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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

17th Bday party. HELP!!

35 replies

mumzy11960 · 13/04/2019 15:43

My Dd (age 16) has asked for a house party in August as her 17th is in November and doesn't want a party in the cold! I'm not sure if I want one in the house as we would have just got a band new extension. Another thing is my dds friends are all awful when drunk. She's not too bad but the majority are boys and the girls are very popular so worried there would be people from the year above. any ideas about the location for the party and if I should provide drinks etc.. and what to do about drugs as I know that's they all do balloons (laughing gas) and smoke weed.

OP posts:
UCOinanOCG · 13/04/2019 15:44

Just say no then.

Original poster
mumzy11960 · 13/04/2019 15:46

im very close with dd and I don't want her to be upset as she has had a tough year. I'm fine with the idea of her having a party just not sure with all the other stuff

OP posts:
Perty01234 · 13/04/2019 15:47

We’ve vetoed house parties, I’ve seen one of my friends houses after a party and not in my house! Carpets ruined.. sick on duvets... sticky floors! There are plenty of birthdays around his so he can celebrate at someone else’s!

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/04/2019 15:49

No way in those circumstances.

Perty01234 · 13/04/2019 15:53

Ours is also popular, lots of his friends smoke weed, the year above would attend as he knows lots of them. So it’s a veto

Original poster
mumzy11960 · 13/04/2019 15:56

definitely see myself being ridiculous for even thinking about it. exH is very relaxed about it and is considering, do I just let him do it?

OP posts:
sandycloud · 13/04/2019 15:56

Maybe insist on having it near her birthday as then lots of the year above might be away at uni?? My dd had a gathering for her 17th at the house but there were 15-20 of them. We have a pool table in the garage. Those that needed a smoke went out for a walk.

Loopytiles · 13/04/2019 15:57

At his house? Sounds good! You could offer practical help.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 13/04/2019 15:58

At his house absolutely! I won't ever do one, love my home just as it is and I know what I was like at 17!

When my DD gets to that age I'll happily hire a cheapo village hall or something and she can have the party there!

Original poster
mumzy11960 · 13/04/2019 16:00

@Loopytiles yes at his house, although he lets her drink excessive amounts - sourz, vodka etc. I don't really like her drinking as she's quite small and me and DH have never given her drinks when she's at party's so wouldn't know how she reacts to it.

OP posts:
Perty01234 · 13/04/2019 16:06

I’d let her have it at his... honestly the aftermath of the party I helped clear up was horrendous. We spent so long bleaching the kitchen floor, fag ends in place you didn’t know they could get. Chucked out duvets from the bedrooms that were just vile.
Carpets upstairs In bedrooms ruined... she swore never ever ever again.
My advice is now if you value your house or are remotely house proud don’t do it!

Perty01234 · 13/04/2019 16:06

To be honest he can cope with the hangover the next day she will have can’t he? Your DD will already drink lots at parties etc

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/04/2019 16:11

Nope. I also put a ban on house parties at ours after spending hours clearing up the after prom party at a friend's house (so similar age to yours) ….. it was an absolute mess, despite trying to keep them outside in a marquee.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/04/2019 16:12

Plus the responsibility of under age teens drinking and taking drugs … too much hassle.

samlovesdilys · 13/04/2019 16:14

If it was August could you not let them camp in garden??

stucknoue · 13/04/2019 16:15

We had parties for ours - rules we no drugs, no smoking and I provided the booze (decent stuff, better than they would have themselves). Had no problems

Comefromaway · 13/04/2019 16:16

No way.

I would absolutely let dd have a dozen friends round for a party but there would be NO alcohol allowed at all and anyone who looked visibly drunk or high would not get through the front door.

ALannisterInDebt · 13/04/2019 16:24

I would hope that by 17/18 they've stopped being destructive at house parties?

I would not provide drink and I would do a few 'walk- abouts' throughout the night and confiscate any balloons, nos canisters (and the cracker tools they use to open them) if I repeatedly found them doing balloons I'd ask those kids to leave (without causing a scene)

I would also have the party end at a reasonable time (12 or 1) and wouldn't have anyone be sleep over (maybe 1 of her female best friends)

ALannisterInDebt · 13/04/2019 16:26

(When I said I wouldn't provide drink I meant I'd let them bring their own) and have PLASTIC glasses out.

I'm guessing a lot of those saying 'no way' and 'not a drop of alcohol in my house' etc. Don't own any 17 year olds if their own Grin

maxbabi · 13/04/2019 16:37

I let my dd have her 16th at home. I literally cleared the downstairs and garden. November party and most went outside or were in the kitchen.
The grass was ruined but grew back no problem. Kitchen floor was a mess but after 3 mops all good. I couldn't believe how much booze they all brought with them but I only knew after whilst clearing up.
A lot of work and I'm a single mum but according to my dd it was the best night of her life. I don't regret it and we had a lot of drop ins ie. Over 60 kids I think

Comefromaway · 13/04/2019 16:40

On the contrary I have a 15 year old and a 17 year old.

englishdictionary · 13/04/2019 16:42

What do you mean she doesn’t want one in the cold? Can’t you hire a venue rather than have it at home? Where would she be having a party tha is cold?

UCOinanOCG · 13/04/2019 16:46

Actually mine are now 26 and 21. They knew better than to ask for a party at home at that age. DD1 had her 18th at home and it was fine. DD2 never wanted a house party as she saw what happened at other people's houses.

JustDanceAddict · 13/04/2019 17:03

Absolutely not!!! I’d hire somewhere if either of my teens wanted a proper party or it would be a marquee in garden with access to kitchen and downstairs loo only (easy in my house).

Original poster
mumzy11960 · 13/04/2019 18:49

thanks for all the advice- we are never having one at ours!!!! 😂

exH and I have decided, dds party would be at his in the garden and kitchen with a portaloo, I will also be there as we are fine together. Max 50 people and I will take any stray kids home at the end of the night. Dd will also stay at mine with one of her close friends! Thanks guys x

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