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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Monthly Allowance for 17year old? Help

29 replies

Monica53 · 24/02/2018 10:09

Good day to everyone

Seeking advice from lovely mumsnet- our DD is 17 and at 6th form college, also enrolled to do Duke of Edinburgh and currently awaiting confirmation of voluntary work, (Also trying to get her to find paid work), however we seem to be constantly handing out money to her, and have limited income, so we have thought give a monthly allowance, we pay for her phone, driving lessons and we buy toiletries in weekly shop so we were thinking around £80 per month? we put this to her and response was what? is that all? umm.. well if you need more you will need to find P/T work. Any comments or how yourselves managed with allowances for your teens would be gratefully appreciated. Thank you in advance of your responses. Xx

OP posts:

SugarDarling · 24/02/2018 10:13

Our DD is 17 and has just started a part time job in a cafe.... we buy her 'normal' clothes etc and will be paying for driving lessons ... but if she wants the 'branded 'clothes they all want etc we insisted she gets a job .

Super123 · 24/02/2018 10:21

I think £80 on top of everything else you're paying is very generous.

We are on a low income and when dd was in 6th form, we gave her bus fare, lunch money, bought her toiletries and paid all her rowing fees. On top of this we gave her £5 a week allowance, as this was what we could afford.

She got a job in a bowling alley and juggled this really well with A Levels.

She is now at medical school, is brilliant with money and paying for her own driving lessons.

I think teenagers will push you as far as they can.

I'd tell her that you have made a generous and fair offer and she can top it up if she wants to.

I wish I had £80 for myself each month!

Original poster

Monica53 · 24/02/2018 10:33

Hi
Yep one thing I did say was I wish I had £80 for myself every month😏. She needs to get a p/t job,would also help money awareness and her confidence in general. Thank you xx

OP posts:

seven201 · 24/02/2018 10:56

I think £80 is too much considering all the other stuff you are paying for her. If you could afford more then maybe £100, but you shouldn't need to struggle so your dd can do everything she wants. She should get a pt job. I worked in Woolworths during sixth form. I teach sixth formers and they all seem to have pt jobs. Maybe she should stop the d of e?

Hesburger · 24/02/2018 11:07

Geez - that seems a lot to me.

I used to get quarter of that (with inflation maybe £40 now) and got a job to buy what I needed and pay for my driving lessons.

I think she needs to be more independent if she wants more!

strawberrysparkle · 24/02/2018 11:12

£80 is a lot with driving lessons on top!

Leopard12 · 24/02/2018 11:21

I had £40 and it wasn't that long ago! Make a list of things she would need money for and then decide, as it will vary massively between different teenagers eg bus fare to college? Packed lunch vs buying lunch? What does she do evenings and weekends? £80 sounds a lot but bus fare for 20 days could easily be £40-60 and lunch x 20 another £40...

Original poster

Monica53 · 24/02/2018 11:35

Thank you - we also pay her monthly bus pass which is £30 so..She normally goes out in evening for coffee and has friends round at weekend,though I do believe she needs a job to understand money and budget?

OP posts:

NorthernSpirit · 24/02/2018 11:56

£80 on top of everything is far too much. This isn’t teaching her independence or budgeting - not while mum and dad kay for my driving lessons, clothes, toiletries, phone, bus pass and give me an allowance. You’re not doing her any favours.

At her age my mum and dad paid for basic clothes and that was it. I had a Saturday job in Miss Selfridge (ok it was a few years ago) and worried the evening shift in a restaurant in the evening. I had my own money, and had independence.

BrainlessDailyMail · 24/02/2018 12:01

I gather the £80 is for clothes, eating out & entertainment?

It's A LOT more generous than we are. My 18yo has a job & asks for nothing & my 16yo earns to pay for the above things (mostly/partly).

Sandunesandseashells · 24/02/2018 13:00

At 17yrs (2 yrs ago) I paid for my son's phone, gym membership and driving lessons. He had £35/ mth for clothing other than uniform and £10/wk in his hand, so about the same as OP. When he started a weekend job I still gave him the same because I wouldn't penalise him for earning more. He saved most of his earnings and has since invested it, although we went halves on his car and insurance.

Thelampshadelady · 24/02/2018 13:03

Blimey. I didn’t get a monthly allowance at 17. (I’m 30 now). I just made do with my wages from my part time job.

SugarDarling · 24/02/2018 13:49

It would annoy me more that she isn't grateful for that amount... that would deffo imply getting a job would benefit her 🙂

mikesh909 · 24/02/2018 13:55

I'm a working adult as is my dp and £80 is what we allow ourselves in 'pocket money' i.e. For casual spending on coffees, lunches, magazines. If we want to buy something bigger, we make sure to take lunches from home so there's money left. It would be a good life lesson for your dd to learn that money only stretches so far and priorities must be set.

DelphiniumBlue · 24/02/2018 14:00

DS3 is 17. He gets £10-15pw for lunch, and we pay for his ( cheap) phone and ( Primark) clothes, along with toiletries and haircuts. We will probably be paying for driving lessons, and we pay about £40pa PS4 subscription.
He doesn't go out much, maybe cinema / pizza about every 3 weeks, and we pay for that.
He gets £20pm on top of that, and he seems to have enough money in hand to buy coke and snacks when he feels like it.
I've said he if wants more, he can do more chores or get a job - he seems quite happy as he is.
But he is not fussed about clothes, and doesn't go out every week, so there isn't really anything he needs. If your DD is more sociable, then she might have more expenses.

StarOnTheTree · 24/02/2018 14:18

I give DD (17) £100 a month. She pays for just about everything out of that, mobile, college lunches (she can take packed lunches if she wants), socialising, clothes and anything else. She gets free travel to college but has to finance any other travel herself. She uses communal toiletries but buys anything else she wants.

Some of my friends think £100 is a lot but it actually saves me money. It's only when you add everything up that you realise how much you're giving them or spending on them. I'm on a low income but £100 is only slightly more than the child benefit that I get for her.

exexpat · 24/02/2018 14:33

DD is 15 and has recently started getting an allowance of £100 a month to cover all clothes (other than school stuff), going out (bus fares, cinema tickets, cafe food & drinks), make-up etc, though I do pay for her phone contract as well, and her grandmother sometimes gives her pocket money. She doesn't have a regular paid part-time job but does do several hours of voluntary work a week, and gets very occasional baby-sitting or other one-off jobs.

The main aim was to make her a bit more budget conscious and so far that seems to be working - the money does not all disappear within a week and she is thinking twice about impulse buys of clothes and make-up. I see it as preparation for when she goes off to uni in a few years time - I don't want her blowing her first term's money on clothes in the first two weeks...

I got £40 a month when I was around her age more than 30 years ago. Clothes have got a lot cheaper (relatively speaking) but other stuff is more expensive, so £100 seemed about right.

overmydeadbody · 24/02/2018 14:40

Mine has a part time job, they are paid pretty well (£10 ph for 5 hrs a week). They have to save half of that and use the rest to pay for everything. About£30 a month good on essentials which leaves him with£70 a month for other things.

I would not just give them money. They can earn it with a job or by doing specific jobs for you.

VanessaShanessaJenkins · 24/02/2018 14:47

Some parents on here are so generous!
At 17 I bought my own driving lessons, car and insurance, clothes, mobile phone contact etc. The only thing my mum paid for was £10 a week in petrol to drive to 6th form which was more than she use to pay in my bus pass anyway.

She didn't make me pay rent while I was in full time education though.

daydreamnation · 24/02/2018 16:23

My dd is almost 17. I give her £50 a month and on top of that pay for her phone (reasonably cheap, capped contract) travel expenses and basics like toiletries, underwear, pjs etc.
She is looking for a part time job and does a bit of babysitting when she can. She's at 6th form and is a real grafter so I'm happy to fund her while she studies!

daydreamnation · 24/02/2018 16:26

I also agree that the important fact here is that she's ungrateful for her generous allowance!

Original poster

Monica53 · 25/02/2018 10:09

Good morning to you all x
Thank you for all your replies/comments so interesting. We have an appointment at bank for new account specifically for this reason. Yes when she commented about the amount we did correct her about being ungrateful etc.. Yes she goes out around 1/2 times a week some times not at all,however as we've told her and shown her out expenditure she does need to get pt job to fund any additional things also helps her budgeting skills of which she has O and help her social/confidence skills. Xx

OP posts:

clairethewitch70 · 25/02/2018 19:54

I have two DS's both in College full time. They are 22 & 18. They each get £40 a month but we pay for their driving lessons, pants/socks, toiletries, college expenses/trips, any college required clothing, PS network for one of them and World of Warcraft for the other. We top up their phones. They have packed lunches and one walks to College, the other has a free bus pass to a college much further away. Their money is literally for snacks and older DS saves for clothing.

Older DS is looking for a part time job & both help care for me and my DM who lives with us. We have our own business so DH often brings print finishing work home for them to do which we pay them for. They don't complain. Any extra expenses we pay, such as computer parts etc.

Ledkr · 25/02/2018 20:12

Dd gets her phone paid for and was getting 60 per month but she's very very lazy at home, leaves milk out, lid off, tea bag on counter, spoon in sugar etc. So this month I've said only 20 and she can then choose to earn extra via jobs.
She's thrilled as you can imagine but it's up to her.

Drained · 26/02/2018 12:31

My DSs get their age per week as an allowance. Eldest is 18, so £18/week. His sixth form lunches are paid for, as is his phone, but this covers everything else - going out at weekends, cinema, haircuts, fuel for car (we pay for insurance etc), clothes etc. I will tend to buy his basic toiletries, but if he wants anything special he has to pay for it.

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