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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Am I being unreasonable or is my mom?

59 replies

Daughter16 · 04/10/2019 14:57

Hey everyone, I’m a 17 year old girl here, and I’m not a mom, but I’m here just to hear some moms’ perspectives on an issue we are currently having at home.

So I’ll get started. Since September last year, I’ve been attending a college which is roughly 40 minutes away from our house. This year, my little sister (11) got into a selective school in the same town, and now we both get drove by our dad to school/college respectively.

Now that we’ve got the background, I’ll get straight to the problem- our morning routine:

We start by getting up somewhere between 6 and 6:30, which I feel is ok to get into school/college at 8:45 or so as we both need to. After that we brush our teeth as people normally do, but here’s the problem- instead of showering and getting ready for school/college after brushing, we then go downstairs in our pjs to have breakfast.

Just to make it clear, breakfast in our house doesn’t mean a croissant or a packet of belvita breakfast biscuits. It means toast and cereal, or an omelette, or a bowl full of porridge with fruit.

By the time we finish eating breakfast, it’s usually around 7:10 or so, after which we go in the bathroom one after the other to get ready.

My sister’s usually first in, and only takes around 10 minutes (as she has had to forgo showering in the mornings and showers after school instead.) So despite this, by the time she comes out, I get around 15 minutes on an average day to go to the toilet, shower and get ready for college.

Let alone getting time to put on makeup or try different hairstyles, I barely get a couple of minutes to dab a bit moisturiser on my my dry skin or put on lip balm.

Despite both me and my sister literally racing out the bathroom, putting on our clothes at break neck speed and running down the stairs to get out the door, we are often late or almost late to school/college.

I have tried to speak to my mum about this issue, but she always says we should just eat faster and be faster in the bathroom, but I personally find it impossible to eat 2 slices of toast and an apple, drink a mug full of tea, and THEN go to the toilet, shower and get ready in under half an hour 😭

If I persist my mom always says that this is the best routine as apparently we’ll need the toilet as soon as we get to school if we eat after getting ready. If I suggest having a smaller breakfast so that doesn’t happen (like a packet of Belvita each or a croissant or something), she insists it won’t be enough.

Basically, however I approach the topic or whatever I suggest, there’s always a reason why this the best way to do things despite it being very inconvenient for so many reasons.

What I wanted to know is if there is a good way I could solve this issue without upsetting my mom?

And is it actually unreasonable of me as a child, from moms’ point of view to ask to change the morning routine?

Sorry if the post was too long btw, I just wanted to make it detailed so you can get a good idea of what’s going on!

OP posts:
Redwinestillfine · 09/10/2019 18:47

Shower the night before. Why do you need to do it in the morning? Then you can put your face on before breakfast. Easy.

Lunafortheloveogod · 09/10/2019 18:49

Shower the night before?
Go for a shower while breakfast is cooking?
Shower at night?
Make up in the car?
Slow cooker porridge so it doesn’t take ages?

I’m still stuck at how breakfast takes an hour. You could even take your apple with you, or your tea n toast upstairs to get ready if you’d already showered.

AutumnCrow · 09/10/2019 18:54

Shower in the car
Brush your omelette the night before

ClumpingKate · 09/10/2019 19:04

My DDs do alternate - one eats while the other showers and then the one who showered comes for breakfast while the first one showers. Then they both do a quick wee and brush their teeth before they go.

MyDcAreMarvel · 09/10/2019 19:38

No peach it’s a minimum of anhour which many people don’t have before leaving the house so you should brush before.

peachgreen · 09/10/2019 21:32

Well there you go, you're never too old to learn new things! How interesting.

LoveGrowsWhere · 10/10/2019 09:45

If there is only one bathroom in the house it's not practical to try to all eat breakfast at the same time. 6.30am - 7.10am is a long time to eat cereal & toast. If I was the mum I would be saying no phones until standing by the front door ready to leave. Wink

CapturedFairy · 11/10/2019 12:03

You haven't said what time you need to leave the house.

I have 2 sons, one at sixth form and one at school. The youngest gets up at 6.20 and gets into bed with me & Dh and we watch a news program on the laptop. Ds1 who is 16 gets up at 6.30 and goes straight into the shower. Ds2 goes in as soon as he comes out. They sort their own breakfasts out and it can be porridge/omelettes etc.

They both then have some leisure time, and leave the house at 8.05 at the latest. They like a relaxed leisurely morning.

The reason for teeth brushing before breakfast is meant to remove any plaque/dental biofilm that has built up over night and that food sticks to. However my children do not like orange juice when they have just brushed their teeth so they do it a while after breakfast instead.

Does your Mum make your breakfast or do you make your own? I would suggest either getting up earlier, or alternating days when one of you is in the shower and the other is eating breakfast.

CapturedFairy · 11/10/2019 12:05

I meant to add, it is weird that your Mom is so involved in when you decide to go to the toilet or get ready. Why is she so unwilling to try your way? In our house it is a democracy and we listen to the children. We have family meetings to make sure everyone is happy with everything.

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