Leaving aside the issue that you need to back off slightly and let him work it out for himself most of your expectations are pretty unrealistic.
Books: Unless there's a book he's been told he NEEDS to buy immediately, most people won't buy books at the beginning of the term / many books at all. When I started uni we were told NOT to bother buying books initially. To wait until our course started and we worked out which books style suited us/ which parts of the syllabus interested us, though that may vary slightly for different courses. Plus for most (all?) courses the libraries will stock several copies of the most important texts - which will also be on short term loan so you never have to wait too long for one to become available (or some times nowadays you can access them online). I'm generally a bit keen so I bought more than my friends - I've got a handful of textbooks from my bachelors and bought a grand total of one book for my Masters - which I actually bought right at the end of the course - as it was one I'd found useful during the course so I wanted for future reference when I no longer had access to the library. From memory only one of the books I actually bought during my bachelors I used enough to make it worthwhile having bought it - it was for a module I missed almost all of the lectures for due to a health problem and having regular hospital appointments at the time of that module. University books are expensive so there's not a lot of point buying something you aren't going to use much.
Worrying about anything in the first few days is excessive - it will take a bit of time to start meeting people, but as he gets into his course/ joins clubs etc it will happen naturally. The best thing you can do is give him as much space as possible so he's free to participate in things as they crop up.
Also most universities are very aware of the fact that for most students it's their first time away from home/ being a bit more independent and are actually very supportive of that. The first few days tend to be mostly introductory type stuff anyway not really serious lectures.
Even if he has started serious lectures how do you even know he hasn't made notes? Are you checking all his notes? (That's crazy if you are!) Some people use laptops so won't have any pieces of paper, a lot of universities give electronic handouts/ copies of the slides so depending on personal preference/ how good the lecturer's slides are there might not be many notes to make (it also depends on learning style, some people learn better by sitting there concentrating on listening, others prefer to make notes)
Missing the odd 9 o'clock lecture isn't a big deal.
It's university - there's a reason there's a stereotype of students lying in and falling asleep during lectures. It will vary depending on his course/ university but my undergrad they used to take a register in each lecture - if you missed a few they'd chase you to find out why you were missing lectures. Ok you don't really want to start off that way, but you need to leave him alone to work it out, if he misses it/ is late, he'll soon work out what he needs to do to get there on time.
Often the first year doesn't count towards the final degree anyway - I know quite a few people who didn't do very well the first year, either because it took them a bit of time to adjust or they just didn't bother, but at the end of the year exams realised they needed to knuckle down and got it together for the second and third year.
So really don't worry quite so much. Most people do fine, and part of the learning experience of university is learning to deal with things yourself/ being independent - and frankly if it doesn't suit him, then that's not the end of the world - and once he knows that he can work out what does suit him.
I'd definitely encourage him to move out (if you/he can afford it), it's a lot easier to get on with what you need to/ start managing your own time when you don't have a parent breathing down your neck the whole time