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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

13 year old has been having a screaming tantrum for 5 hours

47 replies

TallulahTwin · 10/09/2017 17:34

She's been getting more and more rude and full of terrible attitude lately, speaking to DH, me and her siblings like dirt.

This morning was the final straw and DH took her phone off her until she can speak to us decently.

She is now having a screaming tantrum in her room, it's been going on, on and off, for 5 hours. She is also shouting horrible stuff at DH and I.

I'm at my wits end Sad

OP posts:
AdalindSchade · 10/09/2017 17:35

Keep ignoring her. She's trying to face you off - don't lose.

Whosthemummynow · 10/09/2017 17:36

Looks like you'll be keeping that phone for a while then!

donkir · 10/09/2017 17:37

As hard as it is you're best to ignore the tantrum. Continue as normal, call her down for dinner (if you've not already eaten) if she ignores you or refuses to come down then she goes without.

PinkHeart5913 · 10/09/2017 17:39

Well you can't go back on the phone now!

Ignore and ignore. A todddler screams when mummy/daddy takes toys away from for being naughty not a 13 year old they are old enough to know how we behave.

Sounds to me she's just shocked you've actually done something about her behaviour as she didn't think you would

Gin 🍫 for you lovely

missyB1 · 10/09/2017 17:40

That's fine she will drop with exhaustion at some point. When she is eventually calm just act all breezy and normal like nothing happened.

Anecdoche · 10/09/2017 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpaghettiAlphabetti · 10/09/2017 17:42

My 5 year old is having a screaming tantrum right now. She's been going for 30 minutes after being foul all afternoon.

I know it's not the same thing but sympathies all the same. It sucks. Flowers

Helenluvsrob · 10/09/2017 17:42

She's 13. How about you go off to the local costa / pub till she gets over it !

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/09/2017 17:43

I second going out and leaving her to it.

Buckinghambae · 10/09/2017 17:44

I feel for you, very much been there and done that. First of all, well done for holding out and keep going, it's bloody hard.

Do whatever you need to in order to keep going, can you get support so you can take turns in being there? A short drive/walk out for each of you will allow you to keep your calm in the face of it. Don't engage at any level and it will eventually burn out. We are past it now but I remember the pain vividly and looking after the pair of you is the most important element Flowers

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 10/09/2017 17:45

Keep going. Flowers
I know we all dread the terrible twos but they should warn us about the terrible tweens

Mines 15 next week and is shaping up to be a lovely young man, but 12/13?
Urgh monster

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 10/09/2017 17:48

If DS behaved like that the phone would be going in the bin.

PragmaticWench · 10/09/2017 17:48

Whatever you do, don't show any divide between you and your DH, stay strong!

She'll have to sleep eventually...

insancerre · 10/09/2017 17:50

Ignore
Then ignore
Then ignore some more
Dd is 21 and lovely but at 13 was bloody hard work

DaisysStew · 10/09/2017 17:51

Well she's proven that she's not mature enough to have a phone. Tell her it's gone indefinitely and when she's shown you that she's slightly more mature than a toddler she can have it back.

SoPassRemarkable · 10/09/2017 17:55

I do think it's a tough age and that maybe it's not just about the phone? Maybe this is the final straw with various other teen pressures?

Footle · 10/09/2017 18:07

How has her first week back at school gone? Sunday evening isn't the best time if there's something she's dreading. Stick to the phone sanction, but be alert in case there's something else the matter.

dodobookends · 10/09/2017 18:23

I'm inclined to agree with Footle

Original poster
TallulahTwin · 10/09/2017 20:43

Thanks for the replies.

She is still screaming and shouting now. I've just told her to go to bed...

OP posts:
Original poster
TallulahTwin · 10/09/2017 20:44

As far as school goes, I am pretty certain all is fine there, she's just been getting worse and worse behaviour wise over the past year.

OP posts:
donkir · 10/09/2017 21:50

Has she started her periods yet? If so it could be those. Try some evening primrose oil maybe

littlebillie · 11/09/2017 07:12

I feel your pain. I have two at the same age and at my wits end. I have returned the phone (which I took yesterday) social media scrubbed and the tv is locked. SICK of rude behaviours. Mine were lovely toddlers, this is a nightmare!

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 11/09/2017 08:00

Been there. Took phone off DD one night and she was like that (age16)) at ThE time.she was like a drug addict screaming and pleading for a fix. It totally shocked me at the time but u need to ride it out and stick to your guns.

Crumbs1 · 11/09/2017 08:04

I'd be tempted to tell her if she doesn't stop the phone goes in a bucket of water. Definitely don't give in.
Nice display of determination though - she'll do fine in the adult world of work.

NeonFlower · 11/09/2017 08:11

Stay strong, you are doing what she needs.

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