My dd is 13, she has always been an explosive child but since her dad and I split she's off the chart. I have been trying to hold everything together, get her to dance classes even though she can't be added to get ready. Her dance school isn't local so it's always a rush to get there. On Friday she took ages getting changed as usual but had an irrational meltdown about having a bun in her hair. I said her teacher insists on it and if she didn't wear one then I wouldn't take her. This made her very angry. After I had done her hair I decided to ws it in the car for her. I know now that she thought I was going to drive off without her. My son heard her go in my room and she smashed my tablet screen.
On the way to dance I asked if she needed her character shoes (she had also forgotten them the day before) as her teacher mentioned they would focus on 2 dances but I didn't hear which ones. I said I was happy to turn the car round so she could take her character shoes but just got a mouthful of abuse. When she got to dance I did tell the teacher how difficult she had been and she had a word with her about her being old enough to remember her stuff for dance. Dd shed a few tears and came to apologise but I think that was out of guilt for smashing my tablet.
It was much later on that evening when I discovered the screen on my tablet had been smashed. It's an old one that I don't use except for saving photos onto it.
She denied all knowledge of doing it. The next morning I said she was grounded and wouldn't be allowed to go to her friend's party. I was looking forward to having a break as it was a sleepover but I was very upset about my tablet.
Dd shouted and banged and slammed doors as usual. I threatened to call the police and she calmed down. The next time I left my room I noticed she had put a hole through the door of the airing cupboard. I was devastated. She also denied this. We have only been renting this house a few weeks and I'm terrified of being evicted.
I called the police straight away to report the criminal damage. My son rang his dad and he came to take her for a few hours but I said she can't come back as myself and ds don't feel safe.
I have texted her and said she's not welcome to come back as I can't risk her damaging the house again. My ex owns his home so isn't under as much threat as I am although the neighbours have reported them to the police when there's been arguments.
I feel like I was on borrowed time with her anyway, as soon as she's 18 I won't get help with housing costs and I have 2 part time jobs which fit round her dancing but they're not enough to live on without claiming for dependents. I feel like I may as well not be here if I can't live with DD anyway, I'll end up in a dire financial situation so life is always going to be hard. I am so scared. I really feel like I can't go on anymore.