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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

16 year old making poor career choices

96 replies

Tulipsdaffodil · 03/03/2019 07:53

I’m a single mum to 16 year old DD. She is very bright and likely to get 8 and 9s in her GCSEs this summer. Her strengths are her sciences, maths and English. Her tutors all suggest sixth form doing A levels in these subjects to give her a wide career choice. She is unsure of what she wants to do as a career.

Instead she is determined to go to college and do A levels in subjects that leave her with no career options other than possibly the police. She is copying her best friend and her choices rather than making her own. She seems unwilling to think beyond college as to how to earn a decent living with a good job. The college will be an hours commute each way for her which will limit the time she would have available to get a job alongside studying, maybe in a pub waitressing.

I can see her making career choices that will not work for her long term, ending up with A levels in subjects that are no use to her. She is a very intelligent, caring and articulate girl who could have lots of options open to her if she picked her next steps carefully but she won’t listen to me or her tutors.

Any advice on how to get through to her over the next six months?

OP posts:
MsOtisRegrets · 03/03/2019 08:44

Is she wanting to take a level 3 vocational course at college - I was thinking something like a BTEC in Public Services?
Sorry, I know you said A levels but you have said which A levels and you mentioned that she was restricting herself to the police.

corythatwas · 03/03/2019 08:51

What are these A-levels that can only lead to a career in the police? I think it would be helpful if you clarified: there are some really experienced MNers out there who might be able to help put things in perspective. Even a BTEC in Uniformed Services doesn't only lead to a career in the police.

oscarmayaweiner · 03/03/2019 08:53

I was an A student and went down the academic route with A levels and degree but what I really wanted was to study fashion. I'm in my 40's now and it's my biggest regret.

SherlockHolmes · 03/03/2019 08:59

Is there any compromise to be made on her subjects? Could she swap just one for a more academic subject?

lljkk · 03/03/2019 09:08

Maybe OP means the DD is doing BTEC in public services. But then why say 'A levels'. That BTEC is useful for many public services, though, not just police. I also didn't think it was fulltime load, there would be others to take in timetable.

0MrsP · 03/03/2019 09:13

If it was my daughter I'd be happy with whatever she chose.
I didn't chose my career until I was 23, I done various course and jobs until that point, I learnt so much! At 23 I went to university using the qualifications my mum said would get me nowhere. I have a degree and a masters and a well paid job.
She's 16, she's a child, she doesn't need to pick her path through life right now.. let her do what she enjoys if she's in education then she really can't go far wrong. Life experience counts for so much, making mistakes etc.
My stepson is refusing to engage in his education he about to fail all his GCSEs despite being a top grade student because he refuses to even try because he thinks he can make it in life as a YouTuber.. lets hope he can because he'll have nothing to fall back on.

corythatwas · 03/03/2019 09:46

lljk, I was wondering the same. There is, however, a BTEC programme in Uniformed Services, which is fulltime. My ds is doing it but has decided he does not want to join the police force or the fire brigade or the army, which are common choices, so will be looking for an apprenticeship- quite a few students do.

oscarmayaweiner · 03/03/2019 09:55

I think she means A levels in subjects like Sociology and Psychology

options19 · 03/03/2019 10:03

I can see the point everyone is making but it is a shame that our children have to make such restrictive choices at the age of 16 Vs other countries who have a more general education up to the age of 18. We know from experience that many people have made the wrong decisions at 16 and regretted them. School careers services vary greatly and young people at 16 aren't given enough information about the whole world of work that exists out there.

Talk through Plan Bs if possible. If she takes the course she wants to take and gets to 18 and wants to follow a different path, would she be prepared to spend another year doing an additional A level (if needed)?

You say she's good at sciences but is she interested in those?

But yes - please tell us what are the A levels?

Original poster
Tulipsdaffodil · 03/03/2019 10:37

She has applied for criminology, sociology and psychology. She has chosen them mainly because she wants to be with her friend at college. She has no interest in the police as a career hence I can’t see what use Criminology would be to her. I’m also so aware that friendships can instantly change after leaving school so i’m concerned that she would make her choices for the wrong reasons.

I have nothing against a career in the police, if she wants this i’ll support her 100%. But she has no real idea yet what she wants to do and her choices will limit her options.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tulipsdaffodil · 03/03/2019 10:40

Does anyone know about possible uses of those a levels? I did wonder if she could add a science as a 4th a level subject, then it might open up more paths. She is really interested and keen on the psychology.

OP posts:
oscarmayaweiner · 03/03/2019 10:40

Isn't the Criminology a diploma, not an A level ? (I might be wrong)

oscarmayaweiner · 03/03/2019 10:42

You need to remind her that there's no guarantee she'll be with her friend as most colleges have several classes running in a subject

corythatwas · 03/03/2019 10:42

I do see your problem with her just going sheepishly with her friend; it's not the best way to go about things. I would lay the burden on her here: rather than tell her outright that these A-levels are wrong, I would tell her that it is her job to research where these normally lead to, what do the students from this college with these A-levels go on to do, is that something she could see herself doing? Treat her more as an adult even if she seems childish atm. Also, as options says, let her think through Plan B. This is good practice for later life, anyway, whether it changes her mind now or not. Just do it in a neutral manner.

Original poster
Tulipsdaffodil · 03/03/2019 10:46

We were told it was an A level at the college open day but I’ll check. I’m probably worrying too much but as her only parent (her dad died when she was a toddler), I feel a huge responsibility to guide her as well as I can. I had no guidance from my parents, I worked in a shop until 23 then after I had DD, I trained to be a vetinary nurse which I love.

OP posts:
JRMisOdious · 03/03/2019 10:47

Our daughter was brilliant academically, truly gifted in sciences, but they left her cold she just wasn’t interested. We pushed her and she gave up completely, lived not a great life for a while and we almost pushed her away.
Several years on, she’s highly qualified in child care, well on the way to management and probably her own nursery one day. We spent years feeling disappointed because we thought she was capable of “better”. We were snobbish and completely wrong, she’s gifted at what she does and making a positive difference in people’s lives.
She’ll never find the cure for cancer (which, of course, we were certain was her destiny!) but she’s very, very happy and we’re immensely proud of her.
Gentle guidance, but yours is her own person now and needs to make her own decisions even if you think they’re the wrong ones.

Onceuponatime21 · 03/03/2019 10:50

Get her to Look at the Russell group informed choices brochure.

If she's still set on her choices then support, as probably better to get excellent grades in more limiting a levels, than just okay grades in more facilitating subjects. (And to do well at a level you do really have to want to do your subject )

In terms of careers, get her doing some work experience in her holidays.

Success at school, all about careers, career pilot, I could , prospects, are all good websites for students. There are others but those come straight to mind.

National careers service does free online advice from careers advisors. She can message or speak to them.

HK20 · 03/03/2019 10:55

I strongly suggest letting her make her own decisions.
My parents (and older siblings) tried to push me to follow the 'right' paths. I lasted 6 weeks in college before quitting because it wasn't right for me.
Fast forward 6 years, I have a great job and a lovely home, and earn more than all of them.

She is old enough to make her own decisions - don't force her into something she doesn't want to do and make her resent you.

MrsJayy · 03/03/2019 10:57

I have a child in the police they did none of those subjects at school and their degree also has nothing to do with any of those subjects at all. You are acting like your childs career path is set in stone they are 16 back away let them mature and grow up you don't have to micromanage their life like this. Fwiw criminology is apparently really popular with teenagers i think it is a morbid interest tbh

Tomtontom · 03/03/2019 10:59

There's nothing wrong with those choices. She could go into law, business, social work, psychology, education. Her options are endless, almost anything outside of science.

Perhaps you need to do some more reading OP, to understand that most university courses do not require you to have done the same subject at A Level.

be47 · 03/03/2019 10:59

Those A-levels would be absolutely fine for lots of humanities/social sciences degrees. Lots of people in graduate jobs do not have A-levels or degrees which are directly linked to their job. If she's as academic as you say, As in those subjects could easily lead to a good degree at a Russell Group university and a wide range of graduate jobs/training schemes. Encourage her to look at all the options, but to be honest if she's interested in those subjects and the prospect of college just let her do it.

suckonthatmaureen · 03/03/2019 11:06

Nothing wrong with those choices. I have similar.

From a cohort with similar social sciences based A-Levels and degrees I know a few business/organisational developers, a forensic analyst in counter terrorism, lecturers, teachers, senior civil servants, lawyers and consultants.
I am a senior policy officer for a large combined authority.

No police officers!

I would however be worried about her following a friend. I'd probably go with than angle, rather than a 'these choices are bad' approach.

anniehm · 03/03/2019 11:19

I'm surprised they allow these as there's overlap. Dropping one in favour of English or history would widen options eg civil service, though remember most jobs require any degree not a specific one.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 03/03/2019 11:22

Criminology isn't 'just for police'. She's got well paired subjects there that will cross over with each other too. What do you think Criminology is?! Its actually quite an interesting subject.
People who study criminology often do forms of youth work, work with local authorities, some with offenders etc etc It's not so much about police work!

How do you know she wants to study them just because her friend is rather than finding it interesting? Her combination is showing an interest in human behaviour, society, cause and effect etc. Absolutely nothing wrong with that!

ShabbyAbby · 03/03/2019 11:24

Sorry but a degree in any of those subjects can lead to loads of different careers
Yes, as A levels they might not but there are plenty of uses for a social science degree
Yes they aren't 'traditional' sciences or humanities but I think that's a degree of snobbery tbh
I think those A levels might open her up to a whole load of degree and career possibilities she hadn't thought of, plus a first in Psychology is (mostly) worry more than a third in physics when it comes to post grad study or graduate schemes
She could do a conversion to social work, youth work, education, become a psychologist etc. Etc. Loads of people use those subjects in business also. It's only narrowing things if she doesn't use it productively. Hell, she could even do a law conversion and end up being a solicitor or barrister. Definitely not 'just' the police. Although that's a great career too

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