Sleepover request at a new friend's house for 15 yo DD

[MollynAlly]

AIBU or what! My DD recently made a new friend, she goes to the mixed secondary my DD goes to the girls school! Our town is pretty small so many people know each other and the teens know/meet each other via social media through friends of friends etc. So she met her new friend a few times since lockdown eased up and now she asked my DD for a sleepover at her dad's house ( mum and dad split up and remarried, she has a step brother at her dad's house) who also lives very local to us! So, we both said a big fat NO! As we don't know her, her mum or dad-never met and yet she has a step brother who is 16- I am picturing many scenarios in my mind but of course DD is very upset as they want to bond but our response will be no until we meet her and eventually meet her parents! Do you agree?

I wouldn't like it either

At 15 I would be fine with this.

I ave never met any parents of teen DC’s friends.

Why can’t you drop her off and say hi to the Dad?

You can’t avoid every friendship where a girl has a brother 🙄

Why don't you offer to have the friend over for a sleepover then you'll get to meet her and at least one of the parents and make an informed decision.

Presumably the Dad and step mum will be there?

She's 15....not 5!

Oh for heavens sake, let her go! Is this really how you see the world, its sick!

Why don't you offer to have the friend over for a sleepover then you'll get to meet her

So perfectly OK for the friend to have a sleepover in a new friend’s house, but not the OP Dd?

And how would she meet the parents? Teens round us Make their own way. At least if the OP’s Dd goes to the friend’s the OP can (cause maximum embarrassment) drop her off.

This is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Get a grip!!!

I'd let her go, like a previous poster I haven't met all of the parents of 16 year old DS's friends and he frequently stays over at their houses

Ridiculous

My DD knows me better she already offered to her friend that she comes over first but then she said her parents are overprotective and asked my DD that she went to theirs. My DD said we are the same! I am bit more than my husband, he is more worried about COVID impact-which I also agree but for me it is more that it is her dad's house with a 16 yo brother- I am hopeless and watch so many crime investigations programs

They are probably nice people but what if I don't like what I see when dropping her off!!

Wow a single parent dad with a 16 year old brother shock horror.
Hopefully you don’t pass this on to your dd.

Red flags:
The friend goes to the MIXED SCHOOL
The friends parents are SPLIT UP
But remarried. The woman the Dad married has a SON
He is SIXTEEN

The fact it’s her dads house and she has a brother is really irrelevant... would you be saying the same thing if her parents were still together?

It's fine. She's 15, not 6. You rarely meet the parents when they are that age. It'd be a quick 'hello' and small talk at drop off. As for the step brother, what are you planning to do; ban her from all friends who have male siblings? I'd always get the parents' phone number, and give them mine if they were sleeping over, though. Teenagers need their friends more than ever at the moment. I'd be delighted if one of mine went for a sleepover. Presumably she's got a phone, so can call you if any issues arise, which they won't. They'll just have an amazing time.

Thanks a lot all, your messages gave me a different perspective! I guess it is me having difficulty to let things go🙈 sometimes it is hard to believe she is 15 and she will be 16 in six months time! This might come across the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard but it is not ridiculous for me!

Omg my 2 teen dd's have 2 teen dbs.. Better not have any sleepovers.
The guests will be raped and slaughtered in their beds....

Stop being so bloody ridiculous and let your daughter have some independence. In a year she'll be old enough to have sex, leave school and get an apprenticeship, ride a moped on the road etc and yet right now you're saying no to a sleepover based on the fact this girl has a brother. She is 15, let her act like a 15 year old not a 10 year old!

Nobody mentioning about not mixing households... that was my first thought.

I'd be fine with that, and was.

Really? Has everyone forgotten we are in the middle of a pandemic? There should be zero sleeping over at the moment irrespective of age.

@Redwinestillfine

Really? Has everyone forgotten we are in the middle of a pandemic? There should be zero sleeping over at the moment irrespective of age.

You're allowed to have two households together, as long as they SD?

So, if the Dad is over protective, even worse than you, do you think he would be the type to welcome your Dd with a gin and tonic, roll her a spliff, say ‘sit and watch porn with my 16 year old step son while I go out gambling’?
Even if his Dd does go to the Mixed Secondary school? (Shudder)

I am absolutely not judging parents being split up!

Our would be a no from me given the current guidlines.