How would your teenager react if you kindly asked them to wash 5 plates???

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

My 14 year old is so lazy and wont do anything. Ive let him play the xbox all day, ive cooked him tea, made him dessert and kindly asked if he could wash the desert dishes whilst i had a bath. His reply what am I getting out of it? Id better get paid then he said nah actually Im not doing it for 50p. Im not doing it!! I am so annoyed. We pay for jobs around the house and refuses to do anything. He lives off birthday and Christmas money which he just wastes on sweets and food if he goes out with his mates. He just has such a rubbish attitude.

Afraid I agree with others. If you pay for jobs, you are giving out the message that they are optional and deserve payment.

Our DC understand that we expect them to pitch in and do a few jobs because this makes it easier and nicerfor everyone.
In answer to your question, it woukd depend on whether I'd interrupted something crucial. We might get some Mona ing back but the dishes would get washed, though not necessarily straight away

As younger teens they would’ve just got on with it.

Now they will say, “Yes, in a minute.” The minute can last quite a long time, but I bite my lip as long as the job gets done. It’s their way of showing me they are in charge of their choices.

I agree with others; when he wants a lift etc., just ask him what’s in it for you.

Mine would do it without a murmur. But a few years ago they would moan, complain, refuse and one finally cry. Really! Finally I called a house meeting where all the jobs in the house were analysed each each got one regular task eg hoover the hall, stairs and landing, PLUS the evening dishwasher. They were unhappy about it for weeks, and fought with each other over it too, but they just did it eventually, more so the dishes. They do it automatically and happily now, although one has left. I still have to remind about the other jobs.

DS14 does the dishes and dishwasher/wiping surfaces etc every night after dinner. Also does his own laundry (not ironing) and "cleans" his bedroom and bathroom (never well enough)

He moans THE WHOLE TIME but he does it because he knows if he doesn't his PS4 disappears for a fortnight

Carrot + stick

Mine would moan but do it. We have a cleaning up rota for after dinner that we more or less adhere to.
I have paid DD for extra chores like ironing as a one-off.

At 14 my Ds would try every trick in the book not to do it but would make me laugh! I would ( and still do!) point out that he could have done them 10 mins ago

It was always good natured though and they got done.

Mine would do it.. No moans or grumbles
I made it clear early on, that I work hard, they have lovely lives with many good things and we are a team.. So they do stuff for all of us.. Just as I go to work to earn money for all of us.
I am endlessly shocked by how many parents let teens play xbox all day and then "ask them if they could please do xyz"... No you are the adult here, don't ask them... Tell them

Second all the posters saying that you need to stop paying your DS to contribute to your household.

My DC help me because I brought them up that way. They know I'm not a domestic servant and it would be awful if I was catering to their every need like a slave and they did fuck all.

You need to change the dynamic with your teen and let him know that there are consequences for not helping out. As I tell mine, if I'm too knackered from doing everything, then I won't be able to pick them up from their party later on and they know I mean it too!!!!

"It's not my job" is what my dss (11) says, I also tell him not is it my job either but I still do it, like cleaning the toilet and washing his clothes are also not his dad nor my "job" yet it still gets done. Then he grumbles something under his breath and does it very very slowly

Mine are free to refuse to do chores and I’m free to ban screens in response. They soon start being helpful if you stick to your guns.

I tell mine that if they say no to everything they can’t expect me to feel happy with them and I’m extremely unlikely to say yes to them when they ask me for something/do something for them.

They might still grumble about chores but they all get done.

I remember DP asking DS1 who was around 13 and very grumpy at the time to take the laundry upstairs and just put it on the bed and we'll sort it out.
He was going up stairs anyway! The amount of moaning he did! We had comments like 'I'm just a slave in this house, I'm expected to do EVERYTHING!

He is 22 now but we like to bring it up every now and then for a laugh!

I am a SAHM and no-one pays me to do chores so the children have never been paid either.

From 4 and in school they were responsible for taking their plastic plate and plastic cup from the table into the kitchen, helped scrape the plate and put it into the dishwasher. This is what they do at school, they are responsible for their lunch tray (minus the dishwasher bit) a dinner person doesn't do it for them like some pampered prince.

Then it progressed to wiping out the bathroom sink after they have used it, stripping beds, putting bedding back on.

They are now almost 16 and 13. Both boys, they set the table, help make dinner, clear the table at the end and wipe it down. They have to stay in the kitchen with me and DH helping until all dinner stuff has been dealt with like hand washing pans.

They also empty a bin each on a set day (never a full bin in this house) and put the bin out for the bin truck on their way to school. Doesn't matter if it is raining as they are heading out the door anyway.

They also help unpack shopping and put it away. It is called learning to be an adult.

Their "reward" for their helpfulness is they get to game/watch YouTube/TV because you do not reward bad behaviour.

Your son doesn't need the money hence why he can choose not to do the chores you set, but by God I bet he would if you removed his x-box. You pay for the electricity probably his phone so cut him off.

Completely agree with everything Babdoc said. If asked to wash some dirty dishes my teenagers would do it because I haven't spoilt them by making them feel entitled.