Porn on ds 13 nearly 14 phone 😞

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Is this normal?? And does anyone know how to set parental controls on a mobile?? I thought I had but obviously not 😞

It's perfectly normal at that age, and they're smart enough to get past mobile filters. Just warn them about the dangers of the Internet and leave it. They need privacy at that age

No point setting filters they would easily get round them and unfortunately for you it’s perfectly normal at that age.

Perfectly normal, you could set up parental settings with your provider if he's accessing it on your wifi at home and won't be able to gain access to most adult sides on 4g etc/ wifi elsewhere as they'll probably have restrictions also but this will also limit what you're able to do unless you change the settings (which isn't that hard really) every time you want to view something blocked.

Although, while I think it's good to restrict how much he sees that type of thing at his age so he doesn't get a skewed perception of what sex is, he's definitely going to find/ be shown it somewhere else and could be a good time to have a sit down and chat about this kinda thing.

Even the provider blocks are easy to get round

'They need privacy at that age'
privacy
13 year olds need privacy to watch porn?
Fuck me

Please say I am not the only one utterly perplexed by these attitudes? "Utterly normal" ? For 13 year olds to be watching porn?

^^ this

Porn can be really hardcore and it’s dangerous for kids to watch it as sex education.

Seriously. All the shoulder shugs? Children deserve better than that. They really do.

They do, though. They are interested - that's not abnormal.

When I found something similar on my son's device (Transformer porn???) we had a conversation about the ethics of porn, the fact I felt he was too young to be watching it and (what I feel is most important for boys that age) the fact that real sex isn't like that at all. And I changed our electronics rules do that he was less able to use them in privacy.

Oakmaiden

That sounds like an essential conversation to have.

Thank you!!! I thought I was going mad there
I would be changing his data plan so that he can't access 3G only WiFi and getting him to hand the phone over for regular spot checks. No phone after he has gone to bed.

Why do people seem to think porn is ‘normal’ it seems to be widely accepted by society.. it’s not right imo that a 13 year old is watching porn and I can’t believe how many of you are saying it is. Just because it’s been normalised and worked into our everyday lives does NOT make it ok

Jesus children need protection from
Porn not a blind eye!

It is utterly degrading to women and produces unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies and action. It doesn’t model a healthy loving relationship and is NOT “perfectly fine and normal” for children to watch.

It is normal.

I'd worry more if there wasn't porn!
As long as it is plain porn and no weird or illegal stuff then I wouldn't worry.

To all those saying it's wrong.
Why? It's usual and very normal human curiosity.

It's not normal. What do you mean by normal? Curiosity about sex? Sure that normal. Watching people actually having sex on video? At 13? In what universe is that a developmentally normal thing for children to do?
'Plain porn' is already full of misogyny, brutality, degrading language and unrealistic depictions of sex. Why do you think it's normal for a 13 year old child to watch that?
You'd be worried if your 13 year old child wasn't watching porn? Do you realise how utterly fucked up that sounds?

Porn addiction is a serious dehabilting problem, additionally we have seen a huge increase in erectile dysfunction in the under 25s.
Interest in sex is natural, allowing him free rein to watch everything and anything is seriously asking for trouble.

It might not be perfectly fine but it is normal now for 14yr olds, boys and girls. It has always been the case that teens will seek out sexual material, it’s just the ease of access now which makes it so much more readily available. Education about porn, like any other online behaviour is important and change your WiFi settings at home if it’s important to you. Most mobile phone providers will have some degree of filtering on their service too, already built in.

Sweeping generalisations much?

It is perfectly normal and usual behaviour of a teenager.

You just have to be able to have a proper conversation with your teen about it. If you are shocked or disgusted by porn, you could force them to hide it and then they are at risk of delving deeper into

Curiousity about sex at 13 = normal.
Watching porn at 13 = should not be normalised.

I would go for a two pronged attack here. 1. Put as many controls etc on his phone as possible. Phone to be left downstairs overnight. Regular random checks on his phone. Any disagreement from him on this means he loses it for x amount of time (he will kick off and make out like you are amputating a limb but he doesnt have a right to a phone!)

1. A very serious talk about the reality of porn. That it is not normal sex, that many of the women are trafficked and forced into it, the physical injuries caused to women, the misogyny, etc. The pressure put on BOTH boys and girls to live up to porn expectations when they start having sex. The damage being done to men under 25 who are disproportionately suffering with erectile dysfunction disorders because they cant reach or maintain arousal without porn. He really needs to understand that he isnt watching "sex" and that this is not a harmless behaviour.

I can't believe so many people think it's not a big deal. One thing I do think though is sometimes with restrictions it can send you into a rabbit hole of weirder stuff that is outside of the restrictions if that makes any sense. That hasn't stopped me putting all of them in place for my children.

The number of people on this thread advocating children watching porn is really grim.

Curiosity=normal.
Children watching adults having sex=not normal.

Definitely use this as an opportunity to talk about how porn does not represent sex between two consenting adults who respect each other. It’s also an opportunity to talk about the exploitation and degradation of the women involved to ensure he doesn’t carry these views with him through adolescence and adulthood.

Someone mentioned it being ok if it was just ‘plain porn’. Ahhh, so you will be pre-watching or reviewing the porn your children watch will you? To make sure it’s suitable porn for a child to watch. That’s not at all creepy. Really.

“If you’re shocked or disgusted by porn you could force them to hide it.” Or you could educate them to realise that it is not a harmless thing to do for their own development and for the people involved in making it.

Bosswitch has it spot on.

My DS is a year younger, so much might change, but...

I have made it clear that I will go through his phone at any time, it was a condition of being allowed it. I have no intention of allowing any form of internet access in his bedroom any time soon, downstairs only. He has a very limited data allowance so he is pretty WiFi dependent for most of the month so not likely to start accessing it from elsewhere.

I can't believe the number of people who think that children watching porn is normal and no big deal. Interest in sex is normal, but if they are watching porn before even having sex themselves, what kind of distorted view of adult relationships are they going to end up with. I despair.

13 is a child. Allowing or encouraging a child to watch sexual acts on film is a criminal offence and sufficient to have a child protection investigation if found out! I can't actually believe @mydogishot would be worried if their child wasn't looking at porn.

@NynaeveSedai

I'm hardly encouraging porn watching. I'm simply saying I would not be shocked about finding it in their possession.
Child protection investigation!! FFS!
Ridiculous comment.

There will always be porn.
You can be shocked and punish them into hiding it and perhaps looking deeper or for alternatives.
Otherwise, you could take the time to talk to them. Have an open and non-judgemental discussion about the facts of porn.

Watch this.
The reality of so called 'mainstream/plain porn' which kids as young as 11 are watching.
Quite disturbing and NSFW.