CAMHS ASD assessment or not?

[BurnedToast]

DD aged 13 is due to go for an autism assessment this week with CAMHS. It came about after she self harmed earlier this year, which thankfully stopped. But CAMHS sent some forms for us and the school to compete and as a result we have this appointment. I have a friend waiting for a similar assessment and know they are hard to come by, but I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do.

Dd has a nice group of friends at school , a few fallings out around the time of the self harming but nothing since. She prefers 1:1 or small group friendships and likes alot of time to herself. This weekend is fairly typical in that she went out with her best friend for a dog walk yesterday, joined in with the extended family at a party last night and today she wants to spend the day on her laptop. She always needs time to 'recharge' after being sociable and describes school as 'draining' she's constantly complaining of aching legs and feet and seeks time alone.

Out of school her best friend has ASD so dd is very aware of the symptoms and to be honest I feel she 'plays' on that a bit.

I've been watching her since the appointment was first made, and I can't help but think she's just an introvert with a dash of teen social angst. She does get in a state about silly things. Like she didn't want to go the award ceremony she was asked to attend as she didn't know if it was uniform or normal clothes. But I remember being like that at that age.

CAMHS say the school have reported that she struggles to maintain eye contact and doesn't like working with people she doesn't know. I have noticed the eye contact thing but it's only with people she doesn't know, so surely that's shyness?

I do thinks she's a bit 'different' in some respects. She's not 'out there' and has no interest in being popular. She does odd things like she seems to not want to be part of groups. For example, she refused to go to her old primary school summer fair (her sister is still at the school) as she says she had no friends in year 6 (true that she was on the periphery of all the groups and it was a hard time for her) before she left. I only find it odd because it's a bit of a 'thing' for the kids to go back and all hang out at their old school and for some reason I felt a bit sad when I saw DD was not there, even though she doesn't want to. .. I think it's just the fact that she seems to want to cut herself off that gets to me. Does that makes sense?

We walked past a few girls from her current class when we were out the other day, and she just put her head down and ignored them. It's as though she doesn't want to be part of it all, rather than she can't.

The CAMHS team who are seeing her are just two people, I've looked at the letter and one is a psychologist and the other is a nurse. I thought this was meant to be a multidisciplinary assessment with one of the people being a Dr. I'm just a bit worried that my introverted, socially anxious daughter will be labelled with ASD when that's not what she has. Would it be possible for her to hoodwink them, as I strongly suspect dd would quite like that label of ASD.

Thank you. Whatever happens tomorrow, I am definitely going to get a full EP assessment done. I've found out a local school has an ASD unit. I know there's no diagnosis as yet, but it's good to know it may be an option. They spend about 50% of the week in the main classes and the other 50% in the unit working in small groups. It's not needed as yet, but given she says she's having 2-3 anxiety attacks a day I'd like to think there is an option for her if this escalates. Her anxiety doesn't seem to affect her education at the moment, but it may so I could try and get her an EHCP if needed at that point.

It's possible that if your DD gets some sort of diagnosis and the school start to put adaptations in place (so she doesn't have to struggle to copy from the board for example) then that will calm some of her anxiety anyway, without needing to move. It's nice to know there are options but I wouldn't worry about that just yet.

All the best for you and DD tomorrow If I'd had access to something like MumsNet 15 years ago when DS was assessed I know I'd have been asking loads of questions too!

Thank you for your understanding. I do feel a bit about all the posts and thank you all for your time. I just like to know everything so I can weigh it all up. I'm not a 'go with the flow' type.

Hope all goes well today

how did it go BT?

It was alright. She didn't say alot about it. We have to go next to week and then we get called back. I'm not sure what to think really so I'm just going to see what they say.

i found the process genuinely too complicated to properly follow long waits, seemingly random appointments with seemingly random people, lots of phone calls and lots more long waits...

does it feel like any kind of weight off either of your shoulders having got that step out of the way?

Not really to be honest. I asked her some of the questions and I know some of the answers she gave were inaccurate. for example, they asked if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend, and if not if she would like one. She said no and no. But then told me she was embarrassed because the psychologist was a young man. It's true sue doesn't have a boyfriend, but she's definitely interested in boys. No boyfriend on the horizon, but I think she would if she could. Also. They asked what caused her anxiety at school and she said it was always noise. That's not true either, as it's when a teacher asks her a question (who doesn't feel anxious then?!). I just worry they're going to take away from that that she doesn't like relationships and is hyper sensitive to noise.

When asking these questions they will be looking at how the person answers more than why they actually say. They will be analysing what she says and how she says it. But they won't diagnose her based on that. It's part of a huge picture.

My DD told them she had friends and named my friends kid who is in her class. She never plays with her. They didn't just accept what she said; they picked up on the body language, tone, language, eyes, gestures etc

DD2 told her assessors that she was most comfortable when she rides horses. She had ridden twice, 6 years ago 😂 Although she showed them through other activities that she is fixed on horses.

She was asked if she was going to get married. She said "No, I'll just live with my husky dogs". "Why?" "Because people have huge lists of needs and demands. Dogs don't have a big list, they just want food, cuddles and a walk."

Even though she is a very fluent speaker, they picked up on an awkward pattern and pace of speech, which they said indicated that she learned elements of language by rote.

@Lougle

They pick up on so much don't they!

Eye contact for example. DD can and does do it, but there was a notable difference in how much she gave depending on what the conversation was. They talked about her interest, her eye contact (and every other part of communication) was stronger than it was when the subject turned to something she had no interest in.

That's another one - eye contact. She said she thought they were recording for so she spent the session looking for a camera. That's going to look really odd

I taught DD2 eye contact explicitly ("you look at the lollypop lady, smile, and then you can look away") when she was 4. So people think she 'does' eye contact. When she went for her first appointment, the man said he was certain she had ASD. I said 'she did well with eye contact...' and he laughed, then said 'she did well at seeming like she was giving me eye contact. She actually positioned herself diagonally so she wouldn't have to look at me.'

DD only doesn't do eye contact with people she doesn't know. But that's a new thing, as she always used too.