I'm boken

[Kath36]

Ok so I've posted a few posts on her about my 15 year dd. So to cut long story short my beautiful girl changed over night. Wrong friends trouble at school to extent permantly excluded. Sent to her dad's to try and help her 100 miles away. She upped the game school refusal the kick offs the attitude etc. He called social services and a social worker become involved was put on reduced time table at school. Then evidence on iPad was seen of weed smoking with friend from when she was with me and a man exposing himself to her in said friends home with the parents were there. Police called. Then the father couldn't cope threatened care and wanted then to take her away fast forward 2 weeks and she is coming back to me tomorrow. I thought she had learnt something in week told me how it was a fresh start blah blah I've been in touch with every agency possible to week for help and it seems I will be getting it. A report states she is extremely vulnerable and now on the sexual exploitation list. As a result everything bit of help being thrown at me. Then I speak to her ladt night and bang. She don't want to give up her friends I'm going to treat her like a prisoner etc her attitude stinks. I had a positive day ready for her coming home and she had dragged me down again. My partner is not helpful as he shouts and doesn't particularly listen when I ask him not to I'm breaking and I don't know how to stop it. I cry all the time and it's consuming my life. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I'm in a very dark place because of my once funny living caring dd. I don't know where i went so wrong.

Epic meltdown last night. Partner asked her to take key with her as she was going to see my friend. She clearly didn't want to resulted in her telling him to f**k off. Sent her to her room. She then went into meltdown saying we didn't want her I was going to hit her I don't understand her. It's all my fault etc etc. 2 hours later she came into us and apolised. She refuses to go to Dr. I don't know how to deal with this and her Jekyll and Hyde moods.

Worth drilling to understand why she had such a strong reaction to the request. What is the under lying issue? Positive step that she apologised !

This has been a bad week with her. Moody picking arguments rude me me me attitude. Feel totally worn out. She stayed the night with her step sister last night and I was glad for it. She is refusing to go to gp with me all I get is you don't understand. Will this ever get better. Surely it has to.

Ok so today I have discovered she has been communicating with the one person she knows she wasn't aloud to. Via snapchat I stupidly agreed 10 mins a day on my phone. She has totally kicked me in teeth. This girl claims to have been kicked out of the school my dd went to and she was plotting to get moved into same place where my dd is due to attend. Devastated. Feel like I've taken 200 steps backwards. Explains behaviour for this week. I've taken ps4 from room and reacted calmly no screaming that I'm so disappointed in her. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Having experienced two very different but extremely difficult experiences with my teenage dc I can sympathise with your situation.
As you describe it's almost impossible to always keep tabs on teens and police what they get up to. It's exhausting and demoralising.

I realised that deep down I had to have faith and trust in my dc ( very difficult to do as they were making terrible life choices at the time). I used to repeatedly say to them that I trusted them to make responsible, good choices for themselves. ( this didn't mean I let go of rules or expectations )
My theory was that if they knew I trusted them it might give them confidence to trust themselves and mature a little. I do think in their case their knowing that ultimately I had faith in them did help all of us.

I'm stuck really I don't want her to be like a prisoner but everytime I get go a little she makes yet another bad decision. Please tell me this ends at some point.

Ok so haven't posted in a while so thought i would give an update and put out there our new issues. So things were ticking over few kick offs but nothing major. I recently had an operation that had put me out of action. During the first few days after things was not great at all argued constantly. Then the bombshell hit. I can home after struggling to get to go for dressing change to find house silent and a note. My world fell apart police called and they were great house full of people all looking for her finally found with the 2 girls I had tried so hard to keep her from. However she doesn't like talking about that happened 4 week ago now and since then I have had messages from said girls saying I'm not going to stop them seeing my dd and just try and stop them. Told social workers etc don't really think they can do much. Still no news about a start date for school which stresses her out apparently those that can are chasing up on Monday. Since the running off thing she has changed helping out more etc then her father starts sending stupid messages then his gf who is 9 years older than dd. She went bat shit crazy and rang him against our advice. (First time she has spoke to him since 30th jan) he blamed her for everything and what a failure she was etc etc. She was inconsolable and we did our best to pick up the peices. She asked to see a Dr for help with her anger and she feeling so low. Referred to Monday who then wrote to me to tell me as social services were involved they could do the assessment. Social Worker been taking her for lunch to build some trust but I honestly don't think anything has happened. I just don't know what to do she is down not sleeping and eating habits are changing. She has built up a fear of being alone and I'm due back to work in 3 weeks and now I'm stressing out about that. Do social workers help and make a difference. Sorry for long post.

Seriously please someone anyone give me some faith that life with a 15 year old daughter gets easier.

Why does everything have to be such a drama. Life is hard enough at times.

Worn out when does it ever end?