Hair on legs sensitive dd age 12

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

Dd has just got dressed and is wearing tights under her shorts as she refuses to go out bare legged. She says she is embarrassed about her leg hair. She has been mentioning it for a while now and I need to tackle it. I am not sure how to tackle this issue sensitivily and what the appropriate hair removal/ pro body hair approach to take is.

She has darker hair than me - I am ginger and freckly I have translucent body hair shave about 6 times a year if that and only since my late twenties. I have no idea what it is like having obviously hairy legs, so it is all very well for me to say it is fine and don't worry and body hair is normal and natural but dd is very self conscious.

She is already socially awkward so I feel that I need to make things easier for her. What body hair removal is appropriate for her age - 12 - Shaving? Veet cream? Help?!

Just ask her whether she would prefer to remove her leg hair and if so has she got a preference. Take her to buy some stuff to try and help her with guidance.

I use an intuition razor for dd(9) and have done for this last year that she has been shaving her legs.
It can just be used with water as the block around the blade acts as the gel/lubrication for shaving. At 12 you could help her once (with a swimsuit on for privacy if she wants) but then I’d leave her to it. As long as she knows the direction to shave, not to run her fingers along the blade to clean off hair and not to move the razor sideways on her legs she should be fine.

Definitely see if you wants to shave them now! I take it she wants to if she's wearing tights! I would wet shave them for her right now and then look at buying a ladyshave from boots or Argos etc.

I think a cream will be the easiest. I’d talk to her about the options...I was waxing from about 14 (über hairy here!) and although it hurts at first the regrow is slow and there’s something morbidly fascinating about seeing all the hair stuck on the cloth! If you go that way eventually then I’d suggest NADS green water soluble stuff. But have it done at a salon a few times to get the technique

Just ask her if she would like to shave it off or not thenbuy some razors for her or a battery lady shave is what dd used at that age, it isn't a big deal.

I would never let my dd shave. I did at that age (white with very dark hair ) came back light straw after a while with lots of ingrown hair.
I would let her try the epilator. They have ones now for new users. It has lots of attachments that lets you start of with very very light epilating. Then as her skin gets used to it. She can move on to proper epilating. The hair comes back softer and lighter as she uses it.

Take her to Boots and let her choose hair removal products. It will also show her that hair removal is (for the majority of women) a normal part of grooming.

I’ve let my dds shave their legs from a younger age, dd (11) has been doing hers for almost a year now.
I tried cream at first but she had an awful allergic reaction to it so she just shaves now, we have an electric razor and also normal blades and she can manage herself.
I asked if she wanted to wax, as starting waxing early would stop the hair growth by the time she was an adult, but that would have been too much for her! So she’s happy with the shaving for now.

I would never let my dd shave you would not allow your daughter to choose her own method of removing her own hair on her own body?

Dont you think that is controlling? Would you allow someone to dictate to you how you remove your own body hair if you want to?

OP if you use cream just make sure she's aware of all the instructions, have a friend with awful scar from leaving cream on too long when she was younger. Haven't used cream for a while so not sure if creams are safer now.

Its not controlling at all. I’m giving her my years of experience and wisdom on hair removal. My mum didn’t give a crap about anything and I had to make my own choices and I wish someone had stepped in and said you know what. That’s not a good option. Try this first.
Obviously if the epilator didn’t suit my dd I wouldn’t stop her from trying other products but I just couldn’t see her go through painful process like I did. We have the same sort of hair.

Shaving worries me as dd is autistic (high functioning) she is a bit clumsy and impossible to instruct. Whatever method we use will need my supervision, so it needs to be relatively safe and gentle... I have only used disposable razer's myself but don't think that will work for dd. So maybe epilator. Tesco range will be my limit today I can take her into big town in the hols.

I have only ever shaved my legs and have never waxed/ epilated/ used creams. I like the olay ones that have a soap bit too. Dd shaves hers occasionally and at the moment has quite hairy legs

Maybe an electric lady shave then. They have guards to stop cuts

I think you should give her the option of removing it and help her decide the best option for you.

My mother wouldn't let me shave my legs until I was 16 and it led to me feeling hugely self conscious.
I'd end up using spare razors in the house for my arms or buying a cheap set and then using the same razors for my legs but they were blunt and not as good.

To this day I have no idea why she was so controlling over it (along with make up and other things whilst commenting on my appearance), but it was horrible.

My DD is also autistic. Before we went on holiday last year (she was 12), I got her a ladyshave. She's only used it a few times as she's really not too bothered by the hair on her legs.

Thanks all. I know I sound clueless but it is just something I don't need to think about and I want to be able to help dd with some degree of authority (even if it is borrowed)!

My 12 year old was desperate to get the hair on her legs removed so she started having them waxed. She has them done once every 3/4 weeks, the hair is noticeably finer and I hope it means they will get gradually less obvious. She chats quite happily to the beautician - it doesn’t seem to bother her!

Epilators are horrifying, please don't subject your DD to them!

I would say a lady shave for now or cream, personal preference is a razor but if she won't be safe with one probably best not for now.

Ha! After all the angst. I just spoke to dd about choosing a cream/ razor/ wax etc. at the shop so I can help her remove her hair. She then decided that sounded like too much hassle and removed her tights instead! She has decided her hair is fine after all😂

But thank you I feel ready for the next hair removal discussion whenever that may be! Taking her seriously and offering a solution was key.

Well just keep an ear open incase she wants too the ladyshavers are fine they have guards on them. Or veet have a teen range

Oh that's funny OP. I'm glad she's feeling a bit happier about it anyway.

I would go for a battery shaver. They're a PITA, but almost impossible to cut yourself with. I'd say they are the safest option for a clumsy teen. It's great that she feels listened to. Perhaps you could buy a shaver for her and let her experiment in her own time. Perhaps with a note saying if she wants to try a different method then that's fine and you can talk about it

Glad you've got an outcome.

When the time comes I would also recommend a lady shaver. I find mine really easy (even if i do epilate my legs more now)

If you use an epilator regularly it's not that horrible after the first go, because you're pulling many fewer hairs out at a time, especially if you do it once or twice a week as hair reappears, and you become less sensitive to it over time. It also means you can get rid of them much sooner after they reappear than waiting weeks for everything to regrow for waxing (which if you have thick dark hair and really want it gone, is not really on the agenda). You don't get the forests of stubble that happen with shaving, and I found them less bad than shaving for ingrowing hairs. It's also a one-off cost and doesn't have the ongoing expense of waxing.

Related people may be more likely to have similar attitudes and responses to pain. But I can't imagine saying anything more weighted to a preteen/teenager than "this worked/works for me, would you want to try one?" and being prepared for it to languish in a drawer if she finds it too much (i.e. don't get one if you couldn't afford that on top of other hair removal).

I’d let her try whatever she fancies trying. Personally I found epilating painful, and gave me loads of ingrown hairs. Waxing not much better. If your budget runs to it, have a look at Philips Lumea. Less painful than waxing / epilating, after a few treatments there’s hardly any regrowth. No risk of cuts and little risk of irritation. If she’s going to end up waxing, the cost of the machine is probably similar to 20 salon waxes, less than 2 years of hair removal.