DS won't eat

[20nil]

DS (15) is super skinny and very rarely seems hungry. He barely eats at school. I know because I can see what he's bought when I top up the account. When he does eat at school, it's crisps, drinks, go-ahead bar etc... He's always been a grazer and has a very sweet tooth (which we monitor at home). He's pretty active too, plays sport and goes to the gym.

We've spoken to him twice already about this and I'm pretty sure he avoids the canteen because he wants to be with his friends. But he won't take a packed lunch either.

We've decided to stop his pocket money (so that he doesn't spend it on sugary crap) and ask his form teacher for advice about monitoring what he eats at school. Is this over the top?

My gut instinct would to not make it an issue. If he goes to the gym etc he must have an interest in his health?

What does he say when you've spoken to him about it?

What does he eat at home? Breakfast? Evening meal - do you eat together?

Very wise to speak to his form tutor to see if any teachers think his efforts are reduced due to lack of energy. Does he hide sweet snack foods or wrappers anywhere?

Honestly, I'm secondary school I didn't eat properly and often bought two mars bars and a coke for lunch. As pp asked, how does he eat at home? What's his reaction to your enquiries after his diet? Sadly eating disorders are becoming more prevalent in males.

Like I said though, I just skipped meals at that age due to lazy ness and preferring sweet snacks.

Thanks all. He tries to leave without breakfast but I shove some toast with peanut butter down his throat. He’s never had a huge appetite but does try to get at sweets and biscuits all the time. Yes, we eat together. He eats small portions of stuff he likes for dinner. Think he’s ‘too busy’ to eat most of the time. He really is very skinny though.

I think it's a bit OTT to ask his teacher, I would imagine he's doing the same as his peers. It's probably something to do with not wanting to spend ages queuing for lunch, and choosing something to grab and go.
When you describe him as super skinny, do you mean he is very slim, or do you think he is underweight?

My fifteen year old eats like a bird as well, she has never had much of an appetite and I always say she eats to live rather than lives to eat. I tend to let her eat whatever she fancies tbh because if she doesn't fancy it she doesn't eat.
So today she had two slices of toast and butter a glass of milk and a slice of homemade cake for breakfast (it's the best time to get her to eat), no lunch as she never eats lunch and a chicken breast, mashed potato and veg (she ate the chicken and probably the equivalent of a dessert spoon in total of the mash and veg) She won't have anything else today other than a glass of milk later if she feels like it. She is small and slim but not unhealthily so she's on the 25th centile for height and weight and has been since she was a baby.
Her older sister has always been the same and even at 25 cannot manage a full bag of crisps in one sitting and dd2 has all her meals served on a tea plate because large portions really put her off.

But he’s not doing grab and go. Some days he buys nothing at all from the canteen. Most days he has no more than a drink and a bag of crisps. I’m not sure if he’s underweight. But he is the thinnest of all his friends by some margin. He’s pale and most waist bands hang off him. In year 9 he still wears the smallest size uniform.

He does drink a complan every evening.

I would take him to the GP just to get a baseline weight etc and to see what your son says about his eating.

It rings some alarm bells (ex nurse here)

You spoke to his teacher and are stopping his pocket money?
He's active, goes to the gym st.
Crikey, leave him alone.

Omg why is he on complain?

No, we haven’t done either. Just looking for advice. But yeah, let’s leave him alone. If we did, he would eat nothing but sweets! Going to Dr for weight is a good idea.

Has he always been skinny and has he always had a small appitite?

I would be taking him to GP - most teenage boys eat everything and anything. His sweet tooth is also a bit of a concern?!

Does he show any interest in food at all? Does her ever ask what’s for dinner or ask for a certain meal? Do you sit and eat at the table as a family?

I think if you make sweets the enemy he is going to want them more tbh. Dd doesn't eat much either and there are always chocolate, crisps, cake and biscuits here if she wants them but other than the cake at breakfast she never touches them. Do you think the complan is perhaps dampening his appetite?

My year 10 DS is the same. Croissant for breakfast, cookie and a drink at school and an evening meal (on the small side). Loves food and does a massive amount of cooking and baking. Loves all things sweet. Just doesn't seem to eat that much.

No idea about healthy weight but he's about 5'9" and 9 stone. Looks skinny to me.

Ok, you’re reassuring me. Thank you. He does sometimes ask what’s for dinner and does enjoy some dinners more than others. We eat together most nights. But yes, he has always had a small appetite and was a grazer from the day he was born. It just seems odd to me that a teenager could not eat all day; at weekends he often just doesn’t eat at all until mid afternoon! We don’t make sweets the enemy but if I let him he would eat whole packets of biscuits in one sitting, as well as several bags of sweets.

I am probably over-reacting but he eats less than his 10 year old sister who has a great appetite and is also active.

He’s on complan as recomended by the health visitor a couple of years ago. He does like milk and drinks a lot of it.

The health visitor?!? Don't they stop seeing children when they are about 5 :/

Not sure they are the best place to advise, but if you have been seeking help that's a bit of a drip feed. I would have agreed with others to leave him alone as you don't want to create an issue but as it's something he is aware of I think you probably need a dietitian referral so it can been discussed with him rather than just removal of money to prevent him buying snacks.

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Are you in England? Just confused by some of the details in your post.

Just keep offering good food, eveif it's not what you would consider a normal meal and keep on keeping an eye on his behaviour around food without making a big issue of it and putting the pressure on. If he's doing sport, encourage him to build up his energy reserves asap after training and keep an eye on his protein intake. I've found chicken legs useful for this.

It may be that his appetite isn't naturally huge and he misses hunger signals until they become undecipherable and turn into a general queasiness, instead.

My dd is similar in the sense she's never had a large appetite. She has refused breakfast for years (except on holiday) though sometimes has fruit, and rarely eats much in the evenings. But she does eat lunch and lots of junk snacks and is not skinny.

If you're concerned then you should talk to a doctor - teachers are unlikely to know if there's an issue here. Some people do eat very little and seem perfectly healthy though. But you'll want to rule out an eating disorder or underlying medical condition. Maybe he has an intolerance?

PS eating a ton of sweet / junk stuff seems to be normal practice for teens these days - it's very high in calories so he may be getting most of his daily intake in this way but burning it off through exercise.

Thanks all. Yes, we are in England and there’s no drip feed as far as I can see. The health visitor is a friend of the family. It was informal advice but it’s probaly time to rethink that. I think I’ll take him to the DR to get him weighed properly and just for a general friendly chat about diet.

It’s reassuring to hear that many of your kids are similar and healthy. As I said, I’m pretty sure he avoids lunch because he doesn’t want to queue. I can live with that, but will try on focus on getting him to eat a little more after school.

My DS is taller, older & lighter than the child mentioned up thread. His GP doesn’t seem to take this seriously, they do have a baseline weight however in case there should be a downward change. Size 28 men’s slim fit trousers are baggy like clown’s trousers.

Try Huel instead of Complan, it's got more in it. He might even take it to school of he won't take a packed lunch, as you get a special cup

(How is he in y9 if he's 15?)