My DS (17) is one of the laziest people on the planet, i'm sure. When he was 12 he couldn't wait to be 13 so that he could get a paper round and earn his own money. When he turned 13 he couldn't be bothered to get a paper round and no longer wanted to do it. And so begins the pattern of behaviour that leaves me in tears today.
For the last year he's been at college doing a bricklaying course (or Trowel Trades as they call it now) but as he got EMA, he wouldn't get a part time job on the the days he didn't go to college. So now he has left college and i gave him a good couple of weeks grace for him to bum around, have his 17th birthday etc etc.
Now i have told him that he has had his bumming around time and it's time to crack down and get a job. Any job. Ideally he wants a labourer's job on a building site so that he can eventually start being a brickie, but for this he needs a CSCS card (i think it's a Health & Safety thing), which he hasn't got. My DP (not my DS's father btw) and I are willing to pay for him to do the CSCS exam so that he'll have more chance of getting a job that he wants.
Another hurdle he has come across is that most labourers need to drive to get to the sites and he doesn't drive yet but is taking lessons (paid for as a birthday present by DP and I). So we have said that he really needs to get ANY kind of job so that he can save up to continue his driving lessons (we only bought him 10), buy a car and then get the job that he wants. However he has made no proper effort to get work. He makes token gestures of going to agencies but always comes up with excuses, e.g. you have to be 18 to sign up with them or they're not recruiting for another week. He also wont go to the agency on his own as the walk there is boring. (He should try commuting every day for a gazillion years!) It's only a fruit packing agency, which is boring as f*ck, but it's MONEY and he needs to transition from boy to man (or at least half-man) FAST!
I had a long chat with him last night about his behaviour in general and how his sloppiness around the house and general lack of consideration for other people just will not do any more.
I suggested also that he get to the agency in the morning as by the afternoon, the temporary work will have been placed and he'll come back empty handed yet again.
I rang him at midday only to find that he'd not been down the agency yet. When i asked why he said "i dunno" (the usual answer). I told him he had to get up early and had he not listened to me last night etc? He said "Well i'm not gonna get up at like half nine am i?" I asked him why and he said "It's too early". Honestly, i wanted to wring his lazy little bloody neck!!! I pointed out that DP gets up at 5am and i get up at 6.45am to go to work so 9.30 is a friggin' lay in!!! I also told him he was being lazy, which he denied. I had to slam the phone down on him in the end because i was just sooooo mad and i cant really shout at him when i'm at work.
I also mentioned to him last night about him leaving cups etc everywhere and leaving his sodding tobacco everywhere and yet this morning i came downstairs and there was a cup on the floor and his tobacco everywhere. I knew then that he'd not listened to a word i'd said.
I really dont need the stress right now (I'm 23+2 pg) and the fact that he has reduced me to tears (not in front of him tho) has made no bearing on him.
I am sorry to say i am beginning to not like him very much at all.
My DP is in despair. He has been so patient and tries his hardest to encourage him to find work. But now he is at the end of his tether too, especially when he sees the state i get in over my DS.
To top it all off, my DS was at home yesterday and left the back door open as it was a nice day. Then he went upstairs and WENT TO SLEEP on his bed, leaving the back door wide open for God knows who to walk in. As it was, a cat came and had a vicious fight with one of my cats - fur and blood everywhere - and all because he was stupid enough to leave the door open. Now my cats are hiding under the bed and are scared and dont feel safe in their own home. We've only just moved and they were settling in so well so this has REALLY pissed me off too. I may have to take my poor kitty to the vet as he has an injured leg from the fight. All thanx to my DS.
I'm so angry i dont know whether to laugh, cry or just absolutely explode.
I told him that he has to come back with a job today or else. He doesn't look hard enough.
If he has no job, i will cut off his internet and if that doesn't work, i will then confiscate his phone.
I know it sounds drastic and childish, but i feel he is acting like a 14 year old, rather than a 17 year old.
I'm so unhappy with him.