Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Is this normal for school proms?

52 replies

FiveHoursSleep · 08/03/2018 14:43

DD1 is now in Y11 and there is Talk of the school prom. She's at a girls' school, so it's held with the boys' school but they parents organising have booked a venue that will only allow 200 tickets to be sold.
There are over 360 Y11 pupils in the two schools so that means a lot of the kids are going to miss out.
The tickets are being sold first in, first served tomorrow lunchtime at school so it's going to be quite a ruck.
DD1 is ambivalent about going but her friends really want to, so she's going to try and get a ticket, but someone is going to miss out. I know some people won't want to go but that's a large number who won't be able to.
Is this how it's normally done?

OP posts:
Idontmeanto · 09/03/2018 06:15

Sounds like “school” need a bit more influence here. I’ve only ever known schools prevent students attending prom in extreme circumstances.

RowenaDedalus · 09/03/2018 06:26

If they're just looking at normal school attendance figures for prom then illness or injury certainly would affect percentage of absence.

helloBuddy · 09/03/2018 06:41

That's awful and I would be complaining about it. That's a lot of teenagers not being able to attend, the prom is such a big thing for teenagers these days.

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 09/03/2018 07:48

I don't think the school want to be involved so they have left the organisation down to some pupils ( mostly girls) and their parents.
I am not the prom organising type so was happy to leave it to others but I never imagined that numbers were going to be so limited!

OP posts:
MsJolly · 09/03/2018 07:53

I certainly would be discussing this with school-completely unacceptable to organise a Yr11 prom that only 60% can go to-whilst at the same time making sure their darlings can attend! Fuck that!

Slartybartfast · 09/03/2018 07:57

Perhaps if she gets a ticket and her friends dont she can pass on her ticket?
sounds a bit rubbish

Chugalug · 09/03/2018 08:00

This dosnt sound good..are you sure you have the full story op?

TroubledLichen · 09/03/2018 08:08

So let me get this right, the school has washed their hands of the prom and is letting a group of random parents organise what is supposed to be the end of school celebration?! The parents have massively messed up and booked a venue too small so only 60-ish% of kids can attend, name will be drawn out of a hat potentially splitting up friendship groups, yet the organisers’ children are given special treatment. I don’t know what you will achieve, probably not a lot since the school don’t seem to care, but I would definitely complain.

BrownTurkey · 09/03/2018 08:26

This is just asking for a ‘cooler’ alternative prom party to be organised. They are making a hash of this, tickets and places should be available to all before a certain date.

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 09/03/2018 10:04

I've rung the school who have confirmed that they are not involved but said the HOY may be able to answer some questions. So I could email her. I'm not sure whether to get that involved or not.
DD may get a ticket anyhow, but I still feel sorry for anyone who wanted to go and couldn't.

OP posts:
TroubledLichen · 09/03/2018 10:23

Whatever you decide re the HOY, I expect you won’t be the only parent to complain, especially once they do the draw. There will be a lot of upset teenage girls (I expect the boys school might not be as fussed as the girls) who can’t go to prom.

halcyondays · 09/03/2018 10:26

Why are parents organising it and not the school?

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 09/03/2018 10:28

I don't know why parents/girls are organising it? Is that not normal either?

OP posts:
Sundance2741 · 09/03/2018 11:06

Whatever happened to equal opportunities?

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 09/03/2018 12:30

I can't say for sure that no boys/ boy's parents are organising too but our school is single sex so I only know about the girls!

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 09/03/2018 13:04

My DSD went to a prom last year the same as this (Y6). he school didn’t want to organise one so a set of parents (including my DSD’s mum organised one). It was very excluding. As per your example, the parents (it was organised by 4 of the mums) booked a venue and people were ‘vetted’ for tickets. I didn’t agree with it (but I kept my mouth shut). Kids were excluded as they weren’t part of the ‘chosen ones’. Wrong in my opinion. From what I can gather it was as much for the kids as the mums.

Hope your daughter gets a ticket. If not, then a life lesson to be learnt on how it’s not nice to exclude people.

TheSecondOfHerName · 09/03/2018 15:20

I can't say for sure that no boys/ boy's parents are organising too

The 'prom committee' only has girls on it. One of the parents has (I think?) b/g twins, one at each school, which would make them a sensible choice to liaise between the two schools although I'm not planning to volunteer when DD and DS3 are in Y11

helhathnofury · 09/03/2018 18:33

Sounds an awful way to do it. I'm old fashioned and don't agree with this whole prom drama anyway. It was played down a bit for yr6 as a leavers disco but still had the limos being booked.
Ds is y11 so he has one this year...then they get another yr13!
Just adds pressure to those parents who can't afford ridiculous priced dresses and modes of transport! I have twin girls so double whammy with them. Thankfully they're not into shopping so might get away with an eBay job.

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 10/03/2018 22:02

My DD has her eye on a £40 dress from Asos if she gets a ticket. Apparently, there are 140 girls in the hat for 100 tickets. That's too many who will miss out IMO :(

OP posts:
EduCated · 10/03/2018 22:39

Really rubbish situation, which is inevitably going to lead to fallouts - if all but one or two of a group get tickets, it’s a big ask for the rest of the group not to go.

What’s the betting that the organisers friends kids get tickets?

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 13/03/2018 14:07

Update on this. DD didn't get a ticket, she was number 101 from the hat. All her friends got a ticket so she's feeling very left out and I'm angry on her behalf.

OP posts:
EduCated · 13/03/2018 14:18

Angry on both of your behalf’s. What a horrible situation to be put in.

MsJolly · 13/03/2018 16:00

Party with all the kids left out?

MycatsaPirate · 13/03/2018 16:04

thesecondofhername That sounds like my DD's prom. Also had a girl arrive on her horse!

Are you in Dorset?

TroubledLichen · 13/03/2018 16:06

That’s shit, your poor DD. Can’t believe the school are happy to let this go on, it’s utterly appalling. You never know, some might decide they’re not going if their good friends are amongst the other 40 not to get tickets and then would she be first in line as she was number 101?

Swipe left for the next trending thread