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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

CAMHS ASD assessment or not?

164 replies

BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 14:51

DD aged 13 is due to go for an autism assessment this week with CAMHS. It came about after she self harmed earlier this year, which thankfully stopped. But CAMHS sent some forms for us and the school to compete and as a result we have this appointment. I have a friend waiting for a similar assessment and know they are hard to come by, but I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do.

Dd has a nice group of friends at school , a few fallings out around the time of the self harming but nothing since. She prefers 1:1 or small group friendships and likes alot of time to herself. This weekend is fairly typical in that she went out with her best friend for a dog walk yesterday, joined in with the extended family at a party last night and today she wants to spend the day on her laptop. She always needs time to 'recharge' after being sociable and describes school as 'draining' she's constantly complaining of aching legs and feet and seeks time alone.

Out of school her best friend has ASD so dd is very aware of the symptoms and to be honest I feel she 'plays' on that a bit.

I've been watching her since the appointment was first made, and I can't help but think she's just an introvert with a dash of teen social angst. She does get in a state about silly things. Like she didn't want to go the award ceremony she was asked to attend as she didn't know if it was uniform or normal clothes. But I remember being like that at that age.

CAMHS say the school have reported that she struggles to maintain eye contact and doesn't like working with people she doesn't know. I have noticed the eye contact thing but it's only with people she doesn't know, so surely that's shyness?

I do thinks she's a bit 'different' in some respects. She's not 'out there' and has no interest in being popular. She does odd things like she seems to not want to be part of groups. For example, she refused to go to her old primary school summer fair (her sister is still at the school) as she says she had no friends in year 6 (true that she was on the periphery of all the groups and it was a hard time for her) before she left. I only find it odd because it's a bit of a 'thing' for the kids to go back and all hang out at their old school and for some reason I felt a bit sad when I saw DD was not there, even though she doesn't want to. Confused.. I think it's just the fact that she seems to want to cut herself off that gets to me. Does that makes sense?

We walked past a few girls from her current class when we were out the other day, and she just put her head down and ignored them. It's as though she doesn't want to be part of it all, rather than she can't.

The CAMHS team who are seeing her are just two people, I've looked at the letter and one is a psychologist and the other is a nurse. I thought this was meant to be a multidisciplinary assessment with one of the people being a Dr. I'm just a bit worried that my introverted, socially anxious daughter will be labelled with ASD when that's not what she has. Would it be possible for her to hoodwink them, as I strongly suspect dd would quite like that label of ASD. Shock

OP posts:
Tableclothing · 30/06/2019 14:57

Why do you think your dd would want to be diagnosed with autism if she doesn't have it?

Have you read much about autism in women and girls? It can be very student to autism in men and boys.

Tableclothing · 30/06/2019 14:58

*different

Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 15:00

It's the right thing to do. They won't diagnose her if she doesn't meet the criteria. If she does then surely that's better to know.

Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:03

Tableclothing I think she would think it would give her something else to have in common with her best friend. She's very defensive of her best friend and of people with autism in general. That's a good thing obviously, but I certainly don't think she sees it in the same way as most her age.

OP posts:
Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:05

Surely it is possible to get a diagnosis wrong though? I'm just worried about a label. If she was obviously autistic then I'd go for it. But as I say, I think she's just a socially awkward introverted teen, and there does seem to be alot of crossover.

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 30/06/2019 15:06

What you describe sounds like a girl with asd.
She may well not get a diagnosis through camhs as you almost have to telegraph the asd and they don't seem to always understand masking.
But telegraphing something you actually have is not hoodwinking.

A diagnosis helps you to make sense of what makes you tick and helps you access support especially at transition times such as a new school, university or place of employment.

Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 15:07

Ok. It's possible. It's also very unlikely.

It's not a ten minute chat where they slap a label on.

Tableclothing · 30/06/2019 15:09

What is it about 'a label' that worries you?

Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:09

The other reason I'm put off is that she finally had a group of friend. It's true that she always found making friends very difficult. She sort of flitted about between groups in primary, until she was friendless in year 6. But she's done so well at secondary and is settled now, so I think that was all about her at the time.

OP posts:
Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 15:10

The other reason I'm put off is that she finally had a group of friend.

What on earth do you mean? If she has friends she has friends.

OhTheRoses · 30/06/2019 15:10

If CAMHS have offered an apt based on questionnaires and school then you must go and listen with an open mind. A diagnosis is likely to provide her with support and coping mechanisms. Stress and anxiety will ratchet up as gcses get closer and so will the sh rear it's ugly head again.

Your dd is being offered help. CAMHS don't offer it lightly. Welcome it with open arms, read up, listen to your dd and get your head out of the sand.

Help her. Accept her for who she is.

Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:10

The label worries me because of her mental health. She's on good form after a difficult start to the year.

OP posts:
Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 15:11

A diagnosis doesn't remove friends

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 30/06/2019 15:12

Asd doesn't mean you're a permanent social pariah.
It means you experience barriers to social communication with neurotypical people which are worse during times of stress.
There are loads of environmental factors there and children do learn to mask a lot of the time or they meet other friends who are on the asd spectrum where that barrier isn't there.
That doesn't 'prove' there is no asd present.
Although camhs in some areas might think it does.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 30/06/2019 15:13

Do you think a diagnosis (not a label - a diagnosis) will worsen her mental health?

Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:13

The friend comment is because from what I've read, difficulty in making and keeping friends is one of the signs. And whilst that applied in primary school, its not so much an issue now. She has had the same group of friends for 2 years.

OP posts:
Tableclothing · 30/06/2019 15:15

How will a diagnosis harm her mental health? Especially if she wants one. It's possible that a diagnosis would provide an explanation to her for how she has been feeling and the difficulties she has faced which is clear and non-judgemental. It could also open up channels of advice and support that could really benefit her.

Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 15:15

Autistic people can have friends.

I think you need to read more specifically about girls and autism. Social masking.

Please let her be seen by CAHMS. All you have said is basically pointing towards you being in denial and not wanting there to be anything 'wrong' with your DD. It's a normal response but please don't let that prevent her from being assessed.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 30/06/2019 15:17

Having difficulty with something doesn't necessarily mean you will never be able to do it.

Some people are naturals at driving a car. Others take 2 years of lessons. It doesn't mean they can't drive.

Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:18

SuperLoudPoppingAction yes, I think it may.

Your explanation about social communication and stress is very helpful. Thank you.

Her best friend has ASD and as a result she's met other girls with ASD as well. Dd is always saying she gets on better with these girls as they're so much nicer than 'other' girls. Maybe that's an example of the barrier you were talking about.

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 30/06/2019 15:18

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07MZDPY7F/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21 this is an easy read

Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 15:19

It's incredibly common for autistic people to be drawn to each other.

PupsAndKittens · 30/06/2019 15:20

Op, as someone who has ASD, I doubt (and hope!)That she wants to have an ASD diagnosis, as it is just a invitation to get bullied by most people (even people who wouldn’t do so to anyone else). Not convinced: I was at the bus stop, waiting to come home from college and a asked a group of students; who I had seen before, but had not spoken to; if the bus had came and we had missed it or whether it was late. The response I got: “no you spa*tic” followed by them all laughing. It made me feel like shit Sad

From the information in your post, I imagine that your child could possibly have some form of autism. However it is hard to say, as I have, obviously, never met your child. I personally would go to the assessment As they might be able to give you some alternative help even if it transpires that your child does not have ASD.

Original poster
BurnedToast · 30/06/2019 15:20

I know autistic people can have friends. I'm digging a hole here and not meaning to offend. What I meant was, she clearly ticked the boxes in primary in respect of friendships, but she doesn't now. Granted, she's no social butterfly but surely that can also just the way she is. She calls herself an introvert.

OP posts: