DD struggles with periods

[RosiePosie15]

Hi, I’m new here so I hope this is in the right place. DD16 has been struggling with her periods for over two years now, regularly throwing up and missing school plus fainting once or twice. I’ve usually made her go in to school for yr11 but now she doesn’t have to, she just lays in bed most of the day when on. We’ve gone to the doctors several times over the last year and are now on a third treatment. The thing is I think she’s after some sort of miracle cure. I keep telling her that’s she’s just going to have to tough it out but she always gets super defensive. She takes a lot of painkillers too because she says the pain is unbearable. She’s also developed toasted skin syndrome from hot water bottle usage but she refuses to give it up. When I was 19/20 my periods were bad so I took the pill and have stuck with it since (with some obvious breaks to have kids). Is there anything I can do?

@RosiePosie15
My daughter (18) suffers horribly too. She was put on the pill at 15 and although it helped her periods it completely changed her personality. She was depressed, moody, horrible to be around, refused to go to school. Was put on antidepressants went to therapy, nothing helped. I begged her to come off the pill last year. She is a different person now but I read that the damage done might be permanent. She's still on low dose antidepressants. She still has bad periods but manages well with TXA and co-codamol.

My DD suffers similarly and has just been referred for endometriosis investigations. It runs in our family and she has many symptoms. Even though she started her periods when she was 10 they still fobbed her off with nonsense about things 'settling down'. Finally saw an excellent female GP and took all her research and family history notes in with her. Referred straight away.
Good luck to your DD, sound horrendous for her.

Tough it out isn't the answer, I'm afraid. It can really blight your life.

Insist on a GP appointment for her and offer to go with her for it. Then you can advocate for her and push hard for referral to a gynaecologist.

As someone who had severe D&V during my period at her age (vomiting a dozen times in 2 hours meant I always threw up my medication) I really feel for your daughter. Hormonal contraception helped (I was under 16 when it was first prescribed) The mirena I was advised to have at 20 helped even more. It's exhausting, painful, dehydrating. You're right though, there's no miracle cure. Sending good vibes your way.

I had investigations at 20 for endo too by the way, but alas no "reason" for the hell.

I had very heavy and painful periods since they started, my mum told me to also tough it out and “we just have bad periods in our family”, I got put on the pill at 15 by a nurse, which helped a lot, but severely affected my mental health, to the point I almost had a breakdown and went on antidepressants. Someone finally listened to me and referred me (reluctantly) for investigations ten years later when I was bleeding non stop and in extreme pain going to the toilet, I had a laparoscopy and was diagnosed with endometriosis.

Unfortunately, my treatment after that has also consisted of being told I can either go on the pill or the coil and that’s it. I’ve tried three different pills and they all affect my mental health severely, so I just put up with it for now and use painkillers when the pain is too much.

She needs investigating as she sounds like she is suffering more than I was.

Oh gosh your poor DD. I was like this in my teens, throwing up regularly and totally out of it, I couldn't function for 2 days a month, lying curled up in a ball while I waited to fall asleep was the only way to get relief. The pill (microgynon and yasmin) worked for me luckily but since having DC they have returned sadly and I am now on a combination of tranexamic acid and mefenamic acid which luckily again both work for me, while waiting for referrals to get back to 'normal' then I can have a scan. I suspect endo, I have a lot of the common symptoms. Keep being her advocate, I think I didn't really get taken seriously as a teen but I do much more now as a nearly 40yr old!

So sorry that your DD is going through this

My DD has had awful period pain for years, was on tranexamic and mefenamic acids for a couple of years because she didn't want to start the pill (at 15). Now at 17 she has been on the pill for about 6 months and most of the pain has gone (occasional cramps, she doesn't know why?).

She loves not having any periods and dreads the week "off" the pill. Her GP discouraged the coil and implant, which DD wasn't keen on anyway.

Anyway, don't feel guilty, but do push to see/ talk to the GP and push for a gynecologist referral. The level of pain you're describing is having a massive impact on your DD's life and she shouldn't have to live that way.

As your DD sounds reluctant, suggest that there is a choice: push for investigations which may result in treatment and less pain, or continue like this indefinitely :(

Another one saying please insist on a referral to a gynaecologist (and preferably an endometriosis specialist). Also, please take her seriously - she sounds like she is really suffering with it.

I was gaslighted into believing my terrible period pains were normal in my teenage years. After years of horrendous pain which disrupted my life, then later infertility, treatment, miscarriages, bowel and bladder and back problems (even struggling to walk some days) it turned out i had stage 4 endometriosis and adenomyosis (plus PCOS which was diagnosed in late 20s)... it took me 25 years to be diagnosed due to the GPs telling me it was normal/not to fuss in my teens and therefore I just put up with it. Fortunately I have managed to have children but I have daughters so any sign of it and I will be following up.

Best of luck to your daughter xx

DD is keen for investigation and I’m happy to support her with that, if that’s what she wants. I’m not aware of any family history with this, so my DD’s pain took me by surprise especially since she was much younger than I was when I struggled. DD isn’t very assertive and would accept anything a nurse or doctor told her. I’ve gone with her to previous appointments (her choice) and let her explain but I think she struggled to get her point across. Could that be why they’re not taking her seriously? She’s confident in telling me what’s wrong but not them.

Periods like this are not normal!!

I’m a doctor and it still took me until I was in my late 20s to get diagnosed with endometriosis, having worked my way through every type of pill, coil etc.

You need to help her advocate for herself. Get her to join UK endometriosis support and awareness on Facebook, as well as Nancy’s Nook and push for investigation.

Ha anyone suggested a tens machine for the pain instead of direct heat treatments? I have a chronic pain condition and used to rely on warmed up bead bags and oat sacks and hot water bottles for pain relief. Then deep heat sprays but my skin was suffering (and electric throw blanket, though I still use this as it causes no harm to my skin).

I was recommended a tens machine and I now use a 4 electrode Medifit tens machine to great effect. It can be used on a tens setting or a muscle stimulation setting and you can buy wrap around belts rather than sticky electrodes (also sensitive skin electrodes).

It's just something that might help if you know anyone who might have one you can borrow for a try. My husband has a bowel condition that gives him cramps and he uses my tens as well to get relief.

@Cheerybigbottom No-one has of yet but my DH mentioned it once as an alternative too. We got an electric blanket for DD a while back and she says it’s great for when her back is giving her grief and so far it hasn’t caused any problems with her skin.

I had six years of agony for my teen years went on pill at 19, tonight after six months of clawing pain after coil fitted I’ve had a night off from pain, this needs sorting and please no more toughness talk, periods can be agony.

Poor kid. Has she got codeine? Also tens machine. Also yeah, throwing up and fainting is not normal or okay, but medical systems love to tell teenage girls they're being histrionic. She is allowed to be a pain in the arse if it means she gets treatment.

Anaemia is definitely an issue with heavy periods I had several episodes of anaemia in 1st couple of years of having periods.

It can make the bleeding heavier (ironically!) and of course cause other symptoms like fainting, dizziness, migraine, blurred vision and palpitations (which can be terrifying for a young girl who doesn't know what these are - I had an especially bad set once and thought I was having a heart attack!)

Anaemia caused me to pass out and fall several times, my school at the time was an old Victorian building laid out over 3 floors with stone steps between floors and I once spectacularly tumbled down a full flight and cracked my head due to a fainting spell.

Sometimes iron rich diet simply isn't enough, you need vit c to absorb iron best anyway and no iron blocking food/drink being consumed at the same time so whole diet needs looked at. Even then sometimes supplements are needed.

The cold water bottle thing I discovered by accident! I was in a painkiller induced fugue and reached for what I thought was a hot one and applied it and it helped! My pain wasn't always centred on the uterine area, I didn't understand why at the time as was undx but when it was later dx and properly investigated the pain in my chest, upper abdomen and lower back made sense as I had large patches in those areas.

Much has been removed by surgery but they obviously can't remove every cell so it regrows slightly, medication can keep it at bay.

Quite honestly simply having a dx was a relief! So much so that when the dr told me I cried and they mistakenly thought I had misunderstood or didn't have the knowledge to understand that it was a treatable condition but I explained I had known for 14 years there was SOMETHING wrong gynaecologically I just couldn't get ANYONE to believe me! Not even my mum.

The dx led to us discussing in more depth and when I told her she apologised. She thought I was exaggerating/being a drama queen! Even though that's not in my nature at all, I'm actually quite a stoic type when it comes to pain/illness (possibly as this was usually the worst pain I had to deal with on a regular basis - when I had appendicitis and other well known to be painful ailments I barely raised a concern as in comparison to the period pain it was much milder!)

Shocking to see even on this thread so many women brainwashed into thinking hormonal contraception is a cure for such things - it's not! It merely suppresses/masks the symptoms, this can lead to the sufferer thinking all is well while the undx condition continues to cause damage.

I've at least 2 each of friends and relatives who couldn't have children as a direct result of such actions, one had to have a full hysterectomy at 27 years old

I was VERY lucky to eventually have dd but the pregnancy was not straightforward and the endo indirectly caused complications with the birth.

It's 2020 we really shouldn't be STILL having to fight to get acceptable gynaecology treatment in a developed country!

@Elsiebear90 and others the pill:hormonal contraception is NOT the only treatment don't be put off by lazy ill informed hcps, there are several surgeries and medical treatments which can help even if "temporarily" - but "temp" meaning several months or as much as a few years! I had great success with prostap the first 2 times I used it unfortunately not so much the 3rd time

I'm currently - thanks to an understanding gp- on noriday continually which is meaning I'm not having periods at all which is by far the best option - they are NOT a necessity!

Sort of off topic but not as women really struggle to be taken seriously by hcps on all matters so she needs to do this.

Work on her confidence and assertiveness too, even do some online training it's an essential skill for life really

@aidelmaidel She’s taking co-codamol (paracetamol and codeine) which the pharmacist recommended. DD has definitely shown a few signs of anemia- she’ll often have dizzy spells and have to sit down because she’s scared of fainting again. DD loves telling me how periods aren’t necessary and how much she doesn’t want them anymore, but if she’s in this much pain (and it’s not just on her period either) then I don’t blame her. I’m working with her on building her confidence and before her next appointment I’ll get her to write down everything she wants to say- hopefully that way she’ll get her point across.

Gosh this was me too. Days off school & as PP say, if I didn't take painkillers before the pain started that was it - writhing in bed in agony & vomiting. Horrendous. The pill finally solved it for me but in hindsight - mid 90s - can't believe it wasn't taken more seriously by GP.
As all PP have said, please please keep pushing to get it resolved. It is not normal.
@EdithHope if your daughter doesn't want a break, she doesn't have to have one. There's been a lot of updated advice in the past few years and it's perfectly safe to take the pill continuously - maybe double check with your GP first that it applies to the pill she's on but I would bet she'd be fine to go without a break if she doesn't want to www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46952694
Apparently - depending on what you read - the design of the pill with the 7 day break & bleed has an interesting history www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jan/23/medical-advice-pill-pope-bleeds-women

You should also get her a consult for the Mirena (hormonal) IUD or whatever the equivalent U.K. brand is. I went on it in part for bad periods in my early twenties and it stopped my periods altogether. No more pain or bleeding whatsoever. Some doctors are out of date and claim women who've never had children can't get IUDs but this is false, and hopefully you can find a doctor to place it.

Poor girl. This was me, the writhing, the vomiting. I absolutely did plan my life around it. Just because those symptoms are accompanied by a normal biological function doesn’t mean that they are normal.
I went on the pill and it coincided with massive mental health issues in my late teens. I came off of the pill in my early twenties and my mental health massively improved, my periods were ok for a while but they gradually got worse again. Then I got pregnant and bf and I’m now late twenties and they’ve returned again.

I’m now a grown woman who has gone through labour and I think it’s disgraceful that young women (children!) are being gaslighted into believing that this pain is normal or that the only treatment is to blast their bodies with hormones until their symptoms are suitably masked. No wonder so many teenage girls have mental health problems.

Our DD has the exact same symptoms as yours and has just finished y11. We are very lucky that we had a telephone GP appointment a couple of weeks ago and the GP has referred her to see a gynaecologist. The GP was female and very sympathetic. GP prescribed the combined pill which DD started this week. DDs symptoms (pain, sickness, fainting) have usually been day before & first few days of period but now she is experiencing cramps at random times throughout the month. Her periods are usually heavy the first day but not as much the remainder. Good luck and do please persist with your GP. My daughter is so unhappy and down each month it's really really affecting her now.

I used to miss my uni and work because of it. I went on cerezette and now the injection.
It completely stopped them.

@mummabear74 DD is very similar to your daughter it seems and often complains about stomachache/pain throughout the month. DD wanted to speak to a female hcp which is understandable but she received little sympathy and was effectively fobbed off, from what has been described about the pill. DD is just so angry and frustrated now at home that I dread to think what she was like at school. Has anyone else’s DD (or themselves) experiences hot flushes before or during their period? DD does suffer with those, but I thought it was a symptom of menopause?

Yep. You can get all the symptoms of the menopause if your estrogen levels are too low compared with your progesterone.

Poor girl! I was the same at her age. My mum was always telling me to tough it out and go hiking or whatever and I would be writhing around in pain. Anyway, that's a whole other story - my cramps and migraine got better finally when I went on the pill. Using a menstrual cup has also lessened my cramps/pain dramatically - although I didn't start with that until I was about 30, by which time my periods were nowhere near as bad. Good luck!