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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Drug dealers threatening me at my home

71 replies

Butterflybelly · 20/01/2019 23:03

I feel sick with anxiety about this. Two men intimidated me at my home tonight saying my 16 year old owes them money. I tried to stand my ground and get them to leave. They left saying they had tried to resolve it peacefully but clearly that wasn’t working. I do not know what to do. I live alone with my son. I have no one nearby to help. I don’t have the money to pay them and don’t know if I should anyway. I do not know what to do or who to turn to.

OP posts:
Theunsungsong · 20/01/2019 23:19

Do you honestly think they are going to stop at £200? I've seen this through working for children's services, and paying off the dealers never ends well.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 20/01/2019 23:19

They probably will go away if he owes them money and he pays it. They have added their interest on by the sounds of it.

CrumpBrunette · 20/01/2019 23:20

Drug dealers generally leave you once the debt is paid, why wouldn't they? I'd be telling your son if there's a situation like this ever again then he can live elsewhere.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 20/01/2019 23:21

Hopefully your son will be suitably ashamed that you have been dragged into this, and also a wake up call to him about how dangerous drug debts are.

The police won’t be interested. But the dealers and their nasty mates will be very interested if they think you have grassed them up.

Get your son to ring them, and put you on the phone, explain that you will pay the debt but it will need to be instalments as you don’t have the full amount.

Original poster
Butterflybelly · 20/01/2019 23:22

I do think they will leave him alone once he’s paid it. I won’t pay it because I don’t want them thinking I’m scared and will bail him out. He will have to earn the money himself. If they continued to intimidate me I would definitely take a different approach.

OP posts:
elle1111112 · 20/01/2019 23:28

Yes an old debt. My son tells me he’s been avoiding it and hoped it would just go away

You need to try and pay it then. Is there anyone who could lend you the money? Could you get an overdraft?

Do you really think if you pay up they’ll go away?

Why wouldn't they? OP has admitted the son DOES owe them £120. So it's not like they've fashioned out of thin air that they're owed money. Informing the police could make her a much bigger target. Our justice system is a joke so it's not like you can rely on them to keep OP safe. I'm not saying it's right.

I would try and pay it OP. If after that they come back then I'd go to the Police because you'd run out of options, but I'd pay it first.

elle1111112 · 20/01/2019 23:29

I do think they will leave him alone once he’s paid it. I won’t pay it because I don’t want them thinking I’m scared and will bail him out. He will have to earn the money himself

Can't you just pay it then make your son pay you back so you can get them off your back?

CrispbuttyNo1 · 20/01/2019 23:29

They will leave him alone once it’s paid. At the end of the day legal or not they just want money for the goods he has had. Tell them that they are not to give him any more on tick (loan) . They are unlikely to let him have anything again anyway as they don’t like having to go chasing debts and take risks like this.

ZogTheOrangeDragon · 20/01/2019 23:31

OP, I can understand you not wanting to go to the police but you are otherwise enabling your son’s drug taking and getting into debt with dealers.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 20/01/2019 23:37

And if she does go to the police she’s setting herself and her son up for a lot of shit. Is it really worth that?

Lalliella · 20/01/2019 23:41

They will leave him alone once it’s paid. At the end of the day legal or not they just want money for the goods he has had. Tell them that they are not to give him any more on tick (loan) . They are unlikely to let him have anything again anyway as they don’t like having to go chasing debts and take risks like this.

This is probably some of the worst advice I’ve ever seen on here. Drug dealers love giving people drugs on tick. Then they are beholden to them, and they can threaten them and draw them in further. They love chasing debts and scaring people, it gives them a feeling of power and they can extort more money.

Pay them, then shop them and your son to the police. All parties are committing criminal offences. You need to sort your son out now or you’ll have a lifetime of this. Believe me, I have first hand experience of it.

Original poster
Butterflybelly · 20/01/2019 23:42

Zog I do understand what you’re saying but I’m jot enabling and I’m definitely not paying it. He will have to learn. If I thought they would harm him or me I would pay it but I think they probably just want their money back. I have friends who work in the criminal justice system. I’ll talk to them tomorrow and see what they think. I am anxious but I doubt they’re going to take a risk by harming me or my son. Now that I know about it Ill have to do something.

OP posts:
PlumpSyrianHamster · 20/01/2019 23:44

Pay them.

chuffnstuff · 20/01/2019 23:45

You do know these scum bags are capable of anything, however 'small' the debt is?

Original poster
Butterflybelly · 20/01/2019 23:46

I’m sorting my son out. He’s doing well which is one of the reasons why I will not go to the police. I won’t be ‘shopping’ anyone at this stage.

OP posts:
TrixieFranklin · 20/01/2019 23:46

Either call the police or call them. They are the only two options. If you can't do one, do the other. If you can't do either than you find a way to.

TrixieFranklin · 20/01/2019 23:46

Call the police or pay them*

Original poster
Butterflybelly · 20/01/2019 23:47

I don’t know anything about the ‘scum bags’. I don’t know them. I’ve definitely known weed dealers. They’re not all the same. I’m not dismissing the fact they might be a huge risk to me and my son but I’m not immediately jumping to that conclusion.

OP posts:
CrispbuttyNo1 · 20/01/2019 23:48

And I have had first hand experience too. Most dealers won’t give small personal amounts to people who they have to chase up the debt for.

If they are supplying to someone who is then selling it on, i agree, they will keep giving them more to “help them pay off their debt” . But if this is just a teen who bought half an ounce of weed for personal use (which would be about that amount of cash) they don’t want the hassle of going chasing it like this.

Original poster
Butterflybelly · 20/01/2019 23:57

Thanks for listening everyone. I really do appreciate it. I must try to sleep. I’ll think about it tomorrow. Night

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 20/01/2019 23:58

So he pays off this debt? By finding " some work". And what next?

InSightMars · 21/01/2019 01:07

He’s 16 ffs how old can the debt be? Call the cops, they won’t be interested in going after your son, again, he’s 16, they want the dealers.

Other than that there’s nothing anyone here can do to help you. Call the cops or suck up the threats and the leeching from these bastards.

endofthelinefinally · 21/01/2019 01:36

People are assuming a level of competence from the police.
Not something one can do these days.
I speak from bitter experience.
I too would advise paying if you possibly can and getting your son as far away as possible for a while.

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 21/01/2019 06:08

If it was my 16 year old son I'd pay it immediately. Interest will be added daily. I'd not inform the police and I'd make sure my son paid me back every penny
I knew a dealer locally who broke someones legs with a baseball bat for a £20 debt, dealers have to be seen not to be soft with any debt or they wouldn't stay in business.
For those saying call the police, I don't believe you have any idea of how dealers operate. Even if the dealer was charged and even if they received a custody sentence the debt is still owed plus the boy has become a grass. Life wouldn't be worth living

itsbritneybiatches · 21/01/2019 07:47

Op

You need to pay off this debt. They will come back. It's not like a wonga Loan or something.

These people will have purchased their product from another dealer above them so they have someone to pay also and won't want to pay it from their own profit.

People who go into this business have no problem enforcing payment with violence in some way. After all it's not like they can take their customers to a small claims court is it? So that's the only way they can enforce people to pay debts, if they didn't all of their customers would just swerve paying.

I would pay it. Your sons admitted he's in debt to them so it's not like they are trying to scam you as such.