Ds upset about his height.

[TotalUnknown]

Ds is 5'10" and has only grown an inch this year. He's just turned 17. His dad is 6'2", I'm 5'8".

He feels quite sad about this. He's very intelligent and good looking (not that I'm prejudiced), but he's also extremely skinny. Most of his life he was taller than his friends, but in the last 3 years every one of his close friends has shot past him and grown broader. Some have already filled out, too. He looks so small among them.

Fortunately ds has some brilliant role models, as two of the teachers he most respected have been small, slender men, and one of them will be teaching him this year.

But how do I talk to ds? Do I comfort him when he mentions his height and his disappointment in it? Are there things I should absolutely not say?

But why is he disappointed? 5ft 10 isn't short, it's pretty average surely.

Eh? 5,10 is fairly tall! Tell him he should be grateful to be healthy and fed. [old school]

5 foot 10 isn't objectively small - is probably average height for a man. I can see that if his dad's 6 foot 2 and his friends are getting taller than him then he might feel a bit short though.

5ft 10 is exactly average..?

He can't do much about his frame but I suppose if he wanted to he could 'bulk up' a bit....do some weight training etc.

I honestly was expecting you to tell us he was MUCH shorter than that tbh. Is he friends with a lot of dutch people or something?

At 17 he may not have stopped growing yet, also I wouldn't consider 5'10 as short.

Couldn't he still have growth yet to come, @TotalUnknown? Thought boys carried on growing until they're about 20?

We have a similar DS - he's only 5'9" and doesn't seem to have grown in nearly a year. BUT he hasn't really ever had a noticeable growth spurt so I'm wondering if it's still to come. And he only went through puberty at nearly 15...

5'10" in the UK is a good height. Many of DS's friends aren't that tall...

5'10" in my family would tower over us as the tallest is 5'8".

5'10" is a good height for a guy and he's not going to stop completely until he's about 21 ish to 25 ish.

That's fine. Taller than a lot of people.

5'10" is a good height, and as others have said he could still grow more yet!

My dh and my brother put on another inch during later teens so he could well grow more.

My DH, at 17 was around 5'10". At 19 he was 6'. At 22 he was just under 6'4" & finally stopped getting taller. However he'd always been quite slim (I've seen photos). He filled out a lot at around 21-22, as an adult, he's built like a rugby player (with a beer gut). It's a pain getting clothes though - most clothes for tall men are for slim build. Getting jeans to fit over his massive thighs is a pain, & suits are tricky. He looks like a Viking (he got mistaken for Dutch / Scandinavian when we went on hols a few years ago)

Tell him not to worry, he's not finished growing yet. And if he's a slim type as an adult, it's easier to put muscle on a slim man, than lose a beer gut as a larger man (apparently). I have the joy of overhearing a lot of gym talk at work

If he's still small build/skinny maybe he's going to be a later developer? DB was about 5'8" and small amongst his group of friends when they all finished school but by the time he came back from uni he was 6'4" and built like an outhouse.

5'10 isn't small at all for a man.. not quite sure what the issue is here. And there's nothing you can do about it anyway!

Tell him he is fine, he is average in height now and will probably grow taller. Most (not all) girls will be smaller than him so that is not an issue and even if they are taller it isn't a problem. My son at 20 (so unlikely to grow taller), is 5' 9" and his girlfriend is 5' 11", it doesn't seem to worry him even though she does call him shorty .

Sorry, my mistake, 5'9".

Is 5'10" really average? So maybe he just happens to have unusually tall friends? It just doesn't seem like that to us, especially with his 10yo little brother being 5'2" - the height ds1 was at 13.

My husband is 5'9 and I don't class him as short just normal, 5'10 is a good height! Boys/men don't stop growing until they are 21 so he might gain another inch or two by then. Tell him there are more important things to worry and be upset over than height.

www.averageheight.co/average-male-height-by-country

Average male height in the UK: 5 foot 9.75 inches.

Is he eating enough ?
You mentioned he is really skinny
He needs approx 3000 kcal so day to allow growth. And his diet needs to be balanced, so enough protein and fats

5 foot 9.75 inches is the exact average height in the uk

My DH is 5'9" and seems to have a bit of a problem with it - he often remarks on it whereas I haven't once said anything (I'm 5'4")

He overcame it as a teenager by doing lots of weight lifting so he wasn't so skinny and "small"

He might just have tall friends. All my friends at school were 6' + (including the girls!) so I always felt really small, although of course it seems to matter less for women.

Yes TotalUnknown! 5ft 10 is really average I promise!

He may grow another few inches but in the meantime maybe he could ask his friends to stand a bit further away so they look smaller...?

5 ft 9 is on the shorter side for men IMO but lots of men are that size - I'm 5 ft 10 and I don't see many men taller than me.

Honestly?

You tell him to give his head a wobble, he's not short, he's average height at the age of 17 . As you say he's skinny too, it's likely he'll have a growth spurt and get broader and taller.

Stop feeding this navel gazing bullshit.

Ds is the same age and 5'5", and though he'd like to be taller realises it's unlikely (early puberty) and is surprisingly accepting of it.

Sorry but he really doesn't have anything to moan about.

I'm 5'10" and the majority of the men around me on a day to day basis are smaller than me.

My little brother had a big growth spurt between about 16 and 20 and finished up at 6'5"

My oldest (25) is 5ft 8

Middle (19) is 6 ft 2

Youngest (15) is currently 6ft.

If my oldest can handle his "little bothers" I am sure your Ds will adjust to not being one of the tall ones anymore.