Teens financial expectations...what are 'everyone else's parents' actually giving their teenagers??

[Maisie36]

My son gets £35 per month pocket money, plus his phone. He has a bus pass for school, and during term I give him £20 per week for lunch. However when it comes to weekends and holidays apparently all his friends parents dish out £10 a day for food! This seems unlikely to me, it adds up to a rediculous amount but im told I am I just being tight! What are 'everyone's else's parents' actually doing??

Mine get gym membership (worth £55 a month), £35 a month pocket money and £20 a week lunch money. I buy clothes and toiletries.

If they are eating dinner out I might pay £20 towards it, but not more than around once a month.

And I always pay for train fares (no one ever checks the tickets where we live, and I don’t want them to be tempted not to buy tickets) and I will always pay for evening taxis home because I want them to be safe.

16 year old gets £150 a month. Has to pay for everything herself, we provide school uniform and food in the home (she can take a packed lunch if she can be bothered to make it). Works brilliantly as she's had to learn to budget and we no longer have her asking for money constantly. She's learnt that buying her toiletries in Poundland and making a sandwich rather than buying a panini at school means she has more money to spend on clothes and make up.

DS 15 and Dd's 12 all get £5 a week if there room is clean. Ds going to town with mates tomorrow but has no money to take because he hasn't been arsed to clean room. Might give him £5 to cover food -£3 meal deal at tescos will do fine, but that will be it. He is useless with money, soon as he has any -its gone. Dd's are much more sensible and actually have money to spend when need it.

I'm so sick of 16 year old DS wanting handouts. He has just got a job but doesn't start until mid Nov which is annoying.

I give him £30 a week for lunches at college. I also pay for his phone (£30 a month), and football (£23 a month). I pay for clothes that he needs (not the designer stuff he wants though!) My parents give him £15 a week pocket money.

I'm hoping once he starts working he'll start to appreciate the value of money a bit more.

I pay for phone.

Anything else is on an ad hoc/as needed basis, but she mostly has lunch at home.

I would not be dishing out money for lunches every day. That’s crazy.

DD, 16 next week, gets £10 per week. She's just started to top this up with babysitting. It is paid weekly into her bank account with the proviso that I reserve the right to stop it if she doesn't behave/do her chores/starts smoking. I top up her school lunch account as necessary and I occasionally bung her a bit more during the holidays, but big purchases and days out need to be budgeted for.

She is expected to fund her own entertainment and phone (giff gaff is good for cheap deals). She's also supposed to buy her own clothes, though if she's out with me she's very good at maneuvering me into buying them for her.

Generally any conversation about large purchases involves me raising an eyebrow and asking how she is going to fund it. To be fair, she's become very good at budgeting over the last few years and I will be increasing her allowance after GCSEs, though she doesn't know that yet. I'm hoping that by the time she leaves home she will have a good grasp of the concept of living within her means.

DS now 16 gets £40 a month and phone.

He has school dinners paid for termly by us.

He is currently (as I type) doing his lifeguard course so that he'll be able to get a job as a lifeguard on £9 per hour!

When he was still 15 he set up an online vintage clothing store, buying things from vintage fairs and charity shops and selling at a really good profit. (He has proper spreadsheets and everything!)

I wouldn't get into the habit of handing over extra cash but may slip him the odd fiver/tenner in the holidays if he was going somewhere special.

Mine gets £10 a week off Grandparents
£20 a months phone top up from me
£35 a month bus pass from me
I provide lunch and snacks for school.

DC friend gets £20 a DAY during the week spends and it drives me bonkers as not only do I end up feeling shit about how much my own child gets when their friend is splashing the cash in front of them in the shop everyday but the friend buys loads of junk with it and I don't want dc eating two of those big bags of crisps,a whole 2 litre bottle of pop plus loads of sweets each blooming day really.

And mine is desperately looking for a job but having no luck

I don't give my 15yo any pocket money. I give her money when she needs it.

When I worked at Mcds last year we were always amazed how many teens you would see on a regularly basis . Many had been to the cinema , holding massive tango blasts and using upto date iPhones wearing their converse and branded clothes . I used to say how much I feel sorry for parents these days who must be under so much pressure to buy this stuff for their teens and I guess there's a lot of teens who feel left out because their parents can't afford to give them as much money as their friends and buy them the latest tech .

Just turned 17 DD gets bus fares to college plus £5 food money per day including weekends. We also pay her phone £10 a month.
She earns £10 a week from her job and gets £5 off me if she does ironing (hers and ours!)
Then at least £20 a month from gp's. She could earn more at her job if she wants extra money but has not been bothered yet which is her own choice.

I give her money when she needs it.

But how do you agree 'need' - does a teenager need lunch at Subway/Macdonalds/Nandos etc. Does a teenager need designer clothing and tickets to the cinema once a week? .

Our 16 (6th former) year old gets £30 a month, plus phone paid for. He gets £5 a week for school lunches so that means sandwiches three times a week. He has a part time job in a restaurant to pay for anything else, plus he saves birthday and Christmas money. If he goes out for something to eat with his mates he understands he has to pay for it himself.

I rarely buy him clothes or shoes (no school uniform), he has learned to budget himself and now sells stuff on line as well.

He was able to do a paper round at 14.

£20 a week for school dinners seems a lot.
My 16 yr old gets £12.50 a week for dinners. She gets £16 a month of us for pocket money. Pays any credit she uses on her phone herself out of that. We pay 'subs' for things she belongs to, and she walks to places or we give her lifts - we do give her train fair if she needs to use that on the odd occasion but other than that we don't hand out extras.

However, this is asked on here regularly and you get people from all across the spectrum, many of whom can't believe how much / how little other teens get.

I think one of the evaluating moments for me was when I was taking a home made sandwich and cheap coffee to work to save money and my teen rang me from Costa Coffee with a latte and mini muffins asking for cash to go somewhere and I realised how ridiculous it was.

Now they get the above and clothes and treats but not much extra

I've posted on a few threads like these before. I am torn to be honest as I feel we're a bit stingy but on balance we seem to be pretty generous going by the majority.

DD is 16 and we give #120 per month - in addition we pay for mobile phone (#55) Gym (#15) Netflix and Spotify (although we've started using Netflix lately..late adopters :) so it's a family cost now.

I've also started paying for her monthly subscription to Glossy Box but that's only #10 per month.

I pay for all toiletries/tights/underwear/school clothes and essentials.

We have discussed upping her pocket money as the costs of eating out/travel can be expensive but are keeping as it is just now and will review at the end of the year.

We have discussed part time jobs but to be honest we've decided we'd rather she didn't until next year as this is a crucial year for exams and she is studying so hard. She also does volunteer work and is heavily involved in Scouts.
If I felt she took it for granted or didn't understand how lucky she is I'd rethink but she's a good kid and to be honest what she gets from us is on the low of average side compared to most kids in her peer group.

= pounds

I am surprised that you think it is stingy Mrsblack - you sound very generous - I am sure many mumsnetters don't have £120 to spend on themselves every month (plus Glossy Box, gym membership, Netflix & Spotify - and I've just noticed £55 a month for mobile phone - what sort of contract is that !!!).

What sort of circles do you move in if what she receives is on the 'low side of average compared to her peer group' .

DS is 16 (year 11) - he gets £40 per month when I get paid - he has to empty and fill the dishwasher every day and do any other jobs I ask (hoovering etc) with a kind heart and without moaning!

He also has gym membership £32 - he goes nearly every day so good value. Also pay for phone £20.

Buses are free here - TFL. He takes a packed lunch to school.

He never asks for extra money - he budgets the £40 and is always known to have about £100 in his account when half term rolls round so he can do extra stuff like cinema and Nandos etc without asking for more (which he wouldn't get anyway).

He is looking at getting part time work but I'd rather he focused on school and gym in the evenings and got a job next year.

DD is 18.5 and has worked since she was 16 and in year 11 (only in an office during the holidays) and now in a fast food place. She is at college and funds her own social life. I pay her train fare to college and her clothes and toiletries. She hasn't asked for cash to spend for 18 months now, she budgets her wages. No wages left, you have to stay in.

My children have £30 a month, plus £3 a day on their school dinner account, season ticket for the tram and mobile phones on a capped contract. I pay for their clothes and most toiletries, but extras like make up, hair dye and things from Lush they buy out of their allowance.

I don't spend £10 a day on my own lunches (well once in a blue moon) so it seems a lot for children to expect.

I agree that it is fair to think about what you spend on yourself and compare this to what is spent on teenage children. Phone contract - fair enough (though mine is £7.50 a month so I'm really shocked that some are so expensive) Lunch out regularly - probably not.

It seems a very British thing to not expect teens and young adults to combine work and study. It's very very common in my native culture, especially at university level and even well into adulthood (my sister worked FT as a teacher and did a master's as well as being a mum to two children and in her 30s). As for £120 to just blow, yeah, Ragwort, that's definitely not a circle I move in. No one I know even has that for themselves in adulthood, much less £55 for a mobile, Netflix/etc, gym and 'Glossy Box' and everything else.

DD gets £20 pocket money, phone paid for, Spotify. We buy all her clothes, toiletries etc. We give extra money when there’s something arranged in half term or the weekend, so far this half term that’s only been £20 for Nando’s, If she wants to buy something from McDonald’s she buys it herself. We top up her school dinner account as and when it’s needed. We give her the odd tenner here and there too if she’s been extra helpful. She certainly doesn’t go short though she has DH wrapped around her little finger so he’s the go to!! 🙄🙄

DD is 17. She gets her phone bill paid for (£10), driving lessons paid for (£28) and £10 if she goes out with friends (very occasionally).

£40 per month plus phone plus £20 for half term here.