DD in tears over supposed best mate

[Pawprintjoy]

Dd2 (13) has spent the past few hours crying in her room after her “best friend” posted on Instagram about her, he was the only real friend she had and the one who would always cheer her up. There’s a screenshot of the post for context but she’s not in school atm so he was one of her only friends, all the friends they shared have blocked her and refused to speak to her now so she is completely devastated. DD1 was never in these situations so I am abit shocked at the stuff that’s said about others online

If he was her boyfriend would you be ok with him treating her so nastily? I doubt it, you would want her to stay well away.

And yeah she seems ‘happy now’ but it’s not real happiness, it’s just intense relief you feel when someone who is abusive and makes you feel awful suddenly starts love bombing you.

Honestly I'd rather my 13 year old had no friends for a while, than hang out with 14-20 year old men who would use such vile language about her.

‘gay diva’???

This is where you step on Op and take the lead.

So two things here,

1. help her to block, move on away from this boy and the mixture of late teen group.

2. Open up other opportunities for your dd to meet new people, e.g. cadets, st johns, spots clubs, creative groups.

Your dd needs you to be proactive.

I'd be concerned, she is involved with a group of older teens who post inappropriate and unkind things on social media. It's a very damaging social group for her.

He sounds like a gay diva. Nasty.

wtf

Oh yay rampant homophobia. 😒

I wouldn't let her anywhere near him with the venom he's spewing about her.

One toxic friend is NOT better than no friends at all.

20 year olds should NOT be hanging around with 13 year olds. Enormously inappropriate.

I understand that you are concerned that your daughter has no friends but the answer to this issue is not being "friends" with someone who abuses her. What you are telling your daughter by allowing her to be friends with this boy is that this kind of treatment is all she is worth! You are telling her that she has to accept his messages. That she is a "cunt", that she has to forgive this public humiliation. If you put your foot down and say that there is no way she should spend time with someone who abuses her, you are teaching her self-respect. Please do the latter - or you may end up with a child who spends her life with men who call her a cunt or worse.

It may be that he is having a breakdown, it may be that he is out of his depth with his friends and playing for the gallery, it may be- whatever. The important thing for you, as your dd's mother, must be what she is learning from this and what messages you are giving her. And that must focus on what she should accept and think is good enough for her. Which is certainly not being treated like this.

You need to keep your daughter safe. This boy sounds as if he is using her. And I would be very unhappy with my 13 year old hanging around with 20 year olds (my 20 year olds would have limited tolerance for 13 year olds).

Get onto the LA and make a fuss until they make a school place, I would also mention you are worried about her safety out of school.