Really underweight 13 year old girl help!

[jennymalaysia]

Hi amazing mumsnetters. I am at end of tether and need advice. My daughter is 13 weighs 42kg is 172 cm and was referred to CAMHS end of October. CAMHS is an eating disorder clinic and after a 5 hour session and full review they confirmed she does not have an eating disorder. She went on a 3k calorie diet and got up to 44kg by Xmas. Unfortunately she dropped back down and has remained around 42 kg for the last 5 months. She is eating a ton and in the last 10 days has been put on scandishakes by doctor twice a day adding an extra 1400 calories to her already big meals. No effect. Bloods don’t reveal any problems. She is definitely not throwing up etc and we sit as a family to eat meals. She is otherwise healthy and happy. Thought school is handling it terribly . That’s another whole thread. What could it possibly be?!?!? I am soooooo worried. Jenny

My DD is 6 stone 9 at 5'8". She's just been in the hospital for a totally unrelated issue, and nobody commented at all! She's just naturally very slender, she eats loads. I was exactly the same, sadly no longer. I would leave her be!

I think as long as she has always been this thin and has not got any symptoms that would suggest she has a illness causing her to be so slim then I would leave it. My own kids have both been very underweight in the past - dd at primary, although she has filled out now to a size 6 and ds who's BMI is 14 sometimes 15. They are tall with very slight builds (incredibly skinny feet), they eat well, are not fussy eaters and have a positive relationship with food. They are energetic and have an excellent attendance record at school, so as far as i'm concerned there is nothing to worry about.

She's quite tall for her age. Does she have any other health issues?

OP, the school have handled this horribly. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I just want to let you know that I have reported your most recent post because it might not be a good idea to have named your daughter's school.

The school are handling this really badly OP. I think you really need to address how they are treating your DD as their actions could cause her serious issues.

Hi OP,
We have removed your post because you have identified the school, sorry!

If a child is healthy generally and appears to be eating normally I would not worry. I have 4 dc’s and all are petite but eat like horses and are a total liability in a supermarket (that’s a whole other thread).

Your DD sounds completely normal. At 13 her skeleton hasn't finished growing, plus her fat % and muscle tone is unlikely to be at an adult level yet, so it is entirely feasible her weight doesn't match her height. My DD is the same at just 12 she's shorter than yours but weighs only 30kg. As PPs have said you need to look at the child and not at the charts. My DD does a normal amount of sport, eats adult size portions (and I always add extra fats to her portion to up the calories), yet she is still tiny, but you can see that she is slight with good muscle tone as opposed to sticky-out bones skinny. Yet for weight she's on the second centile and has never moved off it.

I would just leave your DD to it, let her grow in peace. All this fixation on her body and talk of eating disorders will bring on anxiety and body dysmorphia. Would you be pressuring her as much if she were noticeably overweight? The advice for overweight teens seems to be don't draw excessive attention to it and manage it quietly or else you'll set off an eating disorder, surely it should be the same for a teen at the other end of the spectrum?