Party for teenage son. Help!

[Dink234]

I’m probably overthinking this but 17 yo DS has asked to have a party in June. I don’t know any of his friends or their parents as he has recently moved to sixth form college. So in about 6 weeks 25, 17 and 18 year olds will be pitching up for a party. What do teenagers want to do these days? What should I and hubby be doing when they are all here? Do they want food? What do we do about alcohol? Do they want entertaining? Will they fall into the fire pit? Do I just turn a blind eye if they are smoking dope at the end of the garden? DS hasn’t been to many parties yet himself and anyway he’s a teenage boy so all he wants is for us to make ourselves scarce. But we love a good party so he’s grown up around us eating, drinking and being merry into the early hours on many an occasion. I’d love some advice form you experienced parents out there!!!

Firefliess CAKE!!! Great idea. Thanks

Some people search bags here to avoid excessive alcohol coming in. Banning spirits is a good idea but you need to supervise any rules discreetly.

My dd was looking to have a 16th but the advice on this thread has definetly put me off so I have asked her to rethink it and go for a meal with friends heres hoping

Dd had one for her 17th
Had about 50 of them turn up but it was only those invited
Provide soft drinks only, they brought alcohol 🤦‍♀️lots...
Used outside annex that has its own toilet
Patrol on a regular basis Dh and I took turns
Half way through evening we took out lots of pizza
Only one girl got really drunk and her friends look after her really well
End time of midnight so it was about one o clock when they went
Only a few very close friends stayed ( they slept outside in the annex) and a couple of lads whose taxi didn't turn up , we live in a small rural village
It was fine, kids really polite and was enjoyed by all

My boys are this age.

Set an end time. Tell them no spirits. Provide soft drinks and lots of pizza. Stay out of the way but somewhere you can see what's going on.

And absolutely no weed!

Dink234 Sun 05-May-19 11:11:30
lljkk I couldn’t agree more. Most of the above are feasible, except we are in town. Will have 3 large uncles (of DS) in attendance in capacity as bouncers, bar tenders (of lo alcohol solutions), and adults who are not parents. Will put gazebo, bell tent, buckets and bins outside. Will have buckets of water next to fire pit. Will send pizzas and garlic bread out through the kitchen window. Notify the neighbours. Lock the house and take to my bed with a box set, ear plugs and the phone for emergencies. And try and remember who thought this was a good idea. Hmm. Have I forgotten anything????

The only thing I would add is to make sure that there is no access to spirits in the house that even your own DS could get his hands on, especially expensive ones. It's probably a needless precaution but an easy one. It's an easy 'mistake' for kids if they have already had a bit more than they are used to.

Lots starchy food is good.
My teen just came home paralytic (from being completely sober at 5:30pm). First for us. Am Not chuffed at all.

@lljkk oh no. What happened??

No putting it on social media avoid unwanted guests

@Hecateh that is such a good point. Thanks. You sound like you e had experience!

BTW I think it’s worth saying that on the whole I think all of our teens are great. Funny, clever, engaging. I don’t want to clip their wings but want to be prepared and not naive. We were teens once and got up to all sorts. Well I did anyway.

Thanks so much for all your brilliant advice. It makes me feel ready for what I’m sure will be a brilliant party. I’ll let you know!

Probably chugged a lot on empty stomach. Generally sleep deprived so vulnerable. 5:45am now, DD is wondering around house I hope with the headache from Hell. There will be words later on today.

Some of the best parties I went to at this age had all alcohol provided by parents at the party. Parties where there has been a bring no alcohol and bring no drugs rule with alcohol provided have been successful. If you provide drinks like beer/cider/alcopops then being the often penniless and underage children they are they'll take that over having to try and acquire their own alcohol! Having a guest list and someone at the garden gate or front door has always worked too. If you set firm boundaries and make your child well aware of them it should be fine. Food is a good idea. Pizza, hot dogs, crisps etc. Some people don't eat dinner before going to a party... Hope it goes well!