Expelled from school with three months to GCSE

[Bigdream]

My son was asked to leave his English boarding school three weeks ago as he was caught smoking cannabis which he had purchase near his school. He is now back home with us, we live in Scandinavia. He is very regretful & feels responsible for throwing away all the incredible opportunities we have worked so hard to give him. This school was his life, he is really into sport & the school was giving him a chance to fulfill his dreams.

The harsh truth is I have to now support my son through the next few months so that he can sit his GCSE's exams. I have put much of my work & business on hold, I have found an examination center in London where he can sit all the exams & online tutors & revision courses during Easter holidays. I also have found a therapist to help him through this big transition in his life.

My main concern is keeping him positive & focused. He is now very isolated at home, studying on his own, going to the gym & still playing some sport with a local team, but for most of the day he is alone. I am at home with him as much as I can be. Social media means that he is still in daily contact with his school friends and he still seems deeply connected to that life, which he will never be part of again.

I feel so sad for him, I know he feels dreadful. Part of me also feels really angry at times that he has done this to himself &
our family. After years of hard work to get him into this school & all the sacrifices, time, energy & logistics.

Home schooling for the next 2 months before the GCSE exams terrifies me & my anxiety is growing, impacting my other children & probably my son. What if he fails all is exams, as an expat I feel so disconnected from other British parents going through GCSEs. I don't have the skills, my GCSEs were more that 28 years ago.

We have no idea where he will go to school next, I have no energy to think about it right now as all we are concern about is the cannabis, vaping & his mental state. He is on nicotine patches & he has a good routine going I think. Any advice would be gratefully received. I feel so unprepared for this scenario and feel guilt as a mother thinking how my son could have made such stupid decisions & risked everything.

Concerned & anxious

Didn’t want to read and run. That sounds really harsh was it a first offence ? My sons school I think would have allowed the child to sit the GCSEs at school while being suspended at home I would imagine the main hurdle is getting him through his GCSEs and seeing what results he gets then approaching other schools to see what their policy is about taking an expelled child. I think if he works on his awareness of his issues and gets good results hopefully 6th form would be a new start ?
Good luck he must feal awful but it’s not the end of the world disappointing and bloody infuriating but it’s a long game

Honestly it's so close to exams he just needs to be studying revision books, some sport or activity once a day and some relaxing - help him have a structure and routine and tell him this is his chance to prove his character to you and everyone - not by passing, necessarily but by knuckling down. I suggest he removes himself from those social networks and I am not sure about counselling unless he wants,/needs it - better to act than to wallow right now, he can do that after exams.

If he doesn't know it by now he is stuffed

Can you get him some tutoring via Skype with teachers who are experienced in GCSES? There are some excellent resources on YouTube he could use. A lot of people swear by Mr. Bruff for English GCSE.

Sounds like you’re doing the right thing.

Don’t worry to much about him feeling bad. He should be at the moment provided he’s channelling that energy into revision and sport.

My one thing to add though is what’s the plan for next year. You need to work out what he will be doing in September and then get him feeling positive about the new route he is about to take.

Get him to do practice papers as often as he can. You should be able to download old papers from the exam board website. To practice exam technique. As well as revision.

English and maths free revision here
www.schoolexams.co.uk/

I would head over to the home education board to find out about online schooling resources. I would also recommend looking at Easter/half term revision courses, if you can afford them. DS had health issues in the sixth form and missed 40% of the syllabus (the entire syllabus for one paper in one subject) and the revision courses were amazing. As well as general revision of the entire syllabus, it gave him confidence in the catch up work he had done and anything he was unsure of he could go through with the tutor. They also had online revision resources. I have a feeling that some of the course providers we looked at offered online 1 to 1 tuition too.

What a nightmare?

It sounds like you are doing the best that you can.

Good luck.

Stay calm.
GCSE courses are for two years - he will have covered all the content by now with the only possible exceptions being hands-on science experiments, completing art, design and photography portfolios.
So GCSE students at my school are revising and completing mock exams.
First steps would be to knock on the head any extranious subjects, stick to a basic core of 5 or 6.
English (lang and lit = 2), maths (skip further maths unless he is extremely bright) History or Geography-which ever he has done to date, combined science (counts as two - triple science is a total nightmare avoid like the plague)if he is competant at a second language that could be an esy win, even being a bit crap he'll probably still get grade 4 so worth a punt.
Avoid anything arty or portfolio based as getting these assessed is a total nightmare and to be honest he's got a lot more on his plate that needs attention.

With a mid-range crop of GCSE's he'll be able to access an apprenticeship which would be a much better next step than full-time college.

So

That’s a very harsh punishment. I guess that the most important thing is keeping his mental health well and supporting him with the isolation. I am sorry that I don’t have practical advice but you sound like an amazing mum and hopefully your ds wikl get through this with your support.

Have you made sure all the exams he is entered for are the same exams boards he was studying for? ie my son's history is OCR whereas his cousin is AQA.

Firstly, I am sorry about your son. Secondly, there is a whole heap of resources online, lots of YouTube videos and past papers etc.

Post in both Home Education and Secondary Education. If you want pointing toward specific subjects just ask and we'll help as best we can. Mr Bruff is fantastic for English Lit, FreeScience lessons and Primrose Kitten for science, Hegarty Maths or Corbett Maths.

I don't know how much his school will have gone through with him, he should have practically finished all topics now and started revision in school. Mark schemes for specific wording of answers (AQA Science I am looking at you) will help too, again available online.

are you allowed to home school where you are?
I know many countries have compulsory schooling until age 18.

That’s a very harsh punishment.

Totally disagree. The school would have been very clear on its drugs policy.

I guess you do the best you can. Is there an equivalent of FE in Scandinavia where he could redo his GCSE's combined with a BTec equivalent type course. He will just have to work to a slightly different trajectory and hopefully it's a lesson well learnt.

If he's on nicotine patches I'm guessing the cannabis was the final straw. Is there anything else going on - ADHD, BPD, etc? Therapy sounds like a good starting point to me. Being expelled is serious stuff. Perhaps he needs a year to become grounded and sort himself out.

Have you looked at online schools! Interhigh do Alevels which might be an option for next year.

That’s a very harsh punishment

I think that's a pretty standard punishment although unclear whether he smoked the cannabis or on site or off.

What did you expect? You've packed him off to boarding school in a different country during his most formative years, and now talk about the sacrifices you've made to send him there. I'm amazed that he's not been arrested!
You need to get him into school at home, give him a good bollocking and find a college near to home for the next phase in his education. I'm afraid you won't win parent of the year award just because you threw money at his education.

Completely agree with @Soontobe60 - he doesn't need therapy, he needs a bollocking and to get on with revising.

It is a harsh punishment, I have three dc is different schools. Private and state, pupils have been suspended for smoking cannabis. Expelling and removing the ability to even come back for exams in harsh in my experience.

I have to wonder if the ‘give him a good kicking/bollocking’ school of helpful advice are parents of toddlers who would never do such a thing.

Mine haven’t but there but for the grace of god etc.

Most schools would have a permanent exclusion policy for drugs found or smoked on premises. What they do off premises is a different matter, but a school has to uphold a strong anti-drugs stance.
As for the gcse issue - def make sure the boards are the same as he’s been doing already, there’s plenty of time to revise between now and May and a lot of online resources.

I’d look at online schools based in UK. My friends son was out of school with medical needs and did his GCSEs this way and got excellent grades. There’s also ones with a virtual classroom so the children can interact online with teacher / each other. It will also give him structure if he has to ‘attend’ classes at set times from home and submit homework.

This sounds so hard on you all.

He needs to connect with some local home friends. He needs to have plans and goals. And he needs support studying.