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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should I let my daughter have a house party

42 replies

motherofteen2 · 17/09/2018 19:30

DD wants a house party. She is 14 (all of her friends from school are 15 she's old 14). Anyway the way she's pitched it to me is she locks up all valuables upstairs in the bedrooms which will be locked. She makes plenty of dancing room in the house with cheap disco lights. There is a lot of food and drink. I get a bit of real drink (alcopops) as well as AF beer since it's still 10,000 times better than what they get at discos (the discos won't play anything outside one direction in our area and they're full of 11 year olds). Should I let her have one. By the way I won't be leaving won't be hovering but I'll be present. I trust her since she doesn't want other people over. Can I do this. It would be 80% teenagers dancing since they do that everywhere they go it feels like

OP posts:
ArrivisteRevolt · 17/09/2018 19:32

You are buying alcohol for minors. That’s illegal.

lexi727 · 17/09/2018 19:33

You would be buying alcohol for minors, illegal

Spreadingcudweed · 17/09/2018 19:35

How many teens? Personally I wouldn't and as the mother of a teen I wouldn't be impressed by you serving alcopops. Sorry! I would say no and save your furniture and carpets and suggest a different formula.

BigGreenOlives · 17/09/2018 19:42

No alcohol bought by you & you have 3 friends over so if one of them gets drunk two adults can take them home (one in the back with the teen if necessary) and you still have an adult as back up company. Lots of pizza & garlic bread to soak up any pre-loading & smuggled in booze.

Original poster
motherofteen2 · 17/09/2018 19:44

It's not illegal it's a private house. And I'm not sure if I've worded it wrong but alcohol is probably the last thing I and they care about. Having a party that plays decent music is a rare and exciting thing for my Daugher and the people she'd invite

OP posts:
HeyMacWey · 17/09/2018 19:45

It depends on how many teens and what her friendship group is like tbh.

I wouldn't buy alcohol though.

Catmatrat · 17/09/2018 19:45

Don’t buy any drink yourself for them. Other parents will FLIP (rightly so)

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 17/09/2018 19:47

I probably would... my mum let me and I hope to have the same trust.

Littlelilylily · 17/09/2018 19:52

alcohol is probably the last thing I and they care about. Having a party that plays decent music is a rare and exciting thing
I think this is quite naïve. Every house party my kids have been to/heard of has ended up with everyone being kicked out because of destruction and/or complaints from neighbours. Your DD is only 14, I'd give it until she's in year 11 around prom time maybe

indianwoman · 17/09/2018 19:52

You would need to tell the parents of the other kids that there will be alcohol . If you didn't , and my kid went, I would be very angry at you as it isn't the norm.
I wouldn't have alcohol at all and wouldn't let my 14 go if there was.

Ooforfoxsakeridesagain · 17/09/2018 19:53

IME this is the age the drinking starts.

I’ve said yes to drinking at parties but never elsewhere. There seems to be a liking for casual drinking at sleepovers etcand I’m completely against it. I will give DS (15) some beer to take tona party though.

IME of hosting parties, they manage to get their hands on (quite a lot) of alcohol so wouldn’t get any in. Yes to the PP who said have someone with you to do drop offs home and also in case you need to take anyone home/see off gatecrashers.

Plenty of pizza/soft drinks. And washing up bowls/buckets.

Cjoness93 · 17/09/2018 19:53

I would be furious if I found out my child had been to a house party and were supplied alcohol by the parents. Awful idea.
Drinking is 18+ for a reason. It is not for minors

lexi727 · 17/09/2018 19:56

I just wouldn't get any alcohol In. It may cause a bit of a shit storm with the other parents. If they want to bring their own they can, and they probably will. Just have plenty of sick buckets ready...

BabySharkAteMyHamster · 17/09/2018 19:58

Seriously. Don't try too hard to be 'the cool mum'.

Believe me, it never ends well.

Nettletheelf · 17/09/2018 19:59

You know that your house is going to be full of vomiting, crying, snogging teenagers, right? Right???

Also, the teenage guests will be in your room, guaranteed.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 17/09/2018 20:00

Don't buy alcohol. Believe me at 15 they are very interested in drinking.
If they bring their own that's another matter but I certainly wouldn't be buying alcohol for 15 year olds to drink.

SummerStrong · 17/09/2018 20:26

You cannot provide alcohol for other people's children, the parents would absolutely freak out.

My DD is the same age and the rule for house parties is usually 'bring your own drink, no spirits' she will take 3 alcopops, as that is all I'm comfortable with her consuming at this stage.

I'd be horrified and completely pissed off if she was given more alcohol by an adult.

Original poster
motherofteen2 · 17/09/2018 20:32

To be honest with you all i couldn't afford alcohol. Will just get them some new music from iTunes and also maybe a better speaker

OP posts:
Hassled · 17/09/2018 20:35

Don't even begin to think about doing it. It doesn't matter if you buy alcohol or not - someone will find a way to get some in. There will be vomit, snogging, weeping, fallings out, your house will be trashed - just don't go there.

Nettletheelf · 17/09/2018 20:40

Think about the teenage parties you went to as a kid, OP. If that doesn’t put you off!!

When I was a teen, late 80s, we had all seen American teen films in which houses were trashed and crikey, did the badly behaved kids do their best to emulate them! One of our neighbours allowed her daughter to have a 15th party in the house and described the guests, after the police had been called, as ‘a pack of wild animals’.

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 17/09/2018 20:40

Be prepared for alcohol to be bought but I wouldn't provide any myself, not at 14. If they were 16/17 It might be a different story but 14/15 is too young. Lock upstairs bedrooms, remove anything possible. Be prepared for vomit and tears.

I don't know if your house will necessarily get trashed, as teens we didn't generally trash anyone's house! The kitchen would be sticky after and there would be broken glass normally in the kitchen but normally easy to clean up. It might be fine it really depends on the teen and the size of the party Smile

cheesefield · 17/09/2018 20:46

Based on my own experience going to house parties as a teenager, fuck no. Not a chance I'd allow it.

I recall going to house parties with fire brigade and police being called. People vomiting all over the place, shagging in the parents room, people passing out unconscious and ambulances being called. People turning up with their own spirits and weed. Windows being smashed. DP often reminisces about a house party he went to at 15 where someone jumped out of an upstairs window and broke both ankles, and the oven door being smashed. I went to one where a little shithead poured a bottle of vodka into a tropical fish tank.

Of course there were the ok parties where only one person puked and the house survived, but not a chance I'd risk it! No way.

IvanMashPotatoIvanDoTheTwist · 17/09/2018 20:49

Based on when I was a teenager I'd say you'd be absolutely mad to host a teen house party. As a teen I would not have even hosted one!

Stuckforthefourthtime · 17/09/2018 20:49

Too young for alcohol provided, and there will be some mayhem and misery. Wait until they're older.

SlimDogMillionaire · 17/09/2018 21:01

Yes but no alcohol and she has to help clear up afterwards

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