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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Is it alright for my teenage sons to only wear shorts in front of us?

155 replies

Lisa2019GB · 03/10/2019 21:02

Hi all. I have two sons in their late teens. In the evening after they come home and shower they will watch TV in the living room with just their shorts on - no socks or t-shirt. Sometimes they will fall asleep and I throw a blanket over them. I never thought anything of it, why should I? Anyhow, a friend of mine was visiting recently and commented about it, saying that they should be fully clothed in the house and it's not normal behavior.

My husband doesn't have an issue with it either, he simply says we are family so it doesn't matter it's not like they are naked, but I wanted to get some outside opinions about it from other parents out there as I don't really see the issue personally.

I have have a close relationship with my boys and wouldn't want to make things unnecessarily awkward.

All views appreciated!

Thank you :)

OP posts:
Rachelover60 · 03/10/2019 22:53

Your boys sound quite normal to me, Lisa.

They ought to put a bit more on if you are having visitors, it's respectful, but when the family is at home with no guests they can do what they like. Sometimes people call unexpectedly though, you can't do much about that.

I think your friend was wrong to say what she said to you.

username198817 · 03/10/2019 22:54

@Rubicon80 And what was it that attracted you to post this on Mumsnet tonight, never having posted on the site before, not even once, during your many years of parenting?

The same thing that probably attracted you to post on Mumsnet for the first time. Wind your neck in...

Original poster
Lisa2019GB · 03/10/2019 22:55

@Rubicon80 So essentially what you're saying is that anyone who posts for the first time on here is automatically a troll? Assuming you are accusing me because I haven't posted on here previously about my children and/or the nature of my post? Even though I haven't put anything remotely sexual or inappropriate, which is obviously what you are hinting at. I came here for genuine advice and thankfully to the rest have received genuine advice. Unfortunately there are people who have to ruin it.

OP posts:
Rubicon80 · 03/10/2019 22:57

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Rubicon80 · 03/10/2019 22:58

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ReanimatedSGB · 03/10/2019 23:00

Your friend has hangups, tell her to keep them to herself. While it might be a bit more polite to put a top on if you are expecting guests, people who just drop in can take you as they find you or go and fuck themselves.

ilovetofu · 03/10/2019 23:01

Oh bore off @Rubicon80

Isitnearlyweekend · 03/10/2019 23:02

Your friend clearly has issues. I ha e a 19 year old boy and would have no issue with this. Tell your friend to keep her silly opinions to herself.

Original poster
Lisa2019GB · 03/10/2019 23:04

@Rubicon80 I don't take lectures from someone who invents accusations.

ask other people to share stories about their children being undressed = I do not recall asking anything about other people's children. I gave my problem and asked whether it was normal. That isn't soliciting for "stories about their children being undressed". The fact that such a dark insinuation comes to your mind, is in itself concerning.

The fact is that nothing here is remotely inappropriate and I only asked for advice exclusive to the situation I described, not stories or details about other kids - which is again what you are accusing me of.

This is my last response to you. I appreciate the genuine response I've received and do not want to keep littering the thread with your nonsense. If you have a problem, take it up with the moderator please.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisa2019GB · 03/10/2019 23:09

@Isitnearlyweekend Yeah I do feel quite silly about it now, but you know how it is when someone passes judgement on you, it makes you question it regardless. I do feel reassured though but in future if I know someone is coming round I will defo be asking them to be fully clothed.

OP posts:
snowbear66 · 03/10/2019 23:18

Not weird at all.

Original poster
Lisa2019GB · 03/10/2019 23:25

@onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Be grateful that your boys are so close that they can hang out together in such a lovely way. I long for that for my boys who can barely speak to one another.
Take no notice of your friend - she is a fool.

I am very thankful for that, as my brother's kids are exactly the same as yours. But there is a 7 year age gap between them and I think that is a big part of sibling rivalries. Because my boys are close in age they have a lot more in common and have grown up at the same time which helps a lot.

OP posts:
onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 04/10/2019 06:06

Because my boys are close in age they have a lot more in common and have grown up at the same time which helps a lot

Mine too Lisa only 2 years between them and they grew up very closely. They are 19 and 21 now - maybe it'll change as they get older. They don't argue or anything and they love one other they just don't have much to do with one another. I find it sad.

Fishcakey · 04/10/2019 06:36

It's normal! DH and DS (14) are always in shorts and nothing else at home. It never occurred to me it was considered weird by other people!

00100001 · 04/10/2019 06:56

@rubicon

Settle down love.

Who made you the thread police??

00100001 · 04/10/2019 06:57

@rubicon80 ^

vickibee · 04/10/2019 07:00

Very normal in our house. My 12 yo son is asd and has sensory issues with clothing, he lolls around in just his boxer shorts. As soon as he gets home from school he takes his uniform off and spends the rest of the evening in boxers!
Think your friend must have nothing better to worry about

AmIThough · 04/10/2019 07:01

My DP spends 95% of his time in only his boxers.
He did it when he lived with his parents too.

Occasionally they'd have a visitor and he'd put clothes on if his mom nagged.
He always puts clothes on if we have visitors.
If someone walked into the room where he was and moaned about his state of undress we'd let them know they're being ridiculous.

It's their home and they're allowed to dress how they're most comfortable.

Fozzleyplum · 04/10/2019 07:05

Maybe we're weird in this house, but I have no problem with teenage DSs walking around naked to and from the shower, or when getting dressed. However, when they are eating or are in the sitting room, we insist they have a top on.

TryingAndFailing39 · 04/10/2019 07:05

How ridiculous of your friend! My teenagers are often just in their pj bottoms

tigger1001 · 04/10/2019 08:22

My teenager loves to lounge around in his boxers when at home. His usual choice of clothes any other time is t-shirt and shorts. So I would say your friend is ott.

I do ask him to put on his dressing gown if we have visitors and in all honesty he wouldn't be comfortable if we had visitors and he wasn't covered so that wouldn't be a concern, but I sounded like your visitor went to see them to say hi - so were they in a different room and she seeked them out?

This thread has made me laugh with all the assumptions made. My favourite being that the house must be heated to greenhouse levels if teenagers are happy in just shorts. None of us in my house feel the cold easily. And my eldest would wear shorts outside in the dead of winter. It's not exactly breaking news that people feel temperature differently.

ReanimatedSGB · 04/10/2019 08:22

My DS would be starkers at home all summer if I let him (I do insist on pants at least, for hygiene).

PhilSwagielka · 04/10/2019 09:11

YANBU, it's their house.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 04/10/2019 09:14

The only thing I would say is I don't like men/boys sitting on a sofa with no top on if they are likely to sweat on it! Yuck!!

wheresmymojo · 04/10/2019 09:25

Maybe your friend grew up in a fairly formal household, so finds it awkward for that reason.

^ This. I grew up with a very formal household because DF is almost Victorian in his values. I've never seen him anything other than showered and fully dressed - never seen him in PJs or before he's had a shower in my entire life. Never seen him in jeans or a t-shirt.

Sadly it meant that home was never very relaxing. There were lots and lots of rules.

I'm the opposite now - love slobbing out in PJs but I still have slight hang ups - DH wanders around naked or in just his boxers (no DC) and I think that's weird (but suspect it's me with the issue so just laugh about it)