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13 year old daughter with stretch marks
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themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 09:29

Hi, My daughter started getting small stretch marks on the back of her leg (upper calf) when she was 12. It is strange because she is slim and only 5ft 3" – but she has had her growth spurt over the last few years, so it does coincide with this...
They sort of bothered her and I know she stopped wearing shorts out last year. But she stayed positive.
I bought a Vitamin A oil and reassured her that they would fade (and go)... and not to worry it's a very common thing for teenagers to have etc...
I build her self-esteem in as many ways as possible, as she is very musical and and has a real talent...
But she has also suffered with acne since she was 11... lots of creams later – she still has it, it's better than it was.... but it stops her from wearing summery tops etc... and it does get her down.

She has just told me that her stretch marks on her legs are 'everywhere' and they are very dark (I haven't seen them – she is hiding herself away with regard to her body).
And as a Mum this is breaking my heart... with the summer coming I am so (internally) anxious and sad for her... she's only 13 and I know she will have all of these restrictions on herself about what she can't wear...
I wouldn't even consider booking a summer holiday again this year as this would be absolute torture for her.
I suppose the only reason I am posting is to reach out to any other Mums that have daughters or sons in this position...
What you may have done to help them fade quicker...
How you have supported your daughter (son) through this...
My daughter looks around and sees no other girls at her school with stretch marks that are in a place that is so visible...
If you can help at all I would be grateful, and please believe me – I know that on a scale of terrible thing that can happen to our children... this is low down the list. But I am very concerned how this all might effect her mentally too...

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themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 20:09

Timeforabiscuit – so sorry... glad you didn't understand at the time xx

Thank you both so much for commenting and saying such kind things xx

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treeofhearts · 16/04/2018 20:10

Have you considered asking her what she thinks about going on the combined pill? Works magic for acne if its hormonal. As for the stretch marks, its a just a thing. All teenagers have it, I had them, my friends had them and they do fade away. Tell her moisturise every time she gets out of the shower and before bed with a good body butter or lotion. It helps avoid new ones appearing and the old ones will eventually go. Sun helps if she can be persuaded not to be ashamed of them. They aren't as obvious with a bit of a tan.

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dementedma · 16/04/2018 20:12

this thread is reassuring. DS (16) has truly horrendous stretchmarks on his torso. Very dark and vivid and awful. He is over 6 feet tall but also overweight. I feel dreadful that he is so scarred but I am hopeful now that they will fade.
I have had 3 pregnancies and almost no stretchmarks (not boasting, I just got lucky) so i was staggered to see how dark and visible these are on DS.

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newtlover · 16/04/2018 20:15

I had them on my breasts as a young teenager (I grew quickly) wierdly my mumm took me to the GP - I say wierd because it must have been obvious what they were, he said they were 'striae' which is the medical term, can't remember any advice given other than that they would fade, which they did.
It's worth trying - and harmless- to use any of the oils and creams suggested, but as far as I know the accepted wisdom is that the marks form at a deeper level of the skin than the creams can reach. But it may make your dd feel she is doing something.

BUT, what I really wanted to say is that your DD needs to hear that she is worth far, far more than the appearance of her skin. When you say you won't consider booking a holiday because of this you are actually endorsing the idea that her legs are too revolting to be seen, and that being on holiday=exposing your legs, neither of these are true!
Book the holiday you want- perhaps not one where you spend all day in a swimsuit, and get her some loose trousers or flowing skirts if she feels self conscious.
But reassure her that 1. the marks will fade and 2. they don't matter

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Aridane · 16/04/2018 20:17

Mine took a couple of,DECADES to go from an angry purple to a soft silver Sad

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thisisouryrfx18 · 16/04/2018 21:18

It is a balancing act between helping her but not making too much of an issue of it like she should be ashamed about them. I think going on holiday sometimes helps you see all shapes sizes and scars on the beach helps you remember nobodys perfect

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Slyvestersmouth · 16/04/2018 21:23

Sorry haven't read the thread but I had really bad stretch marks as a teen. Was never overweight, it was from growing. I was most self-conscious about the ones on the backs of my legs and my mum got me bio oil for them. I don't know whether the bio oil helped or if they naturally faded but you'd never know that I'd had them there now.

Not sure how bad her acne is but I used benzoyl peroxide cream for mine. You can buy it over the counter in most chemists. It might not be strong enough if hers is really severe but worth trying if you haven't.

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Froglette16 · 16/04/2018 21:25

Does your DD shower each day? If so, tell her to finish by rubbing baby oil all over her body. It's a trick I learned young and use it every day. My few stretch marks from pregnancy are barely visible, but that's thanks to starting young. I'm useless at face cream etc but this is one simple and cheap thing I do each day. It has reaped dividends. Hope it helps your daughter! x

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themiddlebit · 16/04/2018 22:35

Thank you again for all of the latest advice and comments... Really glad this thread is helping other Mums who may be concerned too...

You're so right about the balancing act of helping but not giving it too much significance... I'm so hoping I get this right... She is (like all of our kids) so much more than the outer shell – but it matters so much to her at the moment... (teenage years are tough for many...)

I am now thinking differently about the idea of a holiday too...
This thread has really helped me get back some perspective!
Really, really grateful to you all...

She is prescribed Duac cream at the moment for her skin – which is a Benzoyl peroxide and this has helped her face quite a lot – she mainly had it on her forehead thankfully. But her back and chest are still quite persistent. Also have tried varying antibiotics...

She showers everyday (and more sometimes)... so the moisturising afterwards will help...
Thanks again x

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zzzzz · 16/04/2018 22:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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LemonysSnicket · 16/04/2018 23:24

Tell her her stretch marks are her tiger stripes.. they’re a natural part of being a woman and will fade to silver when she stops growing x

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TinaTop · 16/04/2018 23:31

As a teenager I got them on my calves, hips, breasts and inner thighs because I grew and developed so quickly. I didn't put anything on them and they're virtually invisible. Nobody has ever noticed or commented on them.

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alltheworld · 16/04/2018 23:33

I had them at that age although I was not overweight. I did not get them later on including in pregnancy

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ihearttc · 17/04/2018 17:06

DS1 is 13 and has got them right in the middle of his back. It literally looks like he has been attacked by huge claw marks. They just appeared over night on day. He has had a huge growth spurt so I know it's caused by that especially in the position they are in but he is a big lad anyway (rugby player build) and he's worried he will get teased about them.

Interesting that another poster was saying about hyper mobility...he has huge problems with his joints as well which we have put down to growing but Im wondering if there is more to it.

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themiddlebit · 17/04/2018 18:41

ihearttc I have heard that stretch marks can be a sign of hypermobility and endocrine issues... it's highly likely that it's speed of growth for both our children. But I think I may just follow up with a GP appt... If your son has joint issues could be worth just mentioning the stretch marks too... see what the GP.'s opinion is...
My son is 16 and he has also got quite big marks on his back which appeard after a growth spurt – but he's thankfully not really bothered... (that's what he says...)
Good Luck

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ChiefSpoon · 17/04/2018 18:49

I am hypermobile and have them all over my legs, arms, bum, hips, you name it! I'm milk bottle white as my mum would say and you can't see them from my teens at all! I have a handful of new ones from DS though.

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Aridane · 17/04/2018 19:02

Tell her her stretch marks are her tiger stripes.. they’re a natural part of being a woman

No, just no Grin

Sounds like that line from Shirley Valentine

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LemonysSnicket · 19/04/2018 00:27

@Aridane yes but young girls aren’t ironists,sometimes a new way of looking at things, however cheesy, can help them be proud of themselves.

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Elphabaisnotwicked · 19/04/2018 00:36

I got stretch marks over my thighs when I was about 12 and didn’t feel comfortable wearing shorts or anything at the time, I’ve never been overweight but always had quite chunky legs, I used bio oil on and off for a couple of years and never found it made a considerable difference but it may have done. Now at 18, they’re still visible but are no longer red and angry looking they’re really not very noticable now thankfully, hopefully it will be the same for your daughter Smile as a teenager, I always seem to have one physical thing that is bothering me at any given time, but it does change and it wasn’t stretch marks forever!

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Atticusss · 19/04/2018 00:41

I thought practically every teenager had them because of growing quickly? How about normalising them instead of looking for ways to fade them? I wouldn't rule out a holiday, most people are less self conscious on holidayc it might be the confidence boost she needs to wear shorts again.

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omallsm10 · 13/08/2019 08:03

Smile
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YesSheCan · 21/08/2019 22:15

Try to reassure your daughter. Stretch marks are very common during puberty. I got them on my thighs and hips at 14/15 when hips got wider and thighs got chunkier. They didn't stay dark for long and since adulthood have been barely visible. Didn't want them all over belly and boobs when pregnant so slathered myself in Palmer's cocoa butter every day - did the trick. Can't guarantee that would prevent all stretchmarks in everyone as some people just more prone than others anyway, but lots of moisturiser does help, as well as staying a healthy weight and not gaining too much weight quickly (obvs can't avoid this if pregnant!). My daughter (13) has stretchmarks. I'm a health care professional and have seen loads of people with them. As other posters have said, in the media they tend to get airbrushed out so we think they're not as common as they actually are.

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YesSheCan · 21/08/2019 22:23

Oh just noticed how old this thread is. They've likely faded by now and I hope you had your holiday OP! Smile

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lljkk · 22/08/2019 20:58

I like mine. All silvery. All from adolescence.

It's only from MN that I learnt they are supposed to be ugly & shameful.

Neah, I still don't feel that unhappy about them..
Hope you find a way forward, OP.
I could prove to my DD that they fade to being pretty.

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