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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Inappropriate dress for 15 yr old?

74 replies

Blewitt · 10/07/2019 08:35

My DD 15, yr 10, wants me to buy her this dress. She is going away to France with a friend and her family in the holidays which seems to be the reason for the purchase. Is this really the sort of thing girls her age wear? She is very well endowed but also has a bit of a tummy and despite my protestations that this both isn't suitable for a 15 year old and is unlikely to look good on her she does not seem to get it! ( I haven't said anything more on the figure front than I don't think it will look good on her, models Iike this make clothes look very different). Normally she wears very normal clothes btw. Jeans, t shirts etc. Does anyone have any ideas of something else that might be more appropriate that I could suggest for her please? (I did suggest she could buy it with her money and try it on and see but she didn't want to do that!).
www.prettylittlething.com/shape-red-slinky-ruched-mini-dress.html
Thank you!

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 10/07/2019 16:06

I know itis what is in but there is too much going on in these dresses and they are horrible !

SnuggyBuggy · 10/07/2019 16:06

Those clingfilm trousers should come with one of those bacterial vaginosis treatment kits

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 10/07/2019 16:07

I own this dress and it really isn't appropriate for a 14 year old, I had to sew up the middle to avoid exposing too much

EmperorBallpitine · 10/07/2019 16:11

I think it will be unflattering and uncomfortable, you are correct to have thoughts about it

15YemenRoad · 10/07/2019 16:29

What about one of these dresses? They can give her the more grown up look she evidently wants, but more covered and would look nice. Some can be worn with tights.

www.prettylittlething.com/dusky-blue-lace-high-neck-peplum-dress.html

www.prettylittlething.com/dusty-blue-high-neck-lace-long-sleeve-bodycon-dress.html

www.prettylittlething.com/white-broderie-anglaise-long-sleeve-lace-trim-shift-dress.html

www.prettylittlething.com/pink-polka-dot-tiered-detail-frill-hem-shift-dress.html

www.prettylittlething.com/burgundy-panelled-frill-hem-high-neck-bodycon-dress.html

El0die · 10/07/2019 16:55

France is very conservative! Girls and women dress to conform to a particular aesthetic. They are not daring at all. They like to look expensive, chic and sexy. I'm afraid this dress is cheap and sexy, not at all appropriate for her age or her figure by the way you describe it.
Try and find an alternative- is it the vibrant red she likes? It is a fabulous colour. There must be loads of nice little dresses that don't look so... trashy...

Lllot5 · 10/07/2019 17:03

No definitely not. I can’t think of any one any age or size who would look good in this. Apart from the fact she’ll be boiling hot in it.

Oliversmumsarmy · 10/07/2019 17:09

I have no idea where your dd would wear such a dress. I think shorts and a long floaty cami top Or a t shirt dress for evening would be more appropriate for the weather.

It is not as if dd is going clubbing at 15. Or it is quite cold in the evenings.

It is like picking out a favourite jumper to take on holiday when the temperature is pushing 90degrees. It might be a nice jumper but you are going to be mightily uncomfortable wearing it

twattymctwatterson · 10/07/2019 17:19

I'm torn here op because while I don't really feel the dress is appropriate for a 15 year old, the two reasons you don't want her to wear the dress make me uncomfortable and I'm hoping you've not explained your reasons to your DD the way you have here which involve saying that
A. You don't think she's got the figure for this dress and
B. You think that women who dress in a certain way invite poor behaviour from men.

I really don't think you should be giving your DD the message that women's clothes cause men to behave in a certain way. It's regressive, anti-feminist and victim blaming. Men cause men to behave badly.

I'd frame it that the Dre is oversexualised for a 15 year old and not appropriate for the weather. Bare in mind you only have another year or so before you have any say in what she wears and that she's likely to buy clothes you really hate as soon as she has access to her own money

Bluntness100 · 10/07/2019 17:24

I wouldn't let my 15 year old daughter wear those play suits either to go to things like dinner. They look like lingerie. And are arguably worse. Fine for the beach but that's it.

Op, have you talked to her about appropriate dress fo different occasions? I'm assuming the friends parents will be there and I'd want to know why she wished to dress in an overly sexualised manner in front of them.

I'd wonder if her and her friend have plans to go out on their own. If she doesn't usually dress like this, and she's going with her friends parents, then there will be a reason she wants to suddenly dress herself in an overly sexual dress like this.

Original poster

Blewitt · 10/07/2019 17:57

Wow, so many responses, thank you! Lots of much better options and I have given her some links to look at. I have said so many of the things on here to her about appropriate dress for occasion, for being with another family and if her friend wore that with us I would not be happy at all. Hopefully she will realise why it isn't a good choice for so many reasons. I have probed as to why she wants this style of dress when it is so different to her normal choices and she seems to think it would give her confidence so that is something for me to work on.

OP posts:

TroubleWithNargles · 10/07/2019 18:03

Oh dear. No way is that dress suitable for a teenager. What on earth possessed her to even think of buying something like that.

Tell her it is way, way too tarty.

Mrsjayy · 10/07/2019 18:13

She is probably seeing other girls/women strutting about in these dresses on the tv or internet giving her that false confidence she would stick out like a sore thumb in that being 15 is hard !

EvaHarknessRose · 10/07/2019 18:22

My rule is stuff I am paying for I have to like too ;)

HalloumiGus · 10/07/2019 18:31

Holy mother of God I can't unsee the things I've seen on that site! 😂 I'm officially old!

CaMePlaitPas · 10/07/2019 18:46

Which part of France is she going to? I live in France and I can tell you she'll get all the wrong kind of attention in that. Plus it looks cheap and horrible. Can you find a red skater dress to appease her?

RB68 · 10/07/2019 18:49

OMG I wouldn't get mine anywhere near that she is 14 in Aug. I really wouldn't go there if you are not there to supervise. I do have a friend with a DD similar age who has some skimpy dresses but she is extremely body confident size 6 no boobs and 5 ft 10 but her Mum still gets antsy with anything vaguely like that

Tactfulish · 11/07/2019 09:14

This reply has been deleted

The OP has now deregistered, as they have privacy concerns. We have agreed to take this down at their request.

3dogs2cats · 11/07/2019 20:57

We went toParis at Easter and my girl loved the teenagers style, boys and girls in skinny ankle grazer jeans, espadrilles and stripes t shirts. There are some denim dresses on Pretty little thing that would fit with that aesthetic. The French teenagers looked so cool. Treat her to a really good haircut. And talk to her about french style.

ProggyMat · 12/07/2019 20:01

Quote: 'It looks cheap and like something a hooker would wear'
Quote: 'the dress is foul and looks like something a prostitute would wear'
Quote: 'You are going there on holiday not to stand on street corners... they should all be in a website for 'working girls' not regular teenagers'
Quote: 'tell her it is way, way too tarty'
My DD (15) and I are appalled, not at the dress, but at the language being used on this thread. Hopefully, 'up for it' will not be trotted out as fait accompli.

Flossiefoo · 12/07/2019 22:00

My friends daughter has just bought a white one almost identical. She's 15 and ALL the girls seem to be wearing this sort of thing. As awful as they are it seems the norm with a lot of girls .. thankfully my 15yo hasn't asked to buy one yet but it's best friend who has one and I'm going to refuse if she asks ! The girls dad saw it and said 'That's a nice T-shirt' .. he had no idea it was a dress .. but she has gone to an end of year party in it tonight :-O
I feel your pain and I'm just hoping my dd won't want one .. she's generally dressed in riding breeches thankfully but the short strappy tops have made an appearance so far !

MotherIdLikeToFondle · 18/01/2020 16:50

Honestly, I would let her wear it. If she's comfortable wearing it, and it's what's popular for her age, I'd let her get it. Just as long as she brings a big jumper or jacket in case she feels uncomfortable whilst wearing it out.
Teenagers will wear what they feel comfortable in or think they look good in at the end of the day, which is a good thing. If he thinks she looks good in it, she'll feel good about herself.
Also it doesn't matter if she has "a bit of a tummy", if she feels good in it, it's good

zoobincan · 18/01/2020 16:52

This thread is MONTHS old!!

Why on earth would you post on it advising what to do? The holiday was last year

Firsttimemama2017 · 18/01/2020 17:42

More like something my 19 year old cousin would wear on a night out to town! Definitely not suitable!

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