Teenagers money

[Maths9]

Ds13 has just been paid 10000 pounds for a commercial and he wants to put it towards his uni fund. However as we were talking about expenses he suggested we could have a grand for expenses. I was a bit offended as technically the money is ours and although we would put it towards his uni fund, we would like a bit for ourselves. He also does not want to share it with his sister, which we thought we could do. Any suggestions

@Maths9

Have you been spending more of his money?

I hope you know, when he turns 16, he can sue you for financial mismanagement. As a child worker, you are responsible for looking after his earnings. LOOKING AFTER being the key words. You can justify a little for expenses, but the rest just be guarded for his future. If you are spending his money, he can sue when he's an adult. I know you're going to make the argument that youre spending it on family outings or activists etc... But that excuse doesn't always fly. And I think in your case, you won't get away with it given that you've said he isn't allowed to be involved in discussions about the money. So really, your stealing his money and doing whatever you want with it. If I were you, is be preparing to have enough to pay him back everything he has earned incase he decides to come after it when he's old enough.

Point him towards the stately homes thread for when he's an adult.

You and your husband should be ashamed.

HE earns that money, is sensible enough to think about uni, thoughtful enough to consider your expenses, and yet you are offended by that? You sound stone cold and are pimping your son. How did you your husband expect your DS to arrange castings without any help? And if you want your daughter to have some money, then help her earn it.

At which point does all money earned stop being for all of you? Sure fire way to have your kids leave home ASAP.

FFS

I've heard about parents of celebrity children robbing their funds and the children eventually getting a law order to keep their parent's hands off their money and I've never quite believed it actually happens but unbelievably it looks like it does....

I can understand the angst if one sibling has opportunities to earn and save that another doesn’t, and reasonable, documented expenses if you’re running him here, there and everywhere, but the money is his and needs to be saved as such.

I think you need to be VERY VERY careful about what happens to his money, regarding you and your husband spending it. If you’ve taken any money from him for previous work, you need to replace this.

When he gets older and understands you have essentially stolen from him, you’re in trouble. I don’t know the complete ins and outs, especially as the money’s been paid into your account, but I think you might be on dodgy legal ground here. He earned that money and unless you can prove your travel costs etc and invoice him with an itemised bill, he could grow up and demand you pay him back.

It's fantastic that he's thinking about a uni fund now but I think the money would be better saved for a house deposit or something else. I've got £40,000 in student debt but a small amount is deducted from my paycheck every month so I never notice it. Student loans aren't like other loans where you have to meet repayment deadlines etc and they don't impact your credit rating.

Your son would be better off saving this money, taking out the student loans, and then using the savings to put down a house deposit once he's graduated. Of course, given that your son is 13, the rules might change down the line, in which case you'll be able to change your mind etc.

It's NOT your money and if you treat it as such, your DS would have a legal claim against you. It has presumably been paid into your bank account as the contract had to be entered into between you and the paying party (your DS being a minor and therefore not having legal capacity to form a contract). That means that the legal position is that you hold the money on trust for your DS. It is categorically not yours.

It's his money not yours, if you don't want to act like an agent then get him signed to an agent.

So, do you think parents should charge their DC for taking them to activities and clubs? MAybe set up a loan to them for taking them to football practice that will be reclaimed when they sign up with a big club?

We all do loads of admin for our DCs activities, most of which have costs attached and not earnings. That's what you do for your DC. It's called being a parent.

If he was wanting to spend it on drugs/alcohol/rubbish then absolutely you would exert some control over it but in this case, let him put it away securely for his future. You may wish to suggest that he treats his sister to something with his first earnings as we all did that when we were growing up. As for taking back costs then I think if you are going to deduct this then you need to say this up front in future and he can then decide if it's worth it to do the work or not. I don't believe you should be charging your child admin fees. Either find him an agent, teach him to do it himself, or do it with good grace for free.

I keep coming back to this and find it so sad that anyone would want to be financially compensated for supporting their own kids