it would help your DD feel safer if she knew any harassment was being recorded, maybe having a body cam would be worth buying. It shouldn't be necessary but as you say in your OP, she's feeling uncomfortable so anything that helps her feel safer and more confident is worth looking at.

Organisations such as Plan International have campaigned about this and had it recognised as gender-based violence. Perhaps finding out about/getting involved in an organisation like that may be of interest to your DD.

I'd love there to be a social media campaign where we post footage (not of the girls) of this behaviour by men all over local social media accounts. I remember a woman who did a video like this, and the video of how many men put their hands on a woman in a nightclub.