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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Bag left behind in shop

50 replies

hhsa · 29/12/2019 16:39

Went shopping today and 16 year old bought 2 tops for £36 from topman. Went in JD sports and he left the bag there. Came home and realised. So upset should have held the bag myself. Rang jd sports they saying no bag handed in. How can I let it go??? Always hold shopping myself but today thought its hus shopping and he can hold it.

OP posts:
HouseOfGoldandBones · 29/12/2019 16:56

I'm not sure what you mean about should you let it go?

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 16:58

I mean I'm sad about it and feeling guilty. Not used to monetary loss..... should I just forget about it. It's only £36

OP posts:
Primrosepenny · 29/12/2019 16:58

Surely it’s his loss? If he paid for the tops then it’s his money he’s lost or if you paid for them, maybe he could give you the money back/give half towards the money lost? These things happen, it was just a mistake. I’m sure he’s as mad as you arev

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 16:58

Also would someone just walk out with a bag that doesnt belong to them.

OP posts:
gh621 · 29/12/2019 16:59

You’ll have to let it go, what else can you do?
Did you pay for the tops or the 16 year old? If you, perhaps he should pay you back to try and learn a lesson?
You can’t always be there to hold their bags, he’s 16 he should be old enough to not leave things behind

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:00

I paid for them. He should have handed the bag to me instead he put it on the floor to try some shoes in. And left the shop without it. How can someone just walk out with the bag within an hour.

OP posts:
gh621 · 29/12/2019 17:00

“ Also would someone just walk out with a bag that doesnt belong to them.”

Yes definitely, some people would hand it in, others would definitely take it

TheWinterCaillech · 29/12/2019 17:02

In the majority of cases, yes, people will regard unattended bags as a potential windfall and walk out with them.
It’s a learning point for your teen.

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:03

Will call jd again in the morning. Maybe the person I spoke to didnt bother asking all the staff or checked properly.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 29/12/2019 17:04

Yes, unfortunately one of life’s lessons. He probably won’t do it again.

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:06

I suppose I'm just kicking myself for getting him to hold the bag. I suppose we learn from mistakes. And he will be careful next time.

OP posts:
rededucator · 29/12/2019 17:07

At 16 he can legally marry and father children. He should be old enough and responsible enough to hold a shopping bag. It may be useful to look at the bigger picture here as to why you feel you should have known he wasn't and feel like you should have carried it for him. I understand the loss must be very frustrating though.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 29/12/2019 17:08

Well, it's only £36 (although I realise that is a lot for many people).

It's a valuable lesson to have learned. He's 16, so not a little kid. Unless there are special needs, at 16 he really shouldn't need to have you looking out for him and should be able to be aware enough to take care of his own possessions.

I wouldn't make him pay you back but I also wouldn't replace the tops. He was given something (new tops) but he was careless and now he doesn't have it. That's the way of the world.

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:08

I'm just always careful when out and about. He says that i forgot about the bag. But I gave it to him to hold.

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 29/12/2019 17:09

It takes seconds to walk off with a bag...my best example, I work at a train station and a customer asked me to look after her suitcase whilst she shopped, i said no she needs to keep her suitcase with her....I was busy serving a queue of customers when she came over a couple of minutes later shouting where is her suitcase, she had left it at the side of the till , I had no idea I was busy serving and didnt realise she'd left it there....a check on cctv showed another person walking away with it literally 1 minute after she'd left it. Never saw it again!

Inanothertime · 29/12/2019 17:11

Does the anger/frustration come from the fact that some dishonest scragg has nicked your son's bag?

He should have carried it yes. Not you. Lesson learnt for him. Watch his things.
Bloody annoying for both of you.

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:11

I was actually thinking to go and buy the same tops again. Should I or should I just forget about them completely.

OP posts:
InkogKneeToe · 29/12/2019 17:13

He's 16. He's old enough to join the military and go to war. He is old enough to take responsibility for a carrier bag Hmm

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:13

Yes I think I'm more angry that someone nicked the bag.

OP posts:
doodleygirl · 29/12/2019 17:14

I think perhaps you should be working on your parenting if you have a 16 year old who has to have mummy hold his bags!

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:15

Is it stupid to ask jd sports to check their cctv

OP posts:
OhamIreally · 29/12/2019 17:16

I don't think you should buy the tops again. How will the lesson be learned otherwise?
Think of it as £36 to teach your son he needs to look after his things.

Original poster
hhsa · 29/12/2019 17:18

I think it's not really about the money now. More about his carelessness now......

OP posts:
DontMakeMeShushYou · 29/12/2019 17:18

I was actually thinking to go and buy the same tops again. Should I or should I just forget about them completely.

If he wants them and can pay for them, then yes. Otherwise no. Simply replacing the tops so it's like it never happened might make you feel better in the short term but it will teach him nothing.

christmasathome · 29/12/2019 17:18

My husband took our 10 year old shopping with her Christmas money only £25 so could have been worse but she has somehow lost the money. Thinks it came out while in changing rooms. Its not been handed in.

I see do many examples of people doing the right thing but unfortunately I think there is more chance of the wrong person doing the wrong thing.