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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Group of 16yo going away for a few days.

33 replies

EleanorLavish · 19/04/2019 09:23

Just wondering if you would allow a small group of 16yo girls go away for a few days? To a cottage in a small coastal town.
Reason I'm asking is I know someone allowing this and was a bit surprised. They do drink, and parents know this.

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 19/04/2019 09:49

Probably not.
And I doubt anyone would let out a cottage to a group of under 18s anyway.

Original poster
EleanorLavish · 19/04/2019 10:07

It’s a holiday home of one of the families.
I was a bit aghast but thought maybe I’m an old fart.

OP posts:
Lungelady · 19/04/2019 10:09

My ds went away with his mates to Blackpool post GCSEs. In a crappy B and B.

Luaa · 19/04/2019 10:11

When I was 16 my friends and I went away to Cornwall for a week staying in a caravan and tent post gcses. One persons mum wouldn't let her come, but the rest of our parents were fine.

VioletCharlotte · 19/04/2019 10:14

I can't see why not? I went away with a group of girls at 16/17. DS2 went to a 4 night festival at 17. This seems pretty standard to me.

Aragog · 19/04/2019 10:15

I think it's too young. 16 year olds unsupervised drinking for a few days is likely not going to end well.
The fact that most holiday cottages, b and bs and hotels wouldn't let them suggests it's too young as well.

I have a just turned 17y so a year older. I'd still not be overly happy with this arrangement, and she is pretty sensible as teens go.

But this is Mumsnet - posters will be along soon to say all is fine, they were living totally independent lives at 16y, holding down jobs, etc.

jackparlabane · 19/04/2019 10:17

I'd probably ask some pointed questions about what they plan to do there. If I got the impression some of the girls aimed to get drunk and pull random lads, no way. Or if they would be sneaking half their mates in. But a few girls having a trip - in itself, a sensible ambition for them to organise.

Original poster
EleanorLavish · 19/04/2019 10:21

If I’d been allowed to do this at 16yo (I never would have been allowed!) my friends and I would have eaten too many sweets, stayed up late watching Tom cons and singing/dancing to Take That.
But we didn’t drink at that age. It’s the alcohol involved that makes me feel uneasy.
Anyway, not my decision to make, just wanted some views. Can see they are varied, thanks!

OP posts:
Still18atheart · 19/04/2019 10:24

I know of a family which allowed their post GCSEs ds to do something similar. Also I know it’s a year difference but my dniece and some friends went to butlins for a few days after their AS levels. Also know at this age several people aged 16ish who go away with friends to festivals for a couple of days without parental supervision

TheGodmother · 19/04/2019 10:39

Blimey I went to llorett du Mar when I was 16, me and my bf. Backpacked round the world at 18!

I know I am now genuinely an old grumpy lady but wtf is wrong with this generation!!!!

A same sex break in this country and it's all pearl clutching!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 19/04/2019 14:58

A holiday post GCSEs is quite a tradition around most parts. Often a festival - Reading. A cottage is probably a safer option tbh

Takethebuscuitandthesink · 19/04/2019 15:27

Sounds lovely

EvaHarknessRose · 19/04/2019 15:34

Sounds nice. My poor parents had to sanction me touring Spain and Portugal with a boyfriend and a motorbike at that age.

Original poster
EleanorLavish · 19/04/2019 15:55

Hardly pearl clutching!
Personally I wouldn’t allow a 16yo to drink, and deffo not without adults around.
I accept that each to their own, was just trying to gauge if I was completely out of touch.

OP posts:
whycantIthinkofadecentusername · 19/04/2019 15:57

Yeah... I went to Ibiza for a week with my friends at 17, maybe my parents were waaayyyy to liberal. Personally I can't see a problem with it, but it would depend on DS, his attitude and mature he is at the time. Only got 10 years to worry about this.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/04/2019 15:57

17 + in this house. I don't know anyone in my group of friends who would be happy with that at 16 due to drinking and potential drug taking.

TheGodmother · 19/04/2019 16:21

@EleanorLavish ahhh good point because teenagers will never drink if there are not adults around! They only have sex at night too.

But in all seriousness can't you see by making a cheeky half cider, dangerous and naughty at 16 then of course it going to be abused. However if kids grow being trusted with alcohol then it's not such a "big thing" to drink alcoholic.

No matter how much this generation try to wrap their dcs in cotton wool and flap about helicopter parenting, the kids are going to have to grow up one day.

But then again maybe not reading some of these posts on MNet! Some of these kids will still be at home at 30!

Which is ok as I'll be dead by then and won't have to read about it ;)

user1487194234 · 19/04/2019 16:30

How can you stop a 17 year old doing that Or indeed anything

user1487194234 · 19/04/2019 16:34

16 year old!

englishdictionary · 19/04/2019 16:36

I don't have a small group of them to allow.

I would have let DD go at that age, but not DS.

Midlifemumofteens · 19/04/2019 22:57

My DD went away with three friends post GCSEs. Two were only 15 and the others 16. They stayed 3 nights in an Air BnB cottage on the coast. They had a great time planning the travel, buying food etc. They were a sensible bunch and the owners of the cottage were (surprisingly!) OK with it. I was worried, but it probably did them all good. If it was my DS on the other hand, I would be saying no - as he is far more likely to be into the drink and drugs! So it depends what you feel comfortable with, really...

Tryingthisonefornow · 19/04/2019 23:01

I went to Spain at 16 for two weeks with friends. All survived perfectly well. Guess it depends on the teens maybe

teenmum1 · 20/04/2019 22:57

Quite a few groups of kids in my DS year did this kind of thing post GCSEs. Knowing some of the kids in my DS year I was pretty amazed that any sane cottage owner would allow it but actually I didn't hear any real horror stories afterwards.

It does depend on the teens in question. I wouldn't have trusted my DS to do this but I have a younger DD and would be fine with her doing it when she is 16. As long as a responsible adult was reasonably nearby to help out in the event of an emergency.

beebreath · 20/04/2019 23:01

16 yr olds our way head to Reading Festival after they've got their GCSE results.

Would rather they rented a cottage than do 4 days at a music festival.

Fairylea · 20/04/2019 23:03

I did it myself but I wouldn’t let dd now aged 16 do it. Yep, very double standards of me! Blush

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