DS won't eat

[20nil]

DS (15) is super skinny and very rarely seems hungry. He barely eats at school. I know because I can see what he's bought when I top up the account. When he does eat at school, it's crisps, drinks, go-ahead bar etc... He's always been a grazer and has a very sweet tooth (which we monitor at home). He's pretty active too, plays sport and goes to the gym.

We've spoken to him twice already about this and I'm pretty sure he avoids the canteen because he wants to be with his friends. But he won't take a packed lunch either.

We've decided to stop his pocket money (so that he doesn't spend it on sugary crap) and ask his form teacher for advice about monitoring what he eats at school. Is this over the top?

Think its regular enough for teens not to eat until midafternoon on weekends as they get up so late. Mine would usually have had a big dinner later and something like a sandwich before bed so really 2 meals. I passed no comments. And to be honest l never knew what they ate in school as we don't have that billing system. I never asked. They are very skinny but so is their Dad and they are healthy. Too much talk about food or pressure is the worse thing to do.

My DS has lunch, dinner and a bedtime slice of toast. He can go all day without eating. He does however eat a lot when he starts!

You may find he's getting by on milk and sweets. It isn't the end of the world. My Bil was like this, and as he got older he started eating better.

I'd leave it.

Ok, will try to make sure he has plenty of good stuff that he likes available, and not make a fuss unless he looks to be losing weight. Still, I’m finding it hard to be relaxed about all the sweets and other sugary crap. I know it’s quite normal, but still worrying in terms of diabetes, teeth etc...

Has there been anything else that’s happened to him? Being 15 and only in year 9 and on complan - there’s no illness or anything?

FFS: he is 14; 15 later this year. Sorry, pretty tired at the moment.

No, nothing else has happened apart from having a mum who can’t get his age right
He’s doing well at school, has plenty of friends etc...

(Dinner lady here) Many teenagers don't eat anything at school, it's very common. Aslong as he is eating at home (no matter the amount, aslong as he eats something) and seems happy, it'll sort itself out.

At his age, he may even get a few mean comments or jokey comments about his size which though not nice, might encourage him to put on some weight

Thanks down. That’s reassuring.

Pretend he's a toddler! Lots of nutrient dense foods, custard, cheese, yogurt... nibbles like grapes, pepper sticks, carrot sticks, and no arguments. he'll get there.

Thanks all for your advice. Good to know we’re not alone. The contrast with his sister is really striking, which is one of the reasons I was worried. He’s agreed to take a packed lunch some days and to write a list of things he’d like to put in it. I’m happy with that.

Interesting thread!

I was also bit concerned, and nagged my teenage son about food. He'd come home hungry from school, said he hadn't bothered with lunch. Like yours OP, he can't be bothered to queue , though I do think they are sometimes long. I found it quite hard to get my head round. I think the "big cafeteria, big school" thing doesn't help.

So, quite often he lives on cereal. Cereal for breakfast. Cereal after school. Maybe some dinner later . But he's growing quite big and stronger now after going through a period at 14/15 of being quite slim. I'd say he was quite average now.

Its a worry, and clearly its fairly common. Good advice on here about having plenty of reasonably healthy food around for when he gets home.

I’d say he’s eating enough. He’s having toast and peanut butter, a snack at lunch, and evening meal and complan which is like a meal in itself. If I was having that in a day, I’d not be starving either.

Do you get him to cook at all? Have you tried making a meal with him once a week or if he’s a more confident cook, letting him do it? This way he’ll have one meal he enjoys in the week and you could get him to choose one or two other meals. My DD is fussy and we do this with her.

Is he bothered by his weight at all? My DS is the same age and is super skinny. I have no idea how much he weighs though. He does sports and is growing so I think that’s the way he is. I do give him a calcium supplement though, just to make sure his bones form nicely