13 yr old & bedtimes

[Monstermissy36]

Just looking for some opinions on bedtimes.... ds is 13 and going into year 9.

On a weekday he has to turn computers off at 10pm and then his phone at 10.30pm, he has to leave all his devices with me overnight including his tv remote. Weekends everything has to be off and with me at midnight. (Earlier on school nights but atm I'm just after summer hols comparisons)

He complains about this quite a bit and especially not being able to have his phone overnight. It's causing stress and bad feeling late at night.

I don't like to go to bed and leave him with his devices etc as he'd be on them all night but I don't want to be up late either or make him hand his stuff over too early.

His friends all seem to be up all night and asleep all day and tell him the rules here are crap 🙄 (I've told him countless times I don't give a crap what his mates thinks of our rules)

What are your rules regarding holiday time bedtimes?? I just want to be able to go to bed at a good time without a nightly 'discussion' on house rules 🙄

I'm Knackered

I would say that your bedtime rules are very reasonable. Bedtime for mine at that age was 9 I think. More difficult when schooling is up in the air at the moment

I think they are reasonable bordering on a bit lax tbh... but it's a routine we have got into over lockdown.

I just wondered if others left theirs to it? I can't sit up till he's asleep but at least I know he's not on devices.

My DS is the same age as yours. We have no rules and he is on his Xbox til gone midnight most nights at mo. When school starts it will be Xbox off at 10.

@MySaladDays75

My DS is the same age as yours. We have no rules and he is on his Xbox til gone midnight most nights at mo. When school starts it will be Xbox off at 10.

Is he loud tho? I'm constantly telling ds to be quieter....

Do you go to bed and leave him to it?

my 13 yr old hand me his ipad and phone at 11pm . on school nights it will be 9.30 - 10 .
I also turn internet off at 11 pm weekdays as i have 15 yr old .

My son is the same age. We have a no screens in bedrooms rule (adults too), so he’s never quibbled yet. He puts his phone away about 9 (but carries on checking it till he goes to bed). Stops any gaming about 7.
There was a child in his class in year 6 who regularly used to miss days of school because he’d been on the x-box all night and couldn’t get out of bed, and DS found that so shocking that he’s ended up v compliant with our limitations.
Maybe we’re a bit over-harsh though.

I would turn the WiFi off but my older ds uses it, hes 18 so sorts himself...

I don't like to go to sleep without him being 'settled' but staying awake till late is making me knackered and grumpy.

So looking forward to school getting back....

I would turn the WiFi off but my older ds uses it, hes 18 so sorts himself...

I don't like to go to sleep without him being 'settled' but staying awake till late is making me knackered and grumpy.

So looking forward to school getting back....

MonsterMissy - he is very loud and and very sweary! I am constantly telling him to pipe down. But given the fact that he has seen friends in person about 3 x since midMarch I let him do it, and leave DH to read the riot act gone midnight. I also wear earplugs to sleep.

Gaming and phones finish at 10pm at the latest and bed by 11pm. Lockdown has messed with his body clock and once back at school it'll be everything off at 9, lights out by 10, no discussion.

Yeah I think bedtime is all out of sync atm and maybe I should chill out about it... it's his main way of hanging out with his mates.

Once school is back it will be back to better times etc.... I still won't be allowing him to have his devices all night tho!

He listens to music on Alexa after bedtime and that is fine, I'll let him keep this up and get myself some ear plugs.... it's like gremlins here after midnight they wander about and up and down to the loo... then the big un starts making food 🤦🏼‍♀️

Think I need to shit my door and ignore them 😂

Shut my door even.... don't want to shit on it (is that even possible?)

At that age screens off at 8pm, bedtime at 9.30. sneaky reading until 10.
DS is now almost 15, holiday bedtime at 11(ish). no screens after lamps off. And he keeps to this even though I never had to take away any of his devices.

Dd12 is anytime at the moment.....as long as she's not noisy! Once it's school nights it's phone to me at 9pm and lights off at 9.30pm.
Dd16 up to her ..... she's a young adult now so goes to sleep when she's ready!

Before lock down I used to say bed at 9 pm for 13 year old Year 9 child. Now it has moved to 10pm as not having to be up at 7 am.

In September if child back to school it will probably be 9.30 pm as changing school and will have to leave home at 8.10am so be up by 7am.

My husband has set internet so D's device falls out of zone got broadband at 9pm. He is good at ICT though. I don't know how to do this. No argument about coming off of device as it stops working automatically at 9. He just puts it down without comment. He does not game though on X box or playstation, but plays chess online against opponent on his iPad and tried to get onto a leaderboard.

11 & 12 year old and devices are off and out of their room at 10pm. They are then free to read, draw whatever they want as long as its in their room and quiet. I think it was 9.30 when it was a school night but that seems so long ago that I can't remember!

I just don't think he has the ability to self regulate....

I woke up at 2.30am this morning as he'd been to the loo and when I got up he was playing Xbox with friends 🤦🏼‍♀️ he'd snuck his remote and phone out of my room. I'm fuming with his sneakiness!

It's ruining my sleep trying to monitor him and he's a grumpy arse when he's had no sleep.

We have a pretty relaxed house rules wise... this is the one thing causing so many issues. He thinks I'm really strict which is laughable really.

Thank you for your comments it really is a mixed bag isn't it....

Just adding my tuppenceworth. DS turned 13 during lockdown. He is off xbox around 10pm, phone downstairs to charge and then he mooches about before bed around 10.30pm. It will probably slip a bit over the next few weeks but I will wind it back to this when he is back to school in August.

Some of his friends' bedtimes are so late and have been for years. I'm a stickler for sleep hygiene though.

DS until this week was off screens at 9. In bed at 10 but can read as long as he likes.

We've just moved that to screens off at 10 for summer hols.

At the weekend he can stay on a bit later but it's usually no later than 11.

We are all quite early to bed people!

I think your rules are fine tbh. Usually I'm on these threads wondering WTF but you are setting reasonable and realistic boundaries for your 13 yo. I would ignore any pleas to change it. It's perfectly fine.

Your rules sound absolutely fine. If they are unable to self regulate then your rules.

When my 11 YO DSS stays we have a phone down stairs charging rule.

I am amazed that his fellow Y6 classmates are texting (actually they aren’t texting, they are just sending single emoji after emoji message, basically rubbish) in the early hours.

How parents think it’s ok for a 11 YO child to be on their phone at 1am on a school night is beyond me.

9pm weekdays in my house, and 10pm Friday & Saturday.

All devices are downstairs on charge overnight. No exceptions. If it applies to adults and children, then the children don't see it as unfair.

It wasn't beyond my US boss to 'forget' and ring at midnight, so I've always been perfectly happy with the arrangement.