Bit of an odd one .... not sure what to make of it, thoughts please ?

[Flossiefoo]

I'll try and make this brief ..
15 1/2 yo dd has had a sort of bf for a couple of months
see each other rarely outside of school due to distance and we aren't facilitating the relationship for several reasons ie upcoming GCSE's, other committments etc
16yo bf lives with dad
bf seems quite emotionally needy and quite intense
bf's dad has messaged us recently tellin US that his son wants a long term relationship with our dd and that she does too !
Firstly dh is pretty cross another man is telling US what our dd wants, secondly it's only been a few months and dd is 15 !!!
What would you think ?

Will talk to dd and that will be an end to it. I am sure nothing sinister, just over enthusiasm on fathers part and he didn't think anything odd to message dd with a concern about the ds as he knew she'd be in touch with him. DD will never be in a position for us to worry but I get why some are thinking the potential here for something serious to be going on. You cannot be too careful afterall. I haven't noticed any previous messages or since, so I think it was just the one episode of messaging ... but obviously I check.

.. and thank you for some really helpful advice re dd !!

DD will never be in a position for us to worry

You can't possibly know that.
Maybe you're right this time but never?

DD will never be in a position for us to worry

What does that even mean?

Your dd will legally be old enough to have sex soon, so I think you need to focus on empowering her to speak for herself more. Don't think just because people see each other at school only that nothing can happen.

I may be way off base here, but I do sense that you are perhaps treating her as younger than she is and I wonder if DD has said something to her boyfriend about it, hence the message.

You do need to accept that she is growing up and your ability to control her, say 'end of' is going to grow increasingly limited, which is why you need to accept that she maybe does want a long term relationship with this boy. As I say, I may be way off here

Problems don't go away by just refusing to talk about them

Discussing her relationship won't make it any more or less legitimate.

How do you know she only sees him at school? Is she never allowed out or left home alone? Inwas perfectly capable of organising assignations at 14.

Maybe I’m wide of the mark but from your initial post I would be wondering why the BF father is telling you your daughter wants a relationship with his son. Why hasn’t she told you? Is she afraid of raising it with you?
I also don’t think it’s strange his father text your Dd. If he is concerned about his son then the likelihood is your Dd is closest to him and may be able to offer helpful and immediate insight.