Teenage Boys

[Everyonesbuck]

Anyone else blessed with teen boys like mine!!

Some Interesting Facts about #lockdown Teenage Boys

1. Teenage boys are nocturnal, meaning they come out at night. Most of their day is spent sleeping in a room without fresh air and daylight.

1. If you find them out during the day, dazed and wandering, don’t panic they’ll be in search of food.

1. Upon waking, they emit very loud sounds as if trying to raise the dead, signalling to their Mother they are awake and hungry.

1. The metabolism of a teenage boy is enviable; they can eat their body weight in food within a matter of minutes without so much as gaining an ounce - hungry again in less than an hour.

1. Will relentlessly forage for food late evening through to early morning.

1. Teenage boys tend to prey on younger brothers when bored or hungry.

1. Teenage boys are not keen on communicating during the hours of ‘civilisation’. They are more commonly known to wait until everyone is asleep before slamming doors and making loud noises, in turn waking everyone up and seizing the moment to recite the weird dream they had.

1. When teenage boys invade the kitchen, they make an almighty mess, eating their sibling’s food and leaving empty boxes in cupboards masquerading as food.

1. Regardless of ‘house rules’ teenage boys tend to be immune to them.

10. They use electric light at night to find food, consequently, they have a habit of leaving the lights on as they retreat to their bedrooms.

11. Teenage boys are farsighted meaning they can’t see things close to their eyes i.e. wet towels on floor or the 'missing' mugs, plates and glasses they allegedly don’t have collecting in their bedroom!

12. Clear vocal speech generally not used. See facial expressions for clue ie. frowning, eyes skyward otherwise seek the help of another teenager for translation.

Mine is a unique breed

He gets up at 7.30 and is asleep by 10pm

The rest is true , foraging for food, bowls , glasses and plates are all to be found in his room , he gives me his dirty washing on a weekly basis , the rest of the time it lives in a corner of his room

If he's gaming or plugged into you tube I am not allowed to speak to him but if I pick up a book and a glass of wine suddenly I must listen to a 20 minute discussion about anything from the news, to the latest trend in tiktok videos

Yeah mine are nothing like the OP.

I have the female equivalent @Everyonesbuck Only differences being she has no siblings and is very vocal 😂🤦‍♀️🏠

My ds has breakfast at 3 pm.
He is doing the night shift on his xbox.

Can’t get dressed, leave house or take exercise...

14 year old son pretty similar here!

My very-nearly 13 yo is a lot like the one you describe, OP. It's reassuring as he's my eldest and all of a sudden appears to have hit puberty at a million miles per hour!
He rarely comes out of his bedroom and appears to have an aversion to sunlight! He has to be constantly nagged to have a shower and is somewhat stinky!!!

I'm also 38 weeks' pregnant so will shortly have the joys of a teenage son, a 10 year-old son and a newborn baby daughter - all during lockdown and with my OH as a key worker!

My son is like this absolutely

Mine's not nocturnal, never has been, he's up as usual 6.30am to 10pm but is foraging. He's good about turning lights off though.

Nothing like the description and I have two teenage boys.

They are up voluntarily at 7am during lockdown (alarm set by them) and about 7.30-8am on a weekend naturally waking. They do not leave wet towels on the floor or a mess in the kitchen because they have been taught to tidy up after themselves. They empty the dishwasher, strip their beds for washing etc.

They communicate effectively, are loving and caring about all family members, they do not eat food in their bedrooms, ever. We have family meals.

They do consume snacks but roughly the same time daily and they do not go through a huge amount. Maybe mine are broken

Thank you for explaining what nocturnal and farsighted means

Mine is 15.

He's been up for a while, on his gaming PC, but up.

He is always eating. Or chewing.

He can make a mess around his gaming desk, and used to be better at putting towels and clothes away, but not too bad.

I do manage to have brief chats with him, usually around meal times.

Baths seem to have become an activity for when going out or when pushed.

I call him Kevin when he's on full on teenage communication mode.
He calls me Boomer.

😂 at this thread. So true! But! My youngest is 20 and still the same!

Mine likes a lie in but is not nocturnal. I think that's solely on the basis I will only cook at 'normal' times.

Mine is 15 and gets up 9am sits in bed couple hours on his iPhone 7. Bed 2_am.Not too bad.Definitely
always hungry.Goes round the house looking bored and lanky. Finally makes his own lunch since lockdown yeh!

Forgot to add ds is always leaving lights on.Regardless of time of day lol.

I’m a bit stricter so there’s none of that nocturnal nonsense but the rest is fairly true.

I especially find that towels are ornamental floor coverings and the teenage boy prefers walking through the house stark bollock naked and dripping wet

Mine do wear pants or a towel, thank god.

They are a bit messy, and might be nearly nocturnal at the moment but they are both good natured, loving and caring.

They can cook, clean and do washing as well so all is not lost for the future, even if there isn't masses of evidence of these skills right now...

Shopping once a week has been an interesting logistical challenge though

I remember being about 16 and waking up to see 5.30 on my watch and thinking 'FFS so early but I feel wide awake'.

Went downstairs to discover it was 5.30pm...

My ds is not like this at all.
This weekend he has done some decorating, last weekend gardening.
He eats a little more than when he was younger but at normal times.
He is addicted to screens but will come off them easily when asked and def when asked to do a specific thing.
I started work early this morning, so he hung out the laundry when the washing machine finished. And then made me a cup of tea before settling to his school work. He emptied the bins during a break from schoolwork.

He felt tired this morning when he got up at 8am, so he declared he needs to be in bed early tonight.
He never gets a sense of needing to wash, or even brush his teeth, but with prompting will shower and put clean clothes on.

He gives the best hugs ever and always asks with sincerity, how I am. He can be irritable with his siblings but if one of them is upset, he goes into full on protective brother mode.

He has a cracking sense of humour, and enjoys a good dance around the kitchen with his definitely not cool mother.

He wasn't always so easy. As a baby and toddler he was so so hard to manage. We were the mum and toddler that other mums groaned about when we walked through the door to toddler groups.
He has been much harder to parent than his siblings, but its paying off. I can see a fine young man emerging who will be a valuable member of society.

I do not recognise the op in my son at all. Just like us mothers, I guess teenage boys are all different too.

My DD is another female equivalent. I saw evidence that she was baking overnight, flour on the counter and also heard her chatting to friends at an ungodly hour.

Serves her right that she had an 8 a.m. online lesson, although she went right back to sleep afterwards.

That’s very funny. Definitely can’t relate to all of it in this house .

Although the near sightedness and foraging for food rings clear 😆

I have 2 female equivalents, only neither of mine are teenagers!
The 20 year old has dinner for breakfast (having woken up when I shout her for food)
The 10 year old isn't quite nocturnal but only enforce bedtime and getting up time during the week (different times to normal school days, get up at 9am and bed at 10/11 pm)
The mess, food and non-communication all sound amazingly accurate though :)

Mine is:
a nightowl - up around 12 pm - 12 am.
has to be "encouraged a lot" to have a shower
has no interest in getting dressed or going out
would spend all day on screens, if allowed
is not too bothered about eating
is also "farsighted"
He is also polite and will make me a cup of tea and do the little jobs I ask him to do. He can also be very helpful and caring and he also gives great hugs.

My soon to be 16 Year old is exactly like this and only appears to "like" us when he wants something. My 14 year
old on the other hand couldn't be more different