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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14yo crying but doesn’t know why

49 replies

BookishCat · 04/01/2019 17:26

Does anyone have any experience of a teenager crying without knowing why?

DD1 is 14 and says she occasionally cries (or feels like crying) for no reason. She says it generally happens when she’s in bed at night. I only found out about this because it happened this afternoon after I’d caught her using her tablet in her room (not allowed), but she said that the tears weren’t really about that.

I don’t know how worried to be. Maybe she is just hormonal? She is a a very well-behaved and slightly anxious girl in general. I thought she seemed generally OK so this has surprised me.

Any experience? I guess I’m hoping people will say this is normal and will pass...

OP posts:
2cats2many · 04/01/2019 17:27

I'd say hormones.

Elfinablender · 04/01/2019 17:31

Sometimes crying for no reason made me feel better when I was a teenager. It was a way to decompress. I used to watch Dawson's Creek to give me a good excuse to bawl my eyes out. I was ok, I turned out fine.

SarahET · 04/01/2019 17:32

Could be hormones or a way to release built up anxieties/stress? Or she does know why she's upset and doesn't want to talk about it?

I think I sometimes feel like this too and I'm 30+ Smile

GVmama · 04/01/2019 17:50

Definitely hormones. I remember doing it, and my DS who's 12 has started it already!

Original poster
BookishCat · 04/01/2019 17:57

Thank you guys, this is reassuring. I have a terrible fear of her becoming depressed. Not sure why.

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LynetteScavo · 04/01/2019 21:24

I think it's normal. I'm in my 40s and hope to grow out of it one day. Hmm

Bathbombs · 04/01/2019 21:25

Normal. Hormones.
It’s why weepy films were invented

EvaHarknessRose · 04/01/2019 21:30

Give her some good self care ideas to use when she feels that way (teaching emotion regulation) like

  • come and ask you for a cuddle or a cup of tea
  • curl up under a snuggly blanket with a favourite book or show
  • if there is an issue, write about it in a diary or talk to Mum/Dad/friend
  • remember emotions pass after a bit
  • spend time with family
  • plan something nice
Loopytiles · 04/01/2019 21:33

Hormones, tiredness? I was often like this as a teen, and am also an emotional adult! Agree with the PP about self care, some help with learning about that would’ve been great.

slappinthebass · 04/01/2019 21:37

My first thought was hormones, but actually I was depressed child and used to do this a lot, from younger than her. It stopped when I was about 22 and I've never had depression since. I had other symptoms of depression than just crying for no reason though.

whatsnewchoochoo · 04/01/2019 22:24

Probably hormones. I cried for months every day for no reason at all as a teenager. Worried my mum sick but it really was only hormones

potatoscone · 04/01/2019 22:30

Is it in line with period? Or week before?

Original poster
BookishCat · 04/01/2019 22:58

I’m reassured to hear it can just be a thing on its own. I don’t think she really has other signs of depression, though she can be reluctant to socialise so sometimes I worry a bit. I’ve asked her to try and keep track of when it happens so we can see whether it is premenstrual. This time I think it must be - she has skipped a period and must be due any moment.

OP posts:
potatoscone · 04/01/2019 23:29

She has skipped a period and her next is due? Or she is just late?

Pregnant test?

Original poster
BookishCat · 05/01/2019 09:09

She has skipped a period and the next is due. But there is no way she is pregnant. She won’t talk to boys, let alone do anything else with them, and I have to pretty much force her to organise socialising with her friends.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 05/01/2019 09:12

She feels lonely.

Inkspellme · 05/01/2019 09:15

My dd did this at that age. My ds too - on a lesser scale. I think it’s hormonal.

BertrandRussell · 05/01/2019 09:19

“Thank you guys, this is reassuring. I have a terrible fear of her becoming depressed”
If you feel this way, please don’t just assume it’s hormonal. It probably is, but depression is often missed in teenagers. How is she at school?

potatoscone · 05/01/2019 09:36

She has skipped a period and the next is due.

But there is no way she is pregnant.

I hope not, but you are incredibly naive to assume there is no way she could be pregnant.

Original poster
BookishCat · 05/01/2019 09:37

She’s quiet at school and doing well academically. She has a small group of nice friends but tells me she doesn’t want to spend too much time socialising as she needs down time.

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Original poster
BookishCat · 05/01/2019 09:38

Truly, I am not incredibly naive.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 05/01/2019 09:39

She’s a teenager. They do it.

potatoscone · 05/01/2019 09:41

Truly, I am not incredibly naive.

To not consider pregnancy as a possibility? I think you are tbh.

SnuggyBuggy · 05/01/2019 09:41

Teen pregnancy rates are a lot lower these days.

It's probably a combination of hormones and also I think teens are often discovering more adult emotions which can sometimes come out in things like unexplained crying. It's an intense time.

Original poster
BookishCat · 05/01/2019 09:46

I can see why, to a stranger and on the basis of a few words on a screen, it might look as though I’m being naive, but in reality, in this situation, pregnancy is the least likely possibility.

I think it is just her being a teenager and a rather internal, intense person who doesn’t release her emotions in many other ways. But I shall be watchful.

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