13 year old daughter with stretch marks
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 09:29
Hi, My daughter started getting small stretch marks on the back of her leg (upper calf) when she was 12. It is strange because she is slim and only 5ft 3" – but she has had her growth spurt over the last few years, so it does coincide with this...
They sort of bothered her and I know she stopped wearing shorts out last year. But she stayed positive.
I bought a Vitamin A oil and reassured her that they would fade (and go)... and not to worry it's a very common thing for teenagers to have etc...
I build her self-esteem in as many ways as possible, as she is very musical and and has a real talent...
But she has also suffered with acne since she was 11... lots of creams later – she still has it, it's better than it was.... but it stops her from wearing summery tops etc... and it does get her down.
She has just told me that her stretch marks on her legs are 'everywhere' and they are very dark (I haven't seen them – she is hiding herself away with regard to her body).
And as a Mum this is breaking my heart... with the summer coming I am so (internally) anxious and sad for her... she's only 13 and I know she will have all of these restrictions on herself about what she can't wear...
I wouldn't even consider booking a summer holiday again this year as this would be absolute torture for her.
I suppose the only reason I am posting is to reach out to any other Mums that have daughters or sons in this position...
What you may have done to help them fade quicker...
How you have supported your daughter (son) through this...
My daughter looks around and sees no other girls at her school with stretch marks that are in a place that is so visible...
If you can help at all I would be grateful, and please believe me – I know that on a scale of terrible thing that can happen to our children... this is low down the list. But I am very concerned how this all might effect her mentally too...
SharpLily · 16/04/2018 09:34
You sound like a lovely mother - I would so have appreciated my own mother trying to make such an effort with problems I had at the same age!
For the acne, look at blogger Caroline Hirons, who suggests skincare regimes and advocates a very gentle approach. She could try products such as those by The Ordinary to keep the cost down, but certainly getting into good skincare habits will be helpful.
As far as the stretchmarks go, is she hypermobile? I had stretchmarks from childhood in very odd places and the associated effects of hypermobility turned out to be the reason. A trip to the doctor might be in order to check this and make sure all is in order hormonally or with her endocrine system.
moreismore · 16/04/2018 09:37
You do sound like such a lovely mum! I would second getting a GP opinion as this can sometimes be associated with hypermobility as PP said, or occasionally soft tissue disorders such as Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 17:37
Thank you both for your comments. I really appreciate your thoughts and kind words.
I am now a little concerned it could be an endocrine issue.... will look into this. I will tread carefully because I don't want to add to her worries... it's so tricky...
zzzzz · 16/04/2018 17:40
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Poppyfields21 · 16/04/2018 17:41
Bio oil and palmers stretch mark cream have always worked brilliantly for me but you must use them regularly. She is so lucky you care so much
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 17:58
Thank you again... all of these are very welcome comments and advice... You have no idea that just saying they fade fast at younger ages... lifts my worries a bit.... And I will add the Palmers to my shopping list too x
harrietm87 · 16/04/2018 18:00
I had loads as a teenager - hips, back, calves and boobs. They faded very quickly to silver and as I'm pale anyway they were barely noticeable. Now I'm pregnant and they've come back with a vengeance! Some people are just unlucky.
haba · 16/04/2018 18:02
It could just be down to her speed of growth- DH has them from when he grew, they're silvery now, on his knees and the small of his back.
He's never used creams on them, but I appreciate that a teenage girl may be slightly more image conscious than my DH!
FissionChips · 16/04/2018 18:02
They fade but will still be visable, perhaps water proof camouflage makeup would help? The type used for covering scaring.
PoppyOnTheRun · 16/04/2018 18:06
I had them at 13 and remember my Mum shouting at me telling me I was greedy and had scarred myself for the rest of my life and they would never go. I wasn’t particularly overweight and I think it contributed to long standing body issues!
But they did fade very quickly to almost invisible in my teens. I think my skin is just prone to it. However two pregnancies in my late thirties and I’m a city road map now!
I’m still self conscious though and have never worn a bikini in my whole life!
MistressDeeCee · 16/04/2018 18:07
Ah you sound so lovely. I'd lots of similar issues growing up, I don't think my mum even noticed.
Buy Avon Tissue Oil, it's in their Skin So Soft range and works just as well as Bio-Oil/does the same thing. I've been using it on stretch marks and a scar, and it works. It's around £4/5 and feels nice on the skin too.
DD suffered terrible acne in her teens. I tried all sorts of natural treatments for a few years, but if they did work, the effect wasn't permanent. One day I just thought how I'd have felt as a teen in her position, and then I gave up on my "no chemical is coming near my DD" stance.
Went to GP and got her on a course of antibiotics (made sure she took Pro-Biotics alongside). Almost 6 years of acne, gone in 9 days and my girl's real personality shining through.
Not suggesting you should do same, just saying what I did and whatever route/treatment you choose, best of luck.
MissWilmottsGhost · 16/04/2018 18:14
I have stretch marks on my lower back. I assume they are from teenage growth spurts but tbh I didn't even know they were there until I was 20 something. They are silver white now and I call them my tiger stripes
Surprisingly, I didn't get any stretch marks during pregnancy
I dont think they are anything to be ashamed about and need to cover up.
Chances are they will fade and be pretty much unnoticeable unless searched for.
TroubledLichen · 16/04/2018 18:15
If it makes her feel any better, almost every model out there has stretch marks on their legs. You don’t grow to 6ft before you’re 16 without escaping them.
I’m 5ft8 and my teenage growth stretch marks have never completely faded despite bio oil/coco butter etc. rather strangely I didn’t get a single one during pregnancy though. And I’m quite slim so sure it’s to do with my height/rapid growth. If she wants to get her legs out in the summer and feels self conscious then Mac’s face and body foundation is brilliant (it’s a model favourite) and a spray tan before holiday also helps.
Toddleress · 16/04/2018 18:17
Just to add another data point. I had stretch marks in my legs when I was a teenager too. I had a growth spurt and attributed them to gaining my almost adulthood height in my early teen years. They started to appear when I was 12/13 mainly in the inside of my legs, small ones around the knees. I was bothered by them then they faded a bit. I think it helps if you help her realise of how beautiful she is in other ways, it all depends on her interests, but anything from a makeup course, dancing, yoga, posture classes, a new trip to the hairdressers, etc can generally help.
Diet may have something to do with it, as well as drinking enough water. Would also recommend Bio oil which at least will help stop from getting more.
On the bright side, I did not get stretch marks during my pregnancy much later in life, not a single one (I had other side effects as usual but did not get this in the pregnancy symptoms lucky draw) so I would also assume it is a normal hormonal effect as well, she just turned into a young woman after all.
Holidays - look for a holiday in the mountains perhaps? My favourite place in the summer as I am not really a beach person!
All the best and she is so lucky to have a caring and understanding mum!
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 19:05
I am overwhelmed with you all... thank you for sharing your stories – it's really helping – I worry for her self esteem so much...
I am reading through all of the tips and advice again and making lots of notes. And fascinating to think that models legs aren't actually perfect.
I had quite a few stretch marks as a teenager too – but in places I could hide... and it did affect my confidence back then... so this is probably not helping my concern levels!
We are waiting for a hospital dermatologist appt for the acne – I think it may be roaccutane route next – which is terrifying (but we will have to weigh up the mental side v side affects... so another decision to be made then...
You are all wonderful people for taking time to help me (us!). xx
haba · 16/04/2018 19:12
Oh Poppy that's so sad A big unmumsnetty hug for your teenage self ((())) What a thing to say to a child!
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 19:29
Yes Poppy – I thought the same as Haba...
Mum's don't always get it right xxx Big hug
Whatdoiladymcbeth · 16/04/2018 19:33
You sound lovey!
Bio oil and palmers works for me too!
Mine faded too and the ones that haven’t are so faint.
On the note of acne, my step sister had dreadful dreadful acne that had she had help for ASAP wouldn’t have resulted in her facial scarring (the dermatologist told her so) so maybe dealing with this will also help her later on too. Especially if she’s going to be performing.
TroubledLichen · 16/04/2018 19:41
ASOS are known for not airbrushing their models. Have your DD check out their own brand swimwear. Most of the models have visible stretch marks and that’s with a fake tan and/or body make up. I know it’s probably a drop in the ocean compared to how she’s feeling but it might help her realise stretch marks are totally normal. And good luck for the appointment with the dermatologist.
inneedofchocolate · 16/04/2018 19:41
My 11yr old dd has got quite a few stretch marks on her hips and also to the sides/above her knees. They are quite dark atm but I have reassured her that in time they will fade. She has grown so much in the past year and a half and started her period aged 10.5. She's dealt with it all so well and realises it is one if those things that are out of her control. That being said, we are going on holidays at Whit and I hope that she won't be too self-conscious.
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 19:52
Its the scarring that is a worry with acne... knowing when to throw everything at it before this happens... Hope your sis-in-law's treatment went well...
Generally feeling a lot less 'doomed' than I did this morning!!
I'm on it!
I'm going to focus on the fact that they fade away or fade to barely visible... this should help keep her positive. And try the recommended oils and creams...
The power of sharing problems with other women and Mums cannot be underestimated... I lost my Mum when the kids were very small and I don't have any sisters, and although I do have lovely friends – it's hard to share this stuff with them – as my daughter would be so upset if she knew... I hope I can help you all one day!!! xx
Ohyesiam · 16/04/2018 19:57
Bio oil is your friend.
You are a lovely sounding mum. Wish all young girls had someone so sensitive to their needs.
Timeforabiscuit · 16/04/2018 20:03
You're doing a fantastic job, my stretch marks were very vivid but faded completely now, it truely looked as if id been whipped.
My mum handled it appallingly, said it was obvious i was pregnant and had an abortion (only frame of reference she had i suppose) - luckily at the time i hadnt a clue what she was talking about.
themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 20:04
Inneedofchocolate – I didn't know that about ASOS... Good for them! Will have a look! Thanks for your good wishes.
TroubledLichen– you must be very proud of your Daughter. Great attitude and I'm sure your holiday will be fab!!
My Daughter has coped with all of this stuff better than I would have done at her age!!! But I can see it's getting to her now... but she'll be fine I'm sure of it – just got to keep her spirits and self esteem up until we're out the other side.!!!
thisisouryrfx18 · 16/04/2018 20:05
OP you are such a caring mum ❤ I agree I would try the antibiotic route for the acne worked wonders for my aunt better to go young before she gets scarring like she did.
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