Boyfriend stopping over

[Mooxxxmooxxx]

Just a general question to see what other mothers think is right as far as letting their daughters boyfriend stop over, eg. What age roughly would you allow it and how long would they have been together. My daughter and her boyfriend are both 16 and been together for 8 months and she hasn't asked yet but I'm assuming the question will come up soon and would like to see what other moms think

I agree about age of consent. I think being a girl my parents didn’t really worry about it but having sons, I would be very strict before 16 (both parties!) but not after.

@ellsbells2 Just because you sleep in the same bed doesn't mean sex is happening. Also, if that was aimed at my response, you should reread as I mentioned he slept in a different room until I turned 16. If not aimed at me, I apologise.

Hmm, I've raised my girls to be comfortable saying no to someone they don't want to sleep with, hell they wouldn't even be in a relationship with someone they don't want to sleep with. They don't have to hide behind old fashioned parents as an excuse.

I'd hate my kids to be having sex upstairs at a party or in a park. It's not the way to learn about physical relationships.

Kate123cl

No it was not aimed at you.

We are not there yet but my feeling is that it's likely to act as a bit of a break as she's not going to bring every tom duck and harry home. I'd also rather know them first. And it's not stopping them it's just means it's happening somewhere where contraception is less likely to be used. So while I'm not keen I won't ban it.

Tinkly. That was really rude. I was also brought up to say no, the reality is not always that simple. Are you saying that your girls are immune to grooming or abuse because they’ve been brought up a certain way ? That girls who end up being pressured into sex somehow have less able parents ? Because I find that highly offensive. My parents weren’t “old fashioned “ they did bring me up to speak my mind. They were on a par with almost all of my friends’ parents, and their opinions on sex before marriage were theirs to have.

@SirVixofVixHall Agreed.

SirVix I apologise if I have offended you. I'm not claiming to be a superparent by a long chalk; we all of us do our best.

But as the parent of young women I am only too aware of some of their friends who were encouraged by their parents to continue in abusive and coercive relationships when the red flags were glaringly obvious.

I've done a lot of work with my girls about not being coerced into anything. Obviously it's not a magic cloak of protection or anything, but, it seems to have worked so far. I get that your parents were of an older generation, mine never did anything about coercive relationships with me either.

I'd been living with my boyfriend for 2 years, went to stay with my parents, had to have separate rooms. I was 34 . Think I will be a bit more liberal with my DD 15. I would say once it's legal, and they are in serious relationship, not just a few weeks, I'd rather know where she is.. and who she's with.

I would allow it with a steady partner but not one night stands. I agree with the posters who think theyd rather have them home than shagging in dodgy toilets etc. I also dont want DD to grow up thinking sex is bad or dirty, i want her to have the confidence to say yes or no on her terms

My DS has his girlfriend stay over quite a lot, started when they were both 17, now 18. They're in a stable relationship, they're respectful and discrete (I've never heard or seen anything IYSWIM). It's just not a big deal to me. I just want them to enjoy being young, happy and in love.

Definitely not my house is not that kind of house was never allowed boys in my parents and I let them in till 10 then it's home time i would be a nervous wreck the whole nyt it's different with girls I think do they stay over at his house