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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Really underweight 13 year old girl help!

34 replies

jennymalaysia · 18/05/2018 15:02

Hi amazing mumsnetters. I am at end of tether and need advice. My daughter is 13 weighs 42kg is 172 cm and was referred to CAMHS end of October. CAMHS is an eating disorder clinic and after a 5 hour session and full review they confirmed she does not have an eating disorder. She went on a 3k calorie diet and got up to 44kg by Xmas. Unfortunately she dropped back down and has remained around 42 kg for the last 5 months. She is eating a ton and in the last 10 days has been put on scandishakes by doctor twice a day adding an extra 1400 calories to her already big meals. No effect. Bloods don’t reveal any problems. She is definitely not throwing up etc and we sit as a family to eat meals. She is otherwise healthy and happy. Thought school is handling it terribly . That’s another whole thread. What could it possibly be?!?!? I am soooooo worried. Jenny

OP posts:
ragged · 19/05/2018 08:08

How do you know she's not purging?
She's not a freak of nature. Those calories are going somewhere they shouldn't.

JennyOnAPlate · 19/05/2018 08:11

What meals do you actually see her eat? Just dinner?

Flomper · 19/05/2018 08:16

what are the school doing? Has she always been slim? What is a healthy weight for a 13y old girl? Apilogies, i dont know. Spunds very distressing, not least for her if she really does not have an eating disorder.

INeedNewShoes · 19/05/2018 08:19

I would want a full barrage of tests run.

What has the GP done so far? Ask for a referral to paediatrics.

madeyemoodysmum · 19/05/2018 08:25

My dd is naturally slim. She's about 5,2 feet tall and weight 5.5 stone. Not sure about metric measurements.
She's really slim but it's her build.

Did the school flag this up then?

ladymelbourne1926 · 19/05/2018 08:26

What tests has your gp run? You need to get them to run everything again.
I would Ask for a referral to a dietician asap. Mine is great, one thing he suggested was actually a Fitbit, I use it to log everything I eat and it logs my exercise to help identify my calorie intake and outtake and where the difference can be made. Obviously tread carefully as this only is appropriate if she genuinely doesn't have a eating disorder.
I've been very underweight since a medical crisis 10 years ago. Is she adding things like butter, avocado, full fat milk as extras?

DoneAdulting · 19/05/2018 08:30

I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. I've always been naturally skinny, and probably weighed the same as your daughter when I was 13. I'm 30 now and I weigh 47kg.

I've also always eaten normally- at one point I was drinking those shakes in a bid to put on weight when TTC but it didn't really work.

Your attitude towards your daughters weight would have caused me severe anxiety about my body, even now when people comment on how slim I am I hate it. Don't cause your daughter negative body issues when there's no need.

madeyemoodysmum · 19/05/2018 08:31

Just worked it out and she's 6st 8 which for a naturally slim 13 year old I would see as an issue at all.

It's in the low end of the scale yes but if she has always been like this. Very Slim child etc

Why all the sudden worry??

Why and who referred her to camhs ?

Are you or her dad naturally thin?

There is little people like this can do.
My dd dad is very tall and slim. Always has been

madeyemoodysmum · 19/05/2018 08:32

Sorry that should have read I would NOT see as an issue.

Runninglateeveryday · 19/05/2018 08:34

Don't worry if you know she's not throwing it up , my DD was teeny , weighed less than your DD at 13.

Then puberty struck and she went up to 9 stone, she seemed to grow up then out .

yawning801 · 19/05/2018 08:35

I don't think that's an issue either, I've always struggled with gaining weight and at 13 I was around that weight (maybe slightly less). I'm perfectly fine now, still slim but that's just how I'm made. As PP's have said, it's probably just her build. Teenagers have a very fast metabolism in general so it's probably not an issue if all the tests have come back negative.

madeyemoodysmum · 19/05/2018 08:35

To add my add is on the 9th percentile for girls her ages but no one has ever flagged it up. Even when they had the school weighings in yr 6.

From your description I'd say your dd is pretty much the same.

ragged · 19/05/2018 08:39

BMI is 14. That is huge issue. I tried googling for a pic but came up wit the pro-annies showing off their BMIs of 12-13 (shudder).

youarenotkiddingme · 19/05/2018 08:40

This was me! I had chronic aneamia and was tested for coeliacs but that was negative.

I was just a string bean for many years and started puberty late too.

Although at 13 I was 160cm and 29kg and by 15yo when I hit puberty I was 168cm and 32kg!

I'm not now 🙈😉😂

MaitlandGirl · 19/05/2018 08:40

She’s the same weight and height as my 17year old who is a size 6/8 with E cup breasts. She’s got a bit of a belly, chubby cheeks and her thighs have got a good coverage of fat on them.

In my daughters case she’s got low bone density so although she doesn’t look underweight it’s always a shock when she stands on the scales. My daughter eats A LOT, and I really do mean a lot. She loves carbs and eats a large bowl full of pasta in creamy sauces or mashed potatoes with cream, cheese and butter.

Does your daughter look unwell? Does she look particularly skinny and undernourished? If not I’d be inclined to leave it and not continue to make a big deal about her weight.

Thewhale2903 · 19/05/2018 08:52

I suppose she is quite tall to be that size if you say she is eating loads. Are you absolutely sure she isn't bringing good back up? I did it for years and my parents didn't have a clue. I did get pretty thin but I
didn't look ill, well I don't think.

madeyemoodysmum · 19/05/2018 18:58

Ragged why is it an issue if she is otherwise eating well and has energy etc.

My dd has a percentile of 9 and I'm not in the slightest bit concerned.

She's always been this way.

DearMrDilkington · 19/05/2018 19:07

I was very very thin at that age, I'm still slightly underweight. I'm perfectly healthy, I just don't gain weight very easily. I also lose weight very easily and randomly.

If she's otherwise healthy and has always been slim then I wouldn't worry. I'd be careful that she doesn't start to see her weight as a problem, the last thing you want is for her to develop an eating disorder. I was extremely self conscious about my weight at that age, I just wanted a teenage body like the other girls.

ragged · 19/05/2018 19:15

ok. I have stepped into parallel universe where it's okay for a (taller than average adult) female to have BMI = 14. Whatevs.

purplecorkheart · 19/05/2018 19:20

I assume she has had a coeliac screen. It is not done has standard here .

EmmaGrundyForPM · 19/05/2018 19:26

One of my very good friends has a daughter who is tiny. When she was 18 we all went Segwaying and she had to lie about her weight because you had to be more than 7 stone to go on one and she was way under that. She's now 20 and still tiny. Her parents are both very small.

We have been on loads of family holidays together and she eats well, although not as well as my teenage son (!). She definitely doesn't have a eating disorder.

My niece is 14, weighs 41 kg and is tiny, like her parents. Again, no hint of an eating disorder. She is just naturally very small.

EdWinchester · 19/05/2018 19:27

My 16 year old son is similar - very very slim for his height. Not worried.

madeyemoodysmum · 19/05/2018 19:52

Ragged - a 13 year old is a growing child. She may have reached the height of a adult but her tissues muscles and bones are still developing. She will gain some weight there over the years.

you can't seem to accept that a growing teen with a high metabolism can really weigh that amount.

mookinsx · 19/05/2018 20:06

This is exactly how I was. High metabolism. My mum was the same when younger and my older brother exactly the same too. Check that her thyroid was tested as her other bloods won't reflect a thyroid issue.
If your dd slips off to the toilet 30mins after a meal there is a chance of purging. Over half an hour after it's likely to be of normal nature.
Talk to her if you feel you can, ask if she needs a counsellor to talk to. (This was offered to me and was the biggest thing anyone could have said to me)

JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/05/2018 21:03

That’s exactly how I’ve been until I hit the peri menopause. Always been super slim, was a UK until I had the kids. Ate a tonne of food but was always very active too.

Honestly, I’d just let her enjoy her food. You might want to encourage some exercise, I used to put on weight if I added muscle. I’ve never been too hung up on weight though and definitely don’t know what the DC weigh. You seem very focussed on your DD’s weight.