Party for teenage son. Help!

[Dink234]

I’m probably overthinking this but 17 yo DS has asked to have a party in June. I don’t know any of his friends or their parents as he has recently moved to sixth form college. So in about 6 weeks 25, 17 and 18 year olds will be pitching up for a party. What do teenagers want to do these days? What should I and hubby be doing when they are all here? Do they want food? What do we do about alcohol? Do they want entertaining? Will they fall into the fire pit? Do I just turn a blind eye if they are smoking dope at the end of the garden? DS hasn’t been to many parties yet himself and anyway he’s a teenage boy so all he wants is for us to make ourselves scarce. But we love a good party so he’s grown up around us eating, drinking and being merry into the early hours on many an occasion. I’d love some advice form you experienced parents out there!!!

Lots of food, lots of carbs

If outside do a BBQ with instructions on cooking times -

Alcohol but some and let them bring their own

Be scarce but around

Def be around somewhere, don’t leave them to it. And be prepared for very pissed teens and a lot of mess!

I would discreetly be around. Personally I would provide limited amounts of alcohol and say none to be brought in.

We have always gone out and left them to it but them we've known their friends since they were tiny and they are decent kids.
Have always just gone to the pub around the corner and told ours to tel straight away if there are any issues.
At 17 I would leave some beer/cider and hide our Islay malts.

Helpmum- ' day none to be bought in'

LOL!!!

'Say' not 'day'

I think you provide some alcohol, pizzas and music (check with neighbours if needed) and leave them to it. They shouldn't need to be in the house unless it's to use the toilet so maybe some outdoor seating if you have some. I wouldn't be allowing anyone to smoke weed in my garden.

I left my son to it at that age , and about 70 people turned up , the clean up was 4 of them for a whole day. They will bring their own booze I wouldn’t provide any. I would put nuts and crisps out

70 people. OMFG. My worst nightmare!! Do we need bouncers???

Hilariously we still have an outside toilet so there is NO reason for anyone to enter the house.

A friend recommended that we don't make much effort as they will mooch up, leave for a bit, mooch back, hang around a bit, leave again etc etc. I feel really uncomfortable about that as I feel their parents will expect that they are at our house and they could be anywhere. We live in the middle of (the safest) market town in the UK and the teens will be coming from a catchment area of about 30 miles.

I'm really getting the message to be discreetly in the vicinity!

And not to provide alcohol as they will do that themselves :)

Any other tips??

And Pinkyyy I agree. My son konws where we stand on him smokign weed - but the others? 18 years old? Not my kids? Don't even know them. Do we patrol and ask them politely not to? I guess so.

We had one for DSD's 18th - also a June birthday so they were nearly all 18 already. We allowed alcohol (and supplied some) but banned spirits (actually DSD's own suggestion) We stayed around for the party, which tbh was a bit strained as I'm not gregarious enough to just chat to big groups of teenagers I don't really know. We did indeed ignore the dope smoking from the end of the garden (or rather, I did. DH is too niaive to know what it was!)

All went smoothly with no lasting damage done. Yes, they eat lots of food. Pizza and garlic bread are nice and easy for large numbers. And they're not too old for cake

Yea 70 I thought there would be about 20 ! I wouldn’t make much effort they won’t care if your house has been hoovered /cleaned as it’s likely a mess will be made anyway. You say they won’t have any reason to come in the house , but they still will. I would hide any money/jewellery as you don’t know if friends will bring friends who your son doesn’t know. Also put boxes in the garden for the cans and bottles they may chuck them in they may not .put bin bags on the kitchen work top in the hope they will be used. My son and daughter had a ‘gathering ‘ over Easter while we were away for a night they had 20 friends over and filled the recycling boxes and another 3 bin bags .

What about a massive meat joint on a bbq.

? not.

Don't let them in the house!
Is an event shelter type thing an option in case of rain? (We had a cheap one from Costco)

Provide food...pizza is usually a good option.

Kids will bring their own booze.

Put a few big bins around for empty bottles and cans.

Put an end time on it...anyone being collected then can arrange a lift.

Good luck!

Your outside toilet is a godsend. Lock the house as they will just let themselves in if it's open. It's still your property so regardless of age I'd just ask them to smoke it elsewhere. Have you asked how many people he expects to turn up?

Provide a big bucket of water for the fire

They will all bring booze but supply some if you want

It won't be 25..
in my experience half the year group turns up.
He might not want you there in the house, are you friendly with neighbours? Could you have an evening with them while it's all going on?

Food - yes, carbs a plenty! But nothing that could get too messy. Do the food outside if at all possible (or it may be trodden all through the house).
Booze - couple of crates of beer. And soft drinks. They'll bring their own Alc no doubt.

Buy a few cheap buckets from B&Q and dot them around. Useful for catching the inevitable vomit!

I would make sure none of them leave in their cars if they've been drinking.

We did sausage sandwiches at midnight to signal the end....drove some of them home (we are in a small village and they hadn't arranged taxis or pick ups.) Some of DDs close friends stayed over, but that was agreed in advance. We supplied some lager & cider, and stipulated no spirits - but they brought them anyway! What surprised me was that they spent most of the evening going in and out of the front door, and charging around our (small, sleepy) village. No idea why! We had to patrol the church graveyard opposite the house and turf some couples out of there! Glad she's older now

At 17-18yo it's okay if their parents don't know their location at every moment.

I wouldn't try to host one, but just to say that my observations of successful parties at this age seem to involve large gardens on an isolated field. Food under a marquis. The kids who stayed overnight had tents, Brought own booze, had an outside toilet or nearly outside. They phoned own parents for lifts next morning. Host parents were there to phone for fire brigade, police or ambulance but otherwise didn't mingle.

As the mother of primary age children, this thread terrifies me. Are you preparing for a party or a zombie apocalypse? I will be keep my eye out for discount gazebos.

lljkk I couldn’t agree more. Most of the above are feasible, except we are in town. Will have 3 large uncles (of DS) in attendance in capacity as bouncers, bar tenders (of lo alcohol solutions), and adults who are not parents. Will put gazebo, bell tent, buckets and bins outside. Will have buckets of water next to fire pit. Will send pizzas and garlic bread out through the kitchen window. Notify the neighbours. Lock the house and take to my bed with a box set, ear plugs and the phone for emergencies. And try and remember who thought this was a good idea. Hmm.

Have I forgotten anything????

Mclady your time will come!