Would you allow your DD to take time off school for period pains?

[PinkandGreenFish]

DD is 13 and currently sitting in the bath; she's supposed to be getting ready for school.

She had a day off (so 2 days off) for each period she has already had since going back.

I do provide her with pain relief, etc. and tell her if they get really bad, I can come and pick her up.

She's demanding she just can't get out the bath yet, so idk what to do. I don't think I can let her have another day off, can I?

Thanks

I haven’t read all the replies but I just wanted to say my periods were horrific when I first started them.
Really heavy and painful for the first day or two.
I would faint and be sick at school because of them. They did eventually calm down and became tolerable.
So maybe it’s just her body adjusting

Oh yes, I remember now at that age that periods also gave me diarrhea (sp?)

God they were awful.

I'm dreading my dd starting her periods. And now I'm thinking about it, I will let her stay off school, as they are bloody horrendous!

So happy that I don't have them anymore...

Mine were so painful I'd be sick and have diarrhoea too. I'd be up most of the night and would be knackered for school the next day.

I'd keep her off school and take her to a GP.

I went on the pill at a young age and it helped me function. You can also try Mefenamic acid but I don't know if she is too young for that. Ask the GP.

Mine were so bad at that age I used to get sent home from school regularly, which sounds great but it would of been a lot nicer to just stay in the fucking bath. Totally agree with pp that they were like early labour pains, and also pp that would we send a boy in to school in that condition!? Let her stay off and take her to the doctors.

Let her stay off

I started mine about 10 and by 12/13 they were unbearable. DM would buy the stick on heat pads and feminax tablets and I could get through the day but every now and then it still didn’t help. We went doctors and they ended up putting my on the pill and it made a massive difference. I know it might not be for everyone but it’s an idea maybe?

take her to the gp.

slighg period pain is normal for many women. crippling pain is not.

does the school have adequate toilets (i.e. single sex and clean)? is she maybe afraid about changing pad at school?

I started mine at 10 and they were unbearable for about 5 years. My mum took me to the doctors but no amount of medication helped. I was written off for 4 or 5 days each month. Thankfully school were understanding and I was able to keep up. It was far from ideal though.

Having been there myself, I would say that if you're sure she's genuine and you can see she's in pain, then yes let her take the day off. Take her to the doctors though, because she shouldn't have to put up with this. Talk to school too so they know what's going on and what you're doing about it.

I’m a send them to school whatever advocate but my girls had at least one day off, usually two and some three becatheir periods were so painful. They needed codeine, naproxen, buscopan, hot water bottles and still spent the time curled up in a bowl on the sofa. If they went to school they ended up fainting or vomiting and got sent home or to the san. The pill helped a bit with one and implant seems to have eased the other to more manageable levels - not least far fewer periods.
GPs can rule out a large cyst or something with ultrasound but then prescribe better analgesia. Take her along, poor girl.

Yip take her to the doctor.

The way things are going with mixed sex toilets and draconian rules about using the toilet during lessons I imagine girls having to stay home during periods will become more common.

My daughter has horrible period pains as I did. But I always insisted she went to school, took painkillers and we went to the doctors to get prescribed help - in the end she tried the pill but none of the ones she tried were helpful re her cycle.

I explained that many women experience it and you can't have a quarter of women under 50 not going to work each week. We have to learn to function and cope. She's much better at managing it now - though on the first two days of her period she might go to bed with a water bottle after school. We all have to learn to cope.

DD suffers from menstrual migraines, we saw the GP who put her on the pill. Life changer.

Please don't try to minimise this for her, see the GP ASAP, but for today, let her stay off.

I think let her have a day off and take her to GP if you do think they're abnormally bad. It must be very difficult for a 13 year old to know what is abnormally bad period pain though.

To those saying work places wouldn't allow this level of sickness etc, she's 13. Presumably hasn't been having periods for that long and she will learn how to best manage them as we all have (because we are adults and have been having periods for 15+ years)

My mum let me have time off sick as a teenager for period pain, I had awful pain and was put on the pill at 14 I also hated the first really heavy day being at school in a skirt and with rules of going to the loo and wouldn't go to the loo on my own at that age (goodness knows why I was too nervous to go in alone because of who else was in there) anyway I still got good grades and went to university and have a successful career despite having a day off most months; reading, watching tv and eating chocolate.

Jeez- period pains are shit aren’t they?

I can remember in one of my first freelance jobs having to lie under the desk I was in such agony. So embarrassing.

I’d give her a break - even if you’re going to have them for decades it still takes some getting used to.

Doctors too. Don’t let her suffer because ‘that’s what happens if you’re a woman’ - that’s how we get ourselves into the mindset where doctors dismiss really debilitating pain as ‘just’ women’s problems

I used to have periods so heavy and painful I'd faint when I was a teenager. I used to have a day off every month for the worst day. If you think she's being serious and otc pain relief isn't sorting it I'd let her havr tje day off but take her to the Dr to talk about managing her periods.

Anna I still get diarrhoea with my period every month and did when I was young, and having an upset stomach at that age is embarrassing.

I also have had periods not every one but some that have been much worse than early labour pains. My early labour pains were like mu average period pain.

Also agree with pp about getting in a mess in the early days of having periods as using tampons takes some practice and even pads can be messy.

Yes if she’s in that much pain. But also go to the Dr, and look at any strategies you can use in school (eg speak to them to ensure she has frequent toilet access as needed, heat patches you wear under your clothes) - so that hopefully this won’t be ongoing.

I have always had awful periods and sometimes used to missed school - was diagnosed with endo at 28

They can be horrendous but I guess only you can judge if she's trying it on. Gp will be able to offer stronger pain relief. I used mefanemic acid but when that stopped working at 15 I went on the pill.

You really need to take her to the doctor.

I think some women just do not understand how bad periods can be - they imagine their worst experience of period pain, but if your periods are “normal” then that pain doesn’t even come close to a good day for someone with a condition that causes severe period pain.

I was sent to hospital for an ultrasound the day before my first period because I was in so much pain they thought I had appendicitis. My periods were excruciating (vomiting, fainting, bowel and bladder issues). Went on the pill at 13 or 14, was eventually diagnosed with endometriosis at 22.

If she had another kind of pain - eg a severe headache, pain in her legs that meant she couldn’t walk - you wouldn’t be expecting her to go to school and you’d be taking her to the doctor. Unfortunately period Pain is something we are supposed to accept and tolerate even when it’s horrific. Periods should not cause excruciating pain, they just shouldn’t.

Painful periods are linked to dairy consumption. Does she drink a lot of milk?

When I was 15 before any contraception etc my periods were really heavy and painful,I think a lot of young girls go through this.Its tricky because obviously you want her at school but if she's bleeding through lots of pads/crying with pain etc you'd want her at home in comfort.Just do what you feel is best for her .

The knowledge that labour would be even worse than my period pain was why I had an epidural from the earliest moment I could.

It isn’t right that anyone should be told to cope when they’re doubled up, vomiting and shitting themselves.

The pill will likely be able to help. I wish my mum had known that.

45 years later I still cannot get through days 1-3 without 3 ibuprofen every 4 hours.

Some people find that labour was better than their period pain. I have heard this a few times.

I started my periods at 13 and had to have a day or two off school most months. I had horrendous pain which wouldn't go with all pain relief available to me. On top of the pain, I had nausea and dizziness. Eventually I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I would take her to the GP to discuss it. It was a really horrendous time for me and would have hated to be forced to go to school on the bad days.

Maursh the woman I know who has the worst periods is vegan so not sure this is the case. I also have little milk and have gone through stages of having none as was vegan for some time and my periods have always been pretty bloody painful.