Teenager out of control and violent (Aspergers)

[paulfoel]

Posted about him many times I'm sure....

15 now, big lad. Got a diagnosis of Aspergers.

Not sure if its related to Aspergers or just general bad teenager behaviour. Like most he doesn't listen, makes a mess, is moody and stroppy. Normal I guess. One thing is he generally believes hes so hard done by and thinks we pick on him. In all honestly, he gets away with murder.

We try not to get into arguments with him. We warn him then we remove PC priveleges. But he wont take and gets VERY aggressive. He just cannot control himself. In the past, hes been violent towards me.

Today, after some typical lazy behaviour that he'd been warned for, he got a 1 day ban. Then he got in my wifes face in a very threatening way. Thing is he would have been back on there by tommorow but hes made it 1000x times worse now.

Hes a big lad. What do I do here? Yes understand teenagers can be a nightmare but surely being aggressive towards your mother is just a bit too far.

Ultimately, I can see me calling the Police one day and getting him arrested.

How to deal?

Op I am reading this you could have described my almost 14 year old D's. I gave called the police, local copper called had a chat and explained what happens to boys who continue down that path. It did nothing except make him resent us more because we "hate him" "want him gone" "want him arrested and we will finally be rid of him". Everything is always our fault, ye never takes responsibility for his actions.
I have called ss as well for a self referral, they put us on to a family support programme (I am in Ireland) it so far has involved a meeting with school for SS, us and school..for me to go on a parenting course and that's about it. I don't know the answers I am tired, I am drained, I feel at a loss and despair at the person he is becoming. He has ASD diagnosed with odd but I'm sure it's PDA.

UPDATE - been to see CAMHS again too.

Only trouble is get conflicting advice. The psych at CAMHS is telling us he understands consequences and we have to lay it on the line that he can't continue his behaviour whereas the guy at the charity says he doesnt understand.

Cheeeeislifenow

Same as us. We're pretty sure its PDA too.

I fear the same would happen if we called the Police. Wouldnt sink in.
Also, I have a bit of a fear that SS will either be useless or make it worse.

Hope it gets better for you....

I got aspergers and my mother kicked me out and got me arrested two months after my 16th birthday and stayed with various families till i turned 18 and during all that time she thought i was being helped but i spent the whole two years drinking alone in my bedroom and at parks and after my 18th birthday i got moved into a hostel and after a couple months was evicted because of a drunken fight meaning i was made homeless i was really lucky to be helped from the council, it is a dark life to lead, I am 19 now and barely hanging onto a job and i live in isolation with no family around me due to my explosive behaviour in my early teenage years, if i could go back and visit my 15 year old self and give him an insight into how rough life would be in just a few mere years, I think i would of definitely hugged my mother and treated her better and started concentrating on school

@datkins have you tried reaching out to your mother I bet she would love to have a relationship with you

I have many times but even now i can't get through the front door, i think it is for the best to keep a distance now, i hate it how far this has went

It is why i feel so much for these other guys on this forum because i relate 100% but its not till you fuck up big time till you realise the damage that has been caused

datkins - thanks for the insight.
Its hard I guess. Looking at from a parents point of view - like I said Im sure your mother didnt want to kick you out. It gets to that point though - as you know full well.

Hope you can sort things out in the future....

Parents of teens, do you ever wish you’d never had children? I loved being a mum when they were younger. It wasn’t easy -my son has ASD/ADHD but we had fun. I loved caring for them & they loved me. Now they are 17 & 14. They never ask how my day was or how I am. I’ve never been offered food or a cup of tea. They don’t help around the house, don’t put on laundry, expect everything done for them. My son spends his entire life on the internet - mostly on extreme comminist Reddit/YouTube etc. Skips classes. Doesn’t do homework. Due to fail his exams. He’s dependent, diagnosed anxious & has no friends & goes from giving me a hug to (mostly) treating me with utter contempt & aggressive rudeness. I can’t see a happy ending for him & feel constant anxiety, stress & dread. Daughter is also on her phone all the time. Doing ok at school but only seems to speak to me to ask me to spend money on her & she sneers at me. I guess the latter is normal but it’s so exhausting & joyless. I feel like a servant. Went for lunch at the weekend with childless friends who have money, spontaneous holidays, a peaceful happy life & I felt so envious. Never thought I’d say this, but think if I went back in time, I wouldn’t have kids. Anyone empathise?

Sorry. New here. Thought I was starting a new thread. Useless at this too, it seems.

Not useless at all @Wlisa. Sorry you are having a hard time too. If you report your posts they can be deleted, copy them first & then you can start a new thread.