Wait a minute. I think that saying things like ?she was in all likelihood set up/being groomed by a man with predatory intent? is very scaremongerish. Yes such predators exist and while the internet can be a very good hiding place for such people and Is the perfect place to portray yourself as something you?re not, there are also genuine people who surf the net, visit chatrooms, and who even meet up and go on to have successful friendships/relationships. We are all talking about this over the internet are we not? And to the best of our knowledge most on here are genuine? Yes maybe a lot of the talk has been sexual, but one has to remember that these are teenagers. Sex to them is a very important part of every day discussion, and talking about it over the internet does in a way, give a sense of security, because although it seems real it?s just text on a screen and if one or other party feels uncomfortable they can switch off the computer and walk away.
Elesbells, I think what your dd is going through is perfectly normal. I think that the internet is one of those things that has given teens a much bigger freedom than we had when we were younger ? the ability to talk to people they would otherwise never have had the opportunity to talk to, and to form friendships they otherwise never would have formed.
While I think that it?s important not to scare our children into the facts, I do think that it?s important to make them aware of the realities of giving out personal information to people they?ve never met in rl.
Without making the internet sound like a totally scary place, I would try and explain to her that in reality, she has no idea who she is talking to over the net, anyone can create an account in a chatroom and win the trust of people and could be anything they want to be. Doesn?t mean that all frauds are axe wielding murderers, but they could just be lonely fantacists looking for friends, doesn?t make them any less of a fraud though. and that it?s not just children that need to be careful when chatting online, adults can be just as vulnerable, so you?re not having a go because she?s a child and should be protected, you?re talking to her because you know of people from all walks of life who have had bad experiences with people they?ve met over the internet.
I think that openness is the key here. I think it?s important to reiterate to her that if she meets someone then it should always be in a public place, preferably with either you, or a friend present. It?s important never to give out her home address or telephone number as although she may think she knows someone, she cannot be totally sure until they have met. If she does want to talk to people in person then I would hdvise her to get skype rather than to give out her mobile number, that way contacts can be blocked if there turns out to be a problem. Tell her that you won?t feel the need to snoop on her if she is open and honest with you. That you?re glad she is making new friends, but that you are just looking out for her wellbeing. And again reiterate that it?s not just children who can be fooled by someone they?ve met over the net so you?re not having a go because she?s a child, you would want her to be safe even if she was an adult and you would want someone to be looking out for you in the same way ifyou were visiting chat sites.
Hth x