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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Is this normal for school proms?

52 replies

FiveHoursSleep · 08/03/2018 14:43

DD1 is now in Y11 and there is Talk of the school prom. She's at a girls' school, so it's held with the boys' school but they parents organising have booked a venue that will only allow 200 tickets to be sold.
There are over 360 Y11 pupils in the two schools so that means a lot of the kids are going to miss out.
The tickets are being sold first in, first served tomorrow lunchtime at school so it's going to be quite a ruck.
DD1 is ambivalent about going but her friends really want to, so she's going to try and get a ticket, but someone is going to miss out. I know some people won't want to go but that's a large number who won't be able to.
Is this how it's normally done?

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 08/03/2018 15:09

Nope not normal at my DDs school. Everyone had a chance to go - although there were exceptions for bad behaviour/bad attendance (truanting rather than ill health)

AnneOfCleavage · 08/03/2018 15:32

At my DD's school only those who have done the required 40+ hours of online learning (on top of their normal homework) can go to the prom. This will rule out quite a few of the students but sort the chaff from the wheat as it were.

FiveHoursSleep · 08/03/2018 16:14

It sounds like some schools do attach conditions to their proms which is fair enough, I guess.

OP posts:
onlyonaTuesday · 08/03/2018 17:40

When Dd2 was at school, prom tickets were only sold to pupils with attendance above 97%

AnneOfCleavage · 08/03/2018 20:19

Oh yes, attendance is a factor too. Has to be above 96/97% I think.

TheFallenMadonna · 08/03/2018 20:26

No, it's not usual to do a first come first serve ticketing. Nor is it usual for parents to organise it.

TheSecondOfHerName · 08/03/2018 20:27

From the level of enthusiasm shown by DS2 and his friends, I'm not sure that the tickets allocated to the boys will sell out, so perhaps the girls will be allowed to buy the leftover tickets from the boys' allocation.

Caulk · 08/03/2018 20:28

Ours limits tickets too. It’s done mainly because they need the money up front to pay for stuff!

It’s also 97% attandence and on track with various behaviour stuff too

EduCated · 08/03/2018 20:29

That does seem unreasonably low - that’s not far off half that won’t be able to go. As you say, some won’t, but seems harsh to put such a limit on it. Large venues are understandably difficult to find/expensive, but still.

TheFallenMadonna · 08/03/2018 20:32

Only three students in DS's year chose not to go. Another missed it through illness. There were no restrictions based on attendance or behaviour. It was an absolutely lovely end to their time in the school.

TheFallenMadonna · 08/03/2018 20:33

And it was done at the school, not a different venue.

TheFallenMadonna · 08/03/2018 20:34

I know other schools have restriction. I like very much that my DC's doesn't.

happymummy12345 · 08/03/2018 20:36

When I was at school every student in year 11 had the opportunity to go if they wanted.

TheSecondOfHerName · 08/03/2018 20:38

When DS1 was in Y11 (two years ago) the prom was held at a picturesque venue (a mansion on a hill) in which had enough room for everyone. He wasn't sure whether he would go or not, but I bought him a ticket in case he decided to go. He decided a week before the prom that he would go, and he had a great time. One girl arrived riding her horse!

FiveHoursSleep · 08/03/2018 21:42

They have changed the allocation to names pulled out of a hat. It's probably fairer but DD1 is distraught about the thought of some of her friendship group going and others not. FOMO in action.
At least she hasn't bought her dress!

OP posts:
BlessYourCottonSocks · 08/03/2018 21:47

Sounds horrendous. I am a Y11 tutor and the Y11 prom committee organise the event (with approval/input from HoY). Nothing to do with parents - they do not get involved; this is a school event.

And there is room for every pupil who wishes to attend. I would question any school who allowed parents to organise a prom that only some students could attend.

As a matter of interest, what if the parents who are organising it discover that none of their children 'win' a ticket? Or will they be given one automatically because Mummy is the organiser?

TheSecondOfHerName · 08/03/2018 22:01

They have changed the allocation to names pulled out of a hat.

I hope they don't do that for DD's year. She has three close friends. If DD was the only one of the four with a ticket, she probably wouldn't go. If the other three had a ticket and not her, she'd be really upset.

What a minefield!

FiveHoursSleep · 08/03/2018 22:02

The children of the organisers are given a ticket automatically. I am a little annoyed by that.

OP posts:
pointythings · 08/03/2018 22:05

No limit at our school. Attendance has to be over 95% but illness reported by parent isn't counted so children who have been ill don't miss out. Behaviour does have to meet standards though.

TheSecondOfHerName · 08/03/2018 22:06

The children of the organisers are given a ticket automatically.

Will the names be picked out of the hat by the girls on the prom committee? The cynic in me is wondering how randomised the process will be.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 08/03/2018 22:12

I would be speaking to the school about it - this is not a Y11 school prom. This is a private party organised by the parents of some Y11s.

GreenTulips · 08/03/2018 22:12

This will rule out quite a few of the students but sort the chaff from the wheat as it were

How horrible! All the kids att me school and will be a leaving event - so presumably all will be leaving?

What a shot way to trgo at people!

If this was a works event there'd be uproar .... poor kids

GreenTulips · 08/03/2018 22:13

Attend
Sort
Treat!
LOL

acornsandnuts · 08/03/2018 22:16

I find the attendance exclusion bloody horrible. So a pupil who has had an illness or surgery or injury is excluded from prom. Madness.

TheSecondOfHerName · 08/03/2018 22:20

So a pupil who has had an illness or surgery or injury is excluded from prom.

I don't agree with making eligibility for the prom conditional on high attendance, but illness or surgery would be authorised absence for medical reasons, so wouldn't be used to calculate the %.