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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 Year old daughter not showering - read on Internet we shower too much!

36 replies

soulsurfer64 · 17/11/2018 21:29

My 17 year old is no trouble at all, never have to push her re homework or revising, lovely nature, kind etc but despite several discussions she isn't showering every day, can go up to 3 days and then we have to keep on.
She is quite intelligent and when I asked her why she doesn't want to shower she has told me that she has read several articles on the Internet that say that we - humans, shower too much. Scientists and academics have undertaken studies and there is no need to shower every day, it drys out the skin and kills off good bacteria and makes us more prone to illness and infection. I explained that she is 17, she sweats a lot, she has greasy hair and has regular periods. That certain areas of our bodies need to be washed every day. I said if she has an issue with washing her arms, legs, body for fear of them 'drying' out (she has no dry skin problems) then she can stand in front of the sink and have a wash with a flannel of her under arms, her private areas (back and front) and feet. The look she gave me said 'not doing that'. I said for the sake of having a 10-15 minute shower why would she want to have a flannel wash? She persisted, in a calm manner to explain the information on the Internet. I got nowhere. She has an elder sister (+7 years) who has always showered daily, so is a good example, but in response to me telling her that, she said 'well we are not alike in several ways and this is no different'. I gave up and walked out (before I screamed). What am I to do? I'm planning on another discussion where I explain that I don't agree with the amount of time teenagers spend on their devices. That I've had a look at some information on the Internet that confirms my concerns so I will be restricting her access to her devices effective immediately! Anyone had a similar problem and how did you handle it?

OP posts:
Mookatron · 17/11/2018 21:35

I haven't had a similar problem but I can tell you I got horrible boils on my arse and inner thighs from not showering enough.

However, if she doesn't smell is just leave it. She's clearly trying to push your buttons. Are you a neat freak?

SprogletsMum · 17/11/2018 21:40

She's right though. Unless you're especially energetic, no one needs to shower every day. Some people want to and that's fine, some people don't and that's equally fine.

Hideandgo · 17/11/2018 21:41

Does she smell? She doesn’t need a shower every day if she doesn’t. It’ll dry her skin out and kill off the good bacteria (as well as double the amount she destroys the environment). 😂

Hideandgo · 17/11/2018 21:42

Can I also add that I like her already.

MrsChollySawcutt · 17/11/2018 21:43

I think you need to back off. Not showering for a couple of days wont kill her. Her body, her choice.

You are the adult here, ranting, shouting and stamping your feet is not the right behaviour to demonstrate. How is she supposed to respect that?

candlefloozy · 17/11/2018 21:45

I shower every other day. It really dries my skin out and I don't like moisturising. But I'd never leave it longer than that.

dementedpixie · 17/11/2018 21:45

It's her problem not yours so if leave her to it

booellesmum · 17/11/2018 21:45

She's 17. Let her make her own informed decision. This is really something I wouldn't choose to battle over.

Possumfish · 17/11/2018 21:46

She's right! You don't need to shower everyday. And unless she smells I'd leave her be. I don't shower everyday either! And I've never had any complaints. Also she's helping save the environment! :)

explodingkitten · 17/11/2018 21:46

She is right though, we do shower too much. I agree with her although I can't give up my daily shower because I like it so much. At 17 she is almost an adult and I don't think that it is your business anymore how often she showers.

IdaBWells · 17/11/2018 21:49

On the other hand, if she times herself and just has a quick 5 minutes shower or less (which is more than enough time to throughly wash yourself) that actually takes very little water. Obviously washing and rinsing shampoo and conditioner out takes longer but that would not be as frequent. But again if she practices it’s amazing how quickly you can shower properly in a short space of time.

Noonemournsthewicked · 17/11/2018 21:53

Unless she smells then she's right. We do shower too much.
I'd leave her to it.

Pebblespony · 17/11/2018 21:56

People do shower too much. Especially with the sedentary lifestyles we lead these days. She's 17, old enough to make up her own mind.

Runnynosehunny · 17/11/2018 21:57

I read this interesting article about an historian studying Tudor hygiene habits. They believed washing with water was harmful, but the author found regular changes of absorbent linen underwear worked well to keep clean and smell free. newrepublic.com/article/129828/getting-clean-tudor-way

12christmaswishes · 17/11/2018 21:59

She's nearly 17 surely she is old enough to be making these choices for herself 😕

12christmaswishes · 17/11/2018 21:59

*nearly 18 (sorry)

Cachailleacha · 17/11/2018 22:02

She's almost an adult, so unless you are worried she is not showering because of depression or other mental illness, or it is affecting other members of the household, then let her make her own desision.

I only shower every other day in the cooler months, unless I have my period.

EmeraldVillage · 17/11/2018 22:02

Unless she is actually smelly leave her alone.

corythatwas · 19/11/2018 08:19

I thought you were going to say "never washes", but if she is actually showering every 3 days, that is perfectly healthy and unless she smells and is a nuisance to other people, I would say that sounds like a good regime. When I was young, 2 baths a week were standard.

crimsonlake · 19/11/2018 08:26

Agree we shower too much, but I do think she needs to wash her bits daily.

twattymctwatterson · 19/11/2018 08:29

I don't think at 17 you can restrict her access to her devices because of accurate information she read online. She's almost an adult and you need to be loosening off on the control. Comparing her to her sister in this discussion was also completely wrong

AgathaRaisinDetra · 19/11/2018 08:31

What would you say if the OP had said that she did smell?

theworldistoosmall · 19/11/2018 08:37

Such a shame the op clearly didn’t like the responses and hasn’t come back.

halcyondays · 19/11/2018 08:37

Nobody will ever thank you for pointing out their sister as a good example.

Plenty of people don't shower every single day, it's her choice.

elizabethdraper · 19/11/2018 08:38

She is absolutely right. Even if you take away the removal of good bacteria and destroying your skin - there is a worldwide shortage of water.

Then there is all chemicals bringing rubbed into our largest organ and we wonder why cancer is on the increase.

Then there is the horror of all those chemicals being washed into our rivers and seas which ends up in our food chain which us back to cancer.

She sounds like a very smart girl

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