Yes I know that sounds strong and I know I'm probably going to be slated. He is 12 nearly 13 and has been difficult for the last 3 years. He started school refusing in year 6, we got the GP involved and were referred to a parenting course which I started but couldn't continue cause of childcare. There was some low level bullying at school which we dealt with. He then started High School and was ok to start with, then started school refusing cause of anxiety over Drama lessons, again we liaised with school. He also had issues with constipation and we dealt with that through the GP and hospital. Things settled down but have been turbulent at time, he is passionate about football and has had two injuries, including a fracture in October; he had to have an MRI scan cause there was a shadow, we paid to have it done privately and all was fine. He had recently had another injury (muscular, have chased appointments up and recovery should be a couple of weeks. Reading this back I know it is obvious that he has been through a lot, but bloody hell so have we. All the time (as parents should) we have tried to sort things out, fix them, I ended up on ADs last year because of anxiety about his school refusal (have told him this tonight as I feel that he needs to know what he has done). The issue is that he is nasty, rude, entitled and lazy. My DH and I bend over backwards for him whilst trying to maintain boundaries. He thinks he is expected to do what we want all the time, but the reality is gets a lot of leaway and no pressure about schoolwork or anything. Tonight he had an options evening at school (he is year 8) and he refused to go cause he says he knows what he wants to do. I ended up going on my own, walking 20 mins there and back in the rain, I have been ill all week. As it was, the way they are doing everything has changed so good that I went. I tried to talk to him sensibly about not wanting to go and what he might be worried about. All the time I am trying to improve the atmosphere in our house as I grew up in quite a tense household and tbh had a far worse time at school than my Son. I didn't want problems when his Dad got home from work, so tried to resolve things, failed, he kicked off and I ended up getting very angry back. I told him that his behaviour was ruining our family life and me and his Dad's marriage (we have no time or closeness and constant stress, partly from other sources but mainly cause of him). We have another Son show is 10 who is difficult on occasion but not at the same level. Whilst I was out he told his Dad that I was putting pressure on him about his options, all because I have said in the past that I think it might be good for him to do Spanish cause he is good at it and because I suggested media studies (not an option anyway).I don't mind what he does and have told him that several times, have just said I want him to do things that he is interested in. He is clever and unfortunately very manipulative. He also told the GP (when he went for an appointment) that we put pressure on him about school attendance, I just don't want another letter about attendance. I've just (obviously) had enough right now, he has caused so much stress and upset and he is only 12. He is never ashamed of bad behaviour, doesn't seem to have a conscience, thinks he is right all the time, can be quite arrogant. I wasn't allowed to get away with much at all when I was a kid and my instinct is to always blame myself for everything, the opposite of his. I'm just at the end of my tether with family life at the moment. We don't have any family nearby, although my Sister is very supportive on the phone. I'm prepared to be slated and told that I should be prepared to sacrifice my life and well being completely.