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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What time does your 14 year old go to bed?

68 replies

Mintychoc1 · 30/04/2020 22:28

As in, lights out, phone away? At the moment (so sort of term time in that they have school work to do, but not term time in that they’re not having to be up and our early)

Thanks

OP posts:
DoorbellsSleighbellsSchnitzel · 01/05/2020 00:03

DS is 13. Goes to bed around 10 when things are normal. Around 1030-11 at the moment though.

Rollergirl11 · 01/05/2020 22:40

14yr old DD probs going to bed around 11.30 at the moment and wakes at 8.30 to be at her desk working for 9.30. Weekends I have no idea what time, she is allowed her phone then so probs 1 to 2am.
When school is on bed for 10.30 pm and up at 7am.

8-8.30 is really really early!

AlexaShutUp · 01/05/2020 22:49

14yos have bedtimes?!

My dd just goes to bed when she's tired. She went at 10ish tonight, but it could be any time up to midnight. She usually gets up at 8-9ish.

Bunnybigears · 01/05/2020 22:53

13 year old goes at 10 normally and during the week now, but at weekends now it's more like 11/11:30.

Duvetdweller · 01/05/2020 22:57

Mine self manage, especially at the moment. 14 yo goes probably midnight, 12 yo probably 1/2? I go at 10pm. They're doing everything for school and me and their dad are working 24/7 trying to save our business so we need to trust them

Lougle · 01/05/2020 23:07

Around 8.30, lights out by 9. She's exhausted by then (SN). 12 yo DD2 has started to want a later bed time, though.

Aramox · 01/05/2020 23:09

10ish in termtime. 11ish now. After us these days at weekends:(

ReluctantHillCrester · 02/05/2020 11:05

Lockdown time, he is year 9, goes up to bed about 9.15 then reads for a bit so lights out 9.40pm latest. But he is up at 7am voluntarily and into the shower, the straight onto school work after breakfast.

On a school day when school is on, up to bed at 9pm and up at 6.20am and straight into the shower.

Sleep is a subjective issue. Ds1 used to go to bed at the same time as Ds2 despite being 3 years older because he needed more sleep. So yes Ds1 who is 17 goes to bed about 9.15pm and wakes at 7am at the minute.

Even on weekends 8am would be a lie in. They are morning people.

mamaduckbone · 06/05/2020 22:53

10 usually but more often 10.30 at the moment as he's getting up later than when he's at school. Phone isn't in his room but he is listening to audio books to help him sleep so it's often later when he actually goes to sleep.

Hunnybears · 06/05/2020 23:02

Following this to show my nearly 11 year old!!!! She goes up at 9pm and light out at 10.

I feel it’s too late however..... she is a little night owl and is always full of energy the next day so it’s hard for me to argue the toss really. She’s up at 7.15-8 for school (depending whether I’m working)

She’s also doing fantastic at school so it’s not like I can use that as leverage. I suppose some people don’t need as much sleep.

My 7 year old has about 11.5 hours!

Hunnybears · 06/05/2020 23:02

I mean nearly 12 year old not nearly 11!!!!

FelicityFlockheart · 06/05/2020 23:55

@AlexaShutUp of course 14 year olds have bedtimes - it's called basic parenting. Unless you're happy for them to roam around the internet unsupervised in the early hours whilst you sleep?

My youngest is 13 and all devices removed at 9pm usually and bedtime at 10. Right now, this is stretched to about 10.30 ish.

FelicityFlockheart · 06/05/2020 23:56

Christ and now I've spotted the posted letting her 12 year old go to bed at 2am. Talk about shit parenting

didireallysaythat · 07/05/2020 00:02

Sometime between midnight and 2am so I'm another shit parent.

DS1 is up by 11am for live lessons.

Not ideal but we're WFH and I don't need the angst, and as long as the work gets done his teachers don't care if the lesson is done at 10am or 10pm. However the PE burpee challenge at 10:30pm was noisy.

Badhairday101 · 07/05/2020 00:05

Around 11pm at the moment on a ‘school’ day. 10pm usually when school is actually on as he needs to be up earlier.
Weekends I take his phone off him at around 11 but he can stay up until whatever time he likes.

AlexaShutUp · 07/05/2020 00:39

AlexaShutUp of course 14 year olds have bedtimes - it's called basic parenting.

Fair enough. My idea of basic parenting has more to do with teaching dc how to self regulate, rather than controlling their every move, but each to their own. Personally, I'd be a bit concerned by 14 if they weren't able to regulate their own sleep habits reasonably well. It's basic self care, surely?

ExpletiveDelighted · 07/05/2020 10:50

Mine don't have bedtimes, they don't roam around on the internet in the small hours either. They go when they are tired which is usually between 10 and 11. Occasionally if they show no signs of going up by about 11.30 I might say "go on, bedtime" but that's all. They don't take tech into their rooms. They really don't need their bedtimes parenting.

FelicityFlockheart · 07/05/2020 20:12

@ExpletiveDelighted well they do need bedtimes parenting by your own admission that it comes to 11.30 and you tell them to go to bed ...

FelicityFlockheart · 07/05/2020 20:14

@AlexaShutUp you possibly have a different kind of child to mine! He's 13 and 'self regulating' would mean coke with every meal and a 1am bedtime with his tech glued to him I'm sure. He's not even confrontational or 'naughty' - but he appreciates (deep down) being parented, and for me, that's ensuring he goes to bed at a reasonable time and doesn't become nocturnal.

Sgtmajormummy · 07/05/2020 20:17

9.30 for 6.45 wake up and school at 8.00. (Those were the days!)
Now it’s 10.30 for 7:30 wake up and online lessons at 9.00

ExpletiveDelighted · 07/05/2020 20:19

Once in a blue moon. No fuss, no bother, just a comment as I want to go to bed myself and prefer that they go up then too.

roking · 14/05/2020 20:47

My DD is 13 and doesn't have a bedtime. She goes when she's tired.

I do know that she's normally still in FaceTime at 10/10.30 to her friends do they must not be in
bed at that time either

9 times out of 10 I'm sleeping before her

KarenHudsonOfficial · 15/05/2020 01:12

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spaghettios · 16/05/2020 06:47

No set bedtime. I have no idea what time she goes to bed. Could be 4am for all I know. I’ve never had to drag her out of bed in the morning, ever.

I imagine she would be WTF if I said it was bedtime at 8pm 😂😂😂😂. My 10yo doesn’t even go to bed until 9pm 😂😂

Saisong · 16/05/2020 07:01

Well I guess I'm a mean mum but my two aged 10 and 13 start bedtime at 8.30. And by 8pm if they are having a bath. The youngest has lights out at 9, the 13yo turns her own light out, but is usually by 9.30. All screens are off at 8pm (including tv) and left downstairs. At weekends it is more relaxed and we will often watch a film together until 9pm.
We are sticking to this through lockdown so they keep a good routine. Both have always been good sleepers, and I think it's healthy to encourage this. They do lots of physical activity every day too.

Sounds like maybe I need to relax things a bit more for the 13yo?